Yesterday I came across two things that made me laugh harder than I've laughed in a while.
The first one is a website I found on StumbleUpon. The page in question involves a guy who steals his friend's photos from Facebook, slightly alters them, and then places them back online on his own account. This page seriously had me laughing out loud, by myself, in my office. And then again on my drive home. And then again when I got home.
The second is a clip from that horrifying, redneck, disaster of a show, Toddlers and Tiaras. When we first watched this scene, Boyfriend was silent, jaw on the floor. I, on the other hand, immediately burst into a fit of cackles and had to rewind/ rewatch like eight times. And then I recorded it. To share with all of you. Because that's what good friends do.
To those I'm friends with IRL or in my Facebook group: Apologies for the repost. These things were just too good to not share.
Want something easy and fast because if it takes longer than 5 minutes to make you'll probably roid rage out and flip a table over?
Yes!!
Want to avoid going to the store because you have Charlie Manson hair and you're still in your pajamas even though it's 2:48pm, and also because Judge Judy is about to start in 12 minutes?
If you live in the southern California area, you should head up to Camarillo for the Greek Festival this weekend. It's small, but the dancing is fun, the people are friendly, and the food is frighteningly good. And if you need some help deciding what to eat, well that's where I come in.
GYRO: Gyro is actually the name of the meat that is typically served in this pita delight. From what I know, it's a combination of lamb and beef that's been slowly cooked on a rotating spit for a long ass time. As it cooks, the outer layers are sliced off. Add some tomato, lettuce, onion, and tzatziki sauce, and you've got a fucking Greek treasure.
SAGANAKI: Saganaki is basically a flaming cheese. When you order it at a restaurant, the waiter will dazzle your balls off by dousing it with some unknown alcohol and lighting it on fire. Americans love this kind of stuff. When you order it at the Greek festival, it probably won't be on fire because they will be serving it up en masse. But I can guarantee it's still going to taste like the bomb shizzle. If you're a greasy-cheese connoisseur like me, this is right up your alley.
TZATZIKI SAUCE: Greeks use tzatziki sauce like Americans use ketchup. This shit goes with everything. The recipe usually consists of Greek yogurt (there's a difference, trust me), lemon, garlic, cucumber, olive oil, and dill, but it can probably vary depending on who's making it. This sauce really does go with everything, so don't be afraid to dip any of your favorite Greek savories into it.
BAKLAVA: This is the sticky sweet dessert that everyone is familiar with. If you happen to be reading this and you're actually NOT one of my family members, then there's a chance you don't receive a box of this every Christmas and have no idea what it is. Baklava is a dessert made up of crispy phyllo dough, chopped nuts, cinnamon, and lots of syrup. If you're not into ooey, gooey sweets, this might not be the thing for you. But if you're anything like me (lucky you), you're going to want a few for the road.
GALATABOUREKO: This dessert is similar to baklava, only it has custard instead of nuts. It uses phyllo dough and has syrup, but it's not crispy. If you have issues eating softer foods like cooked peaches or cooked mushrooms, you might want to skip this one. But if you like custards, give this lesser known treat a shot.
KOURAMBIETHES: This is the safest route if you're not feeling very adventurous. They're basically airy shortbread cookies, covered in powdered sugar. If you're bringing the kids, these are a surefire crowd pleaser. Just make sure not to inhale as your biting. I've made that mistake more than once.
Lastly, no Greek party would be complete without a beer tent. See? There's something for everyone.
Admission is only $3. And if you go the festival link above, you can even print out free admission vouchers so you can visit my friend, Manolis.
So don't forget this weekend: Drop that zero and get with a gyro.
DISCLAIMER: If any of this information was incorrect, I apologize. It was based on my extensive knowledge of hostessing in a Greek restaurant and eating my way through the entire menu.
THIS JUST IN: Cinnabon is giving away two free bites to every customer that goes into a mall-based Cinnabon TONIGHT BETWEEN 6-8PM.
It might not be worth it to drive out to the mall and deal with parking traffic, but if you're already going to be there, make sure to get your free sugar-coma on.
Or, if you're a parent, buy yourself a full size cinnabon and then make your kids fight over the two bites. That's what I would do.
