Blogging Etiquette: What Would You Do?

Recently, The Vegetable Assassin had a post that got me thinking...

What do you do when a blog you're following has taken on a different style? Let's just use my blog for example.

Let's say you joined my blog early on, when all I wrote about was food and restaurants. Maybe you're a foodie or whatever. So as time goes on, my post topics change to House Hunters, and endometriosis, and poop. And you think to yourself "I'm not into this shit anymore."

Do you unfollow the blog? Is that bad blogging etiquette?

I mean, I could totally unfollow someone's blog and not think twice because the chances of ever running into a fellow blogger IRL is like negative. But is that actually considered poor form? It shouldn't be, right?

I know some bloggers might be offended. I know because I've been there. But seriously, people stop following for a number of reasons and it shouldn't be the scandal of the century to UNfollow someone. What does it matter if I don't care what you wore today or how you choose to raise your kid? Or my favorite blog type of all- the ones where people constantly post NOT ironic duckface? You might be a cool person, but I'm just not super interested in your blog topic.

I mean seriously, see how silly you look...?

Anyway.

We read stories we're interested in. If we're not interested, why read?

So, follow or unfollow: What would YOU do?

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I'm Running Out of Time.

The title of this post makes me think of those emails you get from that Nigerian Prince you never met who needs your "asistanse" getting you that large inheritance from his independently wealthy uncle who just died and has no other heirs to give it to. (What?) And since those emails always have complete success, I'm only assuming the same thing will happen with this blog.

Anyway.

Time has been going by so fast lately.

I'm in a little bit of a routine. I don't really mind it. Because it's a good routine that keeps me busy and entertained. But it just seems like there are things I want to do, stories I want to write, accomplishments I want to make. And there's not enough time.

Sometimes I'm not sure if I want to speed things up and see what's in my future. Or if I want to slow things down and stop to smell the flowers. I guess I'm a little like that crazy bitch Jesse Spano when she took some stupid caffeine pills and started dancing around, singing The Pointer Sisters. "No time! Never any time!!!"



Maybe it's the time of year? School just started (not that it makes any difference to me), holidays are around the corner. The next couple of months are going to fly by, and before you know it, it'll be 2012.

Maybe it's my age? Everyone around me is starting (or continuing) to grow a family. They're doing special "parenty" events like taking their babies to the pumpkin patch and planning birthday parties and posting on Facebook about first teeth and first steps. Yeah. This kind of stuff bums my shit out.

Maybe it's my new job? Did I tell you about that? My new job? I'M GETTING PAID TO WRITE. Crazy shit, right? Anyway, I LOVE everything about my new job. Really, everything. But considering I'd been totally used to working from home for the past year (and by "working from home", I really mean blogging and watching The People's Court), I guess it's possible that actually GETTING UP and going INTO work might be making me feel like my days are slipping by, like the sands of time on the opening credits of Days of Our Lives.

Does this feeling ever slow down? Or have I reached a point of no return because I'm all old and shit and soon I'll be lecturing teenagers with anecdotes that start out with "When I was your age..."?

I don't really know where I'm going with this post. I just thought I'd share.


Oh- and mega thanks to those who commented on my last post about Kids: Yay or Nay? I'd still love to hear all of your thoughts on the topic, guys especially. There's no right or wrong answer, so don't worry, I'm not going to bash you for saying babies suck and they ruin everything.

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I'm Going to End Up Eating Kibble When No One's Looking.

I'm sure everyone* (*no one) has been majorly concerned about my whereabouts lately and wondering why my posts have been so few and far between.

So I'm here to tell you all* (*mom) not to worry, everything is going great. And by "great", I mean "fat". And before you embarrass yourself and ask if I'm pregnant, let me say No, I am not pregnant. So when you see me out at happy hour, don't be worried that I'm damaging my unborn baby. There's no baby. It's just waffles.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way.

I have something to share with you today. It's something that I'm pretty fucking excited about, but I realize that you probably won't give a shit about it. That's totally fine. Based on my analytics, I've come to accept the fact that our friendship "honeymoon" may have come to an end.

Alright, so the big topic of discussion is... my diet.

My diet is shit and I'm gaining weight and I'm not looking good.



With that said, I'm taking a stand against my chins and butts, y'all.

And I'm inviting YOU to stand against my chins and butts with me. (I know what I said.)

