I Guess My Doc Was Right. Colonoscopies ARE Great.

Last time we left off with this saga, I was all faded and xrated at the hospital after my colonoscopy. The GI doc said everything looked great and there was one section she had some trouble maneuvering around because I have a lot of insides crammed into a small body (Aww... I'm flattered). She also casually mentioned that she took two biopsies of areas that she thought were just inflamation from the scope, but wanted to be sure. Then she sent me on my way, with Beef N Cheddars on my mind.So last week I got a call her from her on the...

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Alright, I'm Back to Talking About Food. Also Known as: No More Butt Talk.

Before we get to the real deal Holyfield...Remember that social networking/ blogging site I told you about, Studio30Plus?? They asked me to be a guest writer for their blog magazine. (Looks like all those colonoscopies are finally paying off, amirite??) Check it out here.As I was saying...I'm sure I've bragged mentioned it before, but I spent a short time living in London a few years back. It was through the Bunac program and although it was hard being away from all my friends and family, it was a GREAT experience. I met some really...

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Pubic Service Announcement.

Ok, I want to take a moment to point out that in between my last two poop entries the unthinkable happened.I lost a follower.Maybe my butthole hijinx are too much for some people's fragile eyeballs, but I don't think I really ever write about anything TOO weird or unacceptable. My point in sharing these stories with you is partly (hopefully) to give you something to laugh at, but also just to share my random experiences. I'm not getting paid to go out and look for weird shit to blog about- this weird shit is just my life.(Important Note:...

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Another One About Poop (Part II of II).

Remember that one time I couldn't eat for a long ass time and nearly went insane in the membrane because of the starvations? Yeah, I do too. In fact, I'm still having 'Nam flashbacks to it. Every time I see a commercial for something delicious and greasy I start rocking back-n-forth in the corner. And then I realize my test is over and done with and I can eat all the non "clear liquids" my heart desires. And I immediately run to the kitchen and eat my weight in Ritz crackers and Hickory Farms cheeseball.So the last time we left off,...

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Another One About Poop (Part I of II).

So the last time I was at my doctor's office we had a conversation that went something like this:DR: I'm giving you a referral for a colonoscopy.TILTE: Nah, I'm cool.DR: A colonoscopy might be able to give us a better idea of what's bothering your stomach.TILTE: Ugh. Another test involving my butthole? AND I have to drink rancid laxative juice?? Is it going to make me nauseous, because if so, I don't want any part of it.DR: No, just get the Miralax kind and mix it with lemonade Crystal Light. Usually sour drinks calm an upset stomach....

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I Don't Get Picky Eaters.

This is boyfriend's daughter. We'll call her Pearl.Like most four year olds, she's a picky eater. Most of the time, there's at least one food per day that crosses her path that will send her hands flying up to her mouth like she's about to fro up all over the place. If given the option, she would live on plain bread, plain spaghetti noodles, and dry cereal for the rest of her life. Oh, and throw in a plain hamburger every now and then for good measure ("bun-meat-bun ONLY, please.")Now, I'm not one to shun my precious little carbs. And...

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Shit on My Phone.

I got this idea from Debs over at Fashion Plate. She had an entry about photos on her phone. So the other day when I was clearing out some old shit on my phone I came across some goodies (and some not-so-goodies). But whatever, I'm still sharing.While uploading the photos, I noticed some running themes so I grouped them together by category. However they pretty much all fall under the main category, DOING ANYTHING BESIDES PAYING ATTENTION TO THE ROAD.Cars That Make Me Stop and Take Pictures Like I'm a Psycho Stalker:I SWEAR My Car Has...

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