There are a few things I wanted to cover in my next blog entry, but since none of them are related, I'm just going to throw them all together and acknowlege that there's no cohesive theme here.
1. The Saturday after my birthday was when I received my gift from Boyfriend. He booked a spa day for me (drooooool) with my favorite esthetician-slash-massage lady. It was exactly what I had been hoping and dreaming and wishing for. So much, in fact, that I had even been begging a former spouse of mine for my birthday last year, but he wouldn't get it for me. As you can imagine, I was pretty fucking excited about my spa day since I'd only been looking forward to it for the past 18 months.
I've been going to this particular spa woman for about ten years now and she never fails to deliver the goods. After every visit, I end up walking out feeling like a rubbery pile of relaxation. If you're in the Ventura County area and feel like treating yourself, give her a call. You won't be disappointed.
2. This is officially my first blog birthday. I started this mofo the weekend after my 30th birthday when I realized a) I like to eat a lot, and b) I'm not doing shit with my life, maybe I'll start a blog. One year later and I'm on my 100th post. It's like magic the way that worked out. Also magic? I have 122 readers. Now, I know 122 readers in a 12-month time span is nothing to call Guinness over, but I'm still impressed with myself. I'm super grateful for each and every one of you who take the time out of your busy days to read this booshet. This blog has turned into a huge part of my life and I really feel like you guys read because you're genuinely interested. (And if you're not, that's fine with me too because I'm shameless like that.)
If you like my blog, feel free to tell all your friends about it. AND feel free to join my Facebook group (pleasepleaseplease) if you haven't already. I can't guarantee trumpets and fanfare, but I can promise updates on all of my posts, including ones on Sprocket Ink. And probably also random photos of shit I eat that don't make it to the blog.
3. I'm going to be in a wedding tomorrow. My good friend Kim who I've known since junior high is getting married and I'm one of the two bridesmaids. It's my job to fluff her dress and hold her flowers. I'm most likely going to give a speech. Fingers crossed this shit doesn't get ugly. And by ugly, I mean blackout drunk.
Last Friday was my birthday!!! Yes, my birthday really is on April Fools! And yes, I really am the big old boring 31. Somehow it seems like 30 was more acceptable, like it was still grouped with the 20's, so I was cool with last year's birthday. But I feel like 31 is kind of grouped more with the 40's and I'm feeling old and like my obsession with Judge Judy is all making sense now.
Anyway.
Friday night we had a few friends over for my birthday party. It wasn't anything big because I'm not rich and everyone knows house parties always SEEM cheap, but end up costing $arm and $leg because you wouldn't be caught dead running out of food or drink so you always stock up enough to feed 20x the amount of people actually invited. Originally, I couldn't make up my mind about how I wanted to spend the evening: A nice dinner out with Boyfriend... Inviting a bunch of friends out to the pub... House party... I opted against the private dinner because we can really do that anytime. And I nixed the pub because all of my friends are married avec kids and they can't get sitters and don't have money to blow at the bars (that makes two of us) and act like recluses at the mere mention of going out in public. So all things considered, I was very happy to have a little get together at home.
Since I'm not a fancypants, everything at my party was on the cheap. I purchased Pillsbury Funfetti cupcake mix and frosting and made the cakes myself.
Party hats and plates: Dollar bin at Target.
My favorite decoration of all: The birthday banner that Boyfriend made on the down low.
The party menu consisted of chicken dino-bites, frozen CPK pizzas, chips, veggies and dip. Why? Because I like them.
The night was spent shooting the shit while drinking White Russians, PBR's, and shots of whiskey.
Once everyone was nice and too-liquored-up-to-be-embarrassed, we fired up the ol' Rock Band.
And don't forget the gifts and cake.
The rager lasted into the wee hours of 12:30am. (We're wild. I know.)
I really had SUCH a great time and I'm so grateful for all the cool people in my life- friends, family, bloggers, commenters, etc. I'm really not even joking. Looking back and knowing I was thiiiiiiiis close to canceling my party because I got in a funk Thursday night (thanks for slapping some sense into me, Boyfriend), I'm so glad I didn't.
Happy Birthday to me.
The birthday festivities continued all weekend long, so expect like two more entries about this booshet. For now, I'll leave you with a quick vid from me and Biscuit.
