I Don't Get Picky Eaters.

This is boyfriend's daughter. We'll call her Pearl.

Like most four year olds, she's a picky eater. Most of the time, there's at least one food per day that crosses her path that will send her hands flying up to her mouth like she's about to fro up all over the place. If given the option, she would live on plain bread, plain spaghetti noodles, and dry cereal for the rest of her life. Oh, and throw in a plain hamburger every now and then for good measure ("bun-meat-bun ONLY, please.")

Now, I'm not one to shun my precious little carbs. And if given the choice, my own personal menu wouldn't really stray too far from little Pearl's. But I just don't understand picky eaters. Especially when they feign vomit looks over a slice of cheese or a serving of mashed potatoes. (Pssst- By the way kid, those two items are mother fucking delicious and if you don't end up loving them one day, then my name isn't Julia Child.)

Yesterday, Pearl and I were playing with Biscuit. She was giving commands and offering a treat every time Biscuit obeyed. At one point Pearl looked up at me with funny thoughts behind her eyeballs and said "Can I have a treat?"


Thinking back to 5 minutes before when she'd first opened up Biscuit's bag of treats and said "Mmm... These smell good" I knew she wasn't referring to a Danimal or some Cheez-Its. So I was like "Um... one of Biscuit's treats?" And she was like "Yeah." :::cue giant green eyeballs staring up at me::: So I was like "Um... no, these treats are just for Bisc-" (realizing I've smelled these same treats before and they really do just smell like crackers and this inquiry was coming from the pickiest eater on the face of the planet) "-Ok. I'll take a bite if you will."

So we split one of Biscuit's treats. Just one little heart-shaped, oat-flavored treat.

And then the unbelievable happened.

Pearl asked for another one.

This time I said no. But I want you all to know, telling a picky eater they can't eat more (especially coming from a food lover extraordinaire) made a little bit of me die inside.

Later that night I consoled myself with a bag of Lindt White Chocolate truffles and a cookie shaped like a cow.


Ally said...

Although I'm a fatty, I myself am a picky eater. I don't do any seafood and other than ham or bacon, I hate pork loin and pork chops! I drive my hubs, the chef, nuts!

jerrod said...

i don't like brussel sprouts, liver or hummus. I've also never tried any of it. don't hate me.

Megs said...

She's adorable right now, so she can get away with it. Wait until she's 30 and she's still a picky eater. My husband has a grown cousin who will only eat chicken nuggets, macaroni and cheese, plain hamburgers, and hot dogs. While I like all of these things I can't imagine them being the only things I eat ever. Also it's not cute since she is a freaking grown up.

I don't know how she doesn't die of scurvy or some other disease related to malnutrition.

Bonnie said...

Baaaahahahahaahaha. My grandma used to eat dog food -- the wet kind. I still judge her for that, and she still insists that it tasted better than people food.

I can't say much about picky eaters since I am one of them. Even before the liver disease, which has frighteningly narrowed my selection of food for me to consume, I was a picky eater. I like what I like, and I won't eat what I don't like. I like food to be simple and plain. Anything with too many ingredients freaks me out.

However, thanks to Mr. A, I eat a larger variety of things now than I used to because he, well, forces me to at least try something before I claim not to like it.

Piece of advice: Give her a dog treat each time she tries something new. Positive reinforcement is proven to change behavior.

P.S. I'm never having children. Can you tell?


You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

ALLY- i don't eat pork loin or pork chops either. i think everyone has a handful of items they flat out refuse to eat. btw- your husband is a chef??? :::drool:::

JERROD- i've never tried a brussel sprout either. i wouldn't be opposed to tasting one, but they just don't really look too appetizing. liver is gross. but hummus? you're missing out, bro.

MEGS- MY EX HUSBAND IS ONE OF THOSE ADULT PICKY FUCKING EATERS! macaroni and cheese, plain cheeseburgers, and hot dogs- chicken nuggets didn't even make the cut! let me tell you, it's even more disgusting when it's in your own house, 24 hrs a day.

BONNIE- damn. how did i major in psychology and not think of the dog-treat-positive-reinforcement thing? thank god i have you to be my voice of reason.

jess said...

i am extra, extra EXTRA picky. like, when my mother makes shepherds pie she has to make separate bowls of the ingredients because they can't touch and i won't eat sweet potatoes, or tomatoes, or ham, or ... lots of things.
but i tell people "i have a bland palate" to make me sound fancy :)

StephanieC said...

DUDE! Lindt solves EVERYTHING! Good selection. I am eating that shizz right now.

Also? With you on the hummus. I make my own from scratch and I lived on it for about 3 months, no lies.

At least the treats weren't Milkbones. Those treats actually look like they COULD be people food. Right? RIGHT??

Sara said...

Hahahaha - I'm guilty of trying my dog's treats. Sometimes they really do smell good! They never taste good though - totally lacking salt and sugar! :)

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

JESS- i don't even know where to go with this one.

STEPH- have you ever had the hummus at california pizza kitchen? their hummus is made from white beans and the pita is made from the same dough as their pizza crust. it's making me fucking drool as i type.

SARA- yeah, these treats just smelled like crackers so i figured it was harmless. but i did get a hint of "meaty" which immediately put that snacking to an end.

Erin said...

Dude. I worry about this. Provided my ovaries aren't dead, some day I may have a child, and if that kid will only eat shit like Cheerios 24-7? I might go nuts.

Sara Louise said...

In America and even Dublin, I'd probably be considered to be fairly adventurous eater, but here in France, not at all. Escargot and carpaccio fine, but keep the horse and veal brains away from me!

Brooke said...

She is precious. But I'm with you. Picky eaters drive me nuts. I will pretty much try anything, and I never look at people's food and say "yuck." It's rude. But I'm 28.75, not 4.

I think you did the right thing by letting her try it!

Brooke said...

Oh and don't get me started on my husband. He rarely eats anything unless he cooked it, it comes in a frozen box, a fast food wrapper, or from a restaurant kitchen. Which is just wrong, because we all know your Aunt's tortellini is safer than ANYTHING that comes from a restaurant kitchen. Unless your Aunt is a gross pig.

And let's not get started on veggies. He doesn't eat a single one. Okay, corn. Doesn't even count.

Roxanne and Lorraine said...

I think I'm a good balance. I may be a little picky but I at least try things once so then I can say, "no, I tasted it and it tastes like shit."

Hahhaha. You fed her dog treats. Hahahaha.

Lindt truffles, I think my mouth watered. It's 9:43am but I think I know what I'm having for lunch. Truffles.


Deborah said...

I eat everything! Well, except lima beans and liver.

But everything else! With vigor and enthusiasm. I'm a total fatty.

My hubbins, eats two things: meat and bread. Not lyin'.

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

Here from Studio 30+ !! Glad I found you.

Peter said...

Just dropped by, clicking comments to find new (to me) blogs. I am the opposite of a picky eater, you could not grow up in my Mama's house and be one. My Mama had a stock answer: "eat it, you'll learn to like it." She reinforced that with a backhand quicker'n a striking snake. Obviously I grew up before a mama's backhand was considered anything but something good for a growing boy.

Howsome-ever, that dietary advice has stood me in good stead, I survived the food in the Service, and have been able to eat, happily, in every place I ever traveled.

© Things I Like to Eat (...and Other Nonsense), AllRightsReserved.

Designed by ScreenWritersArena