I created an account on DailyBurn to track everything I eat. With every item I track, my counter updates and lets me know how many calories, grams of fat, grams of protein, and grams of carbs I have left in the day in order to stay within my "lose weight" range.

If you're interested in making a DailyBurn account to track your food, let me know and we can be buddies! We can totally keep each other motivated AND get ideas from each other for healthy meals. And don't worry- nobody can see your private details (weight). And if we become buddies and it turns out you actually CAN see my weight details, you better fucking pretend like you never saw that shit.
Disclaimer: If you're one of those super competitive people and you have no problem going all anorexic and shit, we can't be friends.

And to get the ball rolling on this bitch, I'm even going to share my digits for today:

See that exclamation point in the "Fat" category? That means I did an OUTSTANDING job at overeating fat today. Also- it looks like someone needs to drink more water.

So... Who's in???

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The Time I Went to the Osbourne's House.

The title may be somewhat misleading as I never actually got INTO the Osbourne's house. But at least this way, readers who decide to skip reading my post will think I'm like *this* with celebs. It's a win-win.



Many years ago, when the Osbourne's still had their MTV reality show (2001ish?), I thought it would be cool to track down their house. The show always showed different clips of the exterior of the house, along with major street names in the general vicinity so I figured it was worth a shot. Worst case scenario, I spend a couple minutes driving through a bunch of million dollar mansions.

My friend, Hana, and I were living in Westwood at the time. We were on our way to Disco de Mayo, a 70's themed party at The Key Club in Hollywood. (Tight flare pants, polyester shirt and platforms were in full effect that night.) We were getting closer to the strip when I threw out the idea of looking for the house. I took a turn off Sunset onto another famous Beverly Hills street. We drove up the hill a couple blocks. We were looking left and right at each mansion that went by. And then I saw it...

The giant peach house...

The gate with the gargoyle heads...

I.SEE.THE.OSBOURNE'S.HOUSE.



It looked a lot smaller in person than it had on TV. Hana doubted me and said it wasn't the right house. I pointed out some key elements about the exterior and won the arguement. We decided to pull over and take a closer look. I parked across the street. Hana waited in the safety of my 1984 Volvo while I ventured into the unknown. I tiptoed halfway across the street when a voice came booming out through an intercom: "CAN I HELP YOU." Only the voice wasn't REALLY asking, like in a friendly customer service kind of "Can I help you?" way. It was kind of more along the lines of "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?" I could tell this hidden troll-under-the-bridge security guard wasn't messing around, so I squeeked out "Uhhhhh, no! Thanks!", turned around, and continued tiptoing my platformed ass back to the car.

As Hana and I shit our flare pants and said a bunch of "OMG!!!" while we floored it out of there, we couldn't believe what had just happened. We had just found the Osbourne house.

And then we went to Disco de Mayo.

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The Rapture: It's Coming, Y'all.

Has everyone heard the big news?

No, I'm not talking about Macho Man Randy Savage, although that was big news too.

Apparently, tomorrow is supposed to be the end of the world.

For reals.



So, I guess that means I should come clean with all the horrible things I've done in my life. You know, just to ensure my cozy spot in Heaven, next to the Golden Girls and Joan Rivers (What do you mean, she's not dead...?)

Let the confessions commence...

One time, I may or may not have stolen Barbie clothes from my best friend.

One time, I may or not have told my mom I hated her because she made me take swimming lessons.

One time, I may or may not have almost strangled a cat to death when I put a makeshift collar (see: Hair tie) around it's neck because I loved it so much and wanted to make it mine.

One time, I may or may not have broken up with a guy because he didn't eat as much as me.

One time, I may or may not have lied to my boss about why I would be missing work, explaining that someone had purchased a Contiki vacation for me as a gift without checking my work schedule, when I had actually purchased it myself.

Fhew! That felt great. That's about it for my confessions. If there's anything you'd like to get off your chest before the big day arrives, feel free to leave in the comments below. We're all friends here, no judgies.

Until the rapture makes its big debut, I can be found eating my weight's worth in Pringles and White Russians. And probably hanging out with my two favorite brothers, Mario and Luigi. (Also known as my "Friday Night Special".)

In related news- I'm really hoping it's not going to be the end of the world tomorrow because I just paid my car registration this week and if it turns out I wasted that $250, I'm going to be pissed.

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