The always sweet and fashion savvy NikosMommy at Fabulous! (Pasta Not Included...) tagged me in a post about My Favorite Things. She must know how much I like to talk about myself.
Let's get this party sharted!
FIVE CURRENT LOVES
1. Topsiders. If you don't know what these are, just imagine the shoes you'd wear sailing your boat around Cape Cod while eating oysters and sporting a cardigan tied over your shoulders. Yep. Those are the ones.
Except I prefer they not be ratty and beat up like my pair above. Um. I'm not sure if you can tell by my quality pic or what, but they're old as hell. And I wear them, like, everyday. I saw a brown pair of Sperry Topsiders at The Rack the other day, and although I'd really prefer the blue pair, saving myself $25 (plus shipping) is totally how I roll. Fingers crossed I get drunk enough this weekend to not care about spending money.
2. Red/ White/ Blue Stripes. I love striped clothing, especially in those colors. If it makes me feel like a wealthy, nautical, yacht-owning person and/or a French mime, I NEED IT. Important Note: NOT to be confused with American flag themed attire.
No,these are not dust rags. They're my actual clothes.
3. Uncrustables. That's right. I'm talking about those circle shaped bites of Heaven that are found in your local freezer section. Listen friends, I don't even LIKE peanut products and I've been eating these every day for the past three weeks straight out of SHEER.ADDICTION.
It's like crack served between two slices of Weber's bread. :::droooool:::
4. My New Tattoo. Okay, so here's the story with the tattoo. The first gift Boyfriend ever gave me was a little keychain character called Poop Dog. I fell in love instantly and it's actually one of the reasons why I think Boyfriend is so great.
With all this recent shit with my health going on, I've realized what a caring and positive support Boyfriend has been. Aaaand since we'd both been wanting to get a tattoo for a while (and wtf am I waiting for already) we decided to get matching tattoos.
What! I know!
It didn't take long for us to decide what we wanted...
I know, I love it too! We're.So.Bad.Ass.
5. Mark Ronson's Bang Bang Bang. I've been obsessed with this song since I first heard it last summer and my love for it still hasn't waned in the slightest.
I'll tell you why I love everything about this song.
-It involves two of my favs: Speaking French and Japanese game shows -Nutella -80's influenced video -It makes my ears drool every time I hear it -Synthesizers -Mark Ronson is a babe-a-rino -I get to put my four years of French to work -Star Tours-like effect with the shooting stars -The whole Ronson family is a little cuckoo and therefore I love them -The girl in the beginning of the video looks like a little TILTE
Enough said.
FIVE QUESTIONS
Favorite Make-up Brand: Well, I'm totally not a brand loyal shopper and I'm really not the best at taking care of my skin. I'd like to say M.A.C. because it brings out my inner drag queen, but I really only have, like, 5 M.A.C items in my whole makeup bag. If we're going to be honest here, I'd probably use colored chalk in my face if I felt I could get away with it.
Favorite Clothing Brand: I don't have a favorite clothing brand either. I like to mix my shit up and shop everywhere. And by everywhere, I mean everywhere that's cheap. I'd say most of my closet consists of thrift store finds, Target, and Forever21. But I'll tell you what I stear clear of- anything with logos or a brand name plastered across it, Uggs, and obviously Ed Hardy. (Obviously.)
Your Indispensable Makeup Product: Lip gloss. It not only brings some life to my shit, it can also double as blush when you're in a pinch. (I know it's a Grandma move, I don't care.) Without that little bit of color on my face, I'm in total crypt-keeper mode.
What Country Would You Like to Visit and Why: (Let the bragging commence...) Wellllll, since I've already been to... France, England, Spain, Italy, the Netherlands, and Greece... I'm going to say I'd like to visit an island resort. Like St. Barts or something. Does that count? I think I'd also like to go to Japan and maybe Argentina.
What is the Last Concert You're Been to: I know this will cause shock and awe amongst you all, but I've never been to a concert. I mean, one time I saw Cake play at a small venue when I went to the Sundance Film Festival, but 1. it was hardly a "concert", and 2. Cake? Seriously?? So... As for concerts I would really love to see, I'm going to say top three would be Air, Ladytron, and Beck.
