Estate Sale.

This past weekend we went to an estate sale. For those of you who've never been, it's basically like walking through someone else's home after they've died and you're rifling through all their prized possessions. Let me rephrase that- it's not LIKE you're rifling through someone's shit after they've died, you ARE rifling through their shit after they died. It's creepy as hell, but sometimes you can get some great finds.

A RAAAAD vintage typewriter. In mint green, no less. I wanted this for decor alone, but their prices were too extravagant for my sad wallet.


A weekend bag. Also perfect for pet items when going on a trip.


A scaryass bathroom. With a sign like that, on a door like that, you better believe I'm NOT going to enter.


A vintage Kitchenaid mixer. In working condition with the original manual. ONLY $20. It was a fucking steal if you ask me, but I already have a Kitchenaid mixer, brand new, that I've never used. (That's right, I mix everything by hand. That's why all my food turns out like shit.)


A "Wedding Night" negligee that can evoke both tears of sadness and tears of the night terror kind. Note the holes throughout the lace. Garter included.


A cool little vanity with mirror. Worth noting: my childhood bedroom had almost the exact same wallpaper. Ours had a touch more lime green in it.


A 7-piece vanity/ dresser set for $80...? Not worth it, IMO.


The pièce de résistance: A giant organ. ("I'll show you a giant organ!") Apparently, the patriarch of the house built this with his own two hands. He was in the process of changing it over from analogue to electric (or something), when he passed away. Sadz.


Remember that giant organ? This wall is filled with 70-something speakers that were connected to it. The owner must have blown the lid off the neighborhood when he felt like getting jiggy with it. I bet his neighbors loved it.


I didn't end up buying anything there. I could have made several purchases based on want alone, but I didn't see anything I actually needed. Maybe next time, estate sale... maybe next time.

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I was Tagged- Stuff I Love.

The always sweet and fashion savvy NikosMommy at Fabulous! (Pasta Not Included...) tagged me in a post about My Favorite Things. She must know how much I like to talk about myself.

Let's get this party sharted!

FIVE CURRENT LOVES

1. Topsiders. If you don't know what these are, just imagine the shoes you'd wear sailing your boat around Cape Cod while eating oysters and sporting a cardigan tied over your shoulders. Yep. Those are the ones.

Except I prefer they not be ratty and beat up like my pair above. Um. I'm not sure if you can tell by my quality pic or what, but they're old as hell. And I wear them, like, everyday. I saw a brown pair of Sperry Topsiders at The Rack the other day, and although I'd really prefer the blue pair, saving myself $25 (plus shipping) is totally how I roll. Fingers crossed I get drunk enough this weekend to not care about spending money.

2. Red/ White/ Blue Stripes. I love striped clothing, especially in those colors. If it makes me feel like a wealthy, nautical, yacht-owning person and/or a French mime, I NEED IT. Important Note: NOT to be confused with American flag themed attire.

No,these are not dust rags. They're my actual clothes.


3. Uncrustables. That's right. I'm talking about those circle shaped bites of Heaven that are found in your local freezer section. Listen friends, I don't even LIKE peanut products and I've been eating these every day for the past three weeks straight out of SHEER.ADDICTION.

It's like crack served between two slices of Weber's bread. :::droooool:::

4. My New Tattoo. Okay, so here's the story with the tattoo. The first gift Boyfriend ever gave me was a little keychain character called Poop Dog. I fell in love instantly and it's actually one of the reasons why I think Boyfriend is so great.

With all this recent shit with my health going on, I've realized what a caring and positive support Boyfriend has been. Aaaand since we'd both been wanting to get a tattoo for a while (and wtf am I waiting for already) we decided to get matching tattoos.

What! I know!

It didn't take long for us to decide what we wanted...

I know, I love it too! We're.So.Bad.Ass.


5. Mark Ronson's Bang Bang Bang. I've been obsessed with this song since I first heard it last summer and my love for it still hasn't waned in the slightest.



Mark Ronson and the Business Intl - Bang Bang Bang on MUZU.

I'll tell you why I love everything about this song.

-It involves two of my favs: Speaking French and Japanese game shows
-Nutella
-80's influenced video
-It makes my ears drool every time I hear it
-Synthesizers
-Mark Ronson is a babe-a-rino
-I get to put my four years of French to work
-Star Tours-like effect with the shooting stars
-The whole Ronson family is a little cuckoo and therefore I love them
-The girl in the beginning of the video looks like a little TILTE

Enough said.

FIVE QUESTIONS

Favorite Make-up Brand: Well, I'm totally not a brand loyal shopper and I'm really not the best at taking care of my skin. I'd like to say M.A.C. because it brings out my inner drag queen, but I really only have, like, 5 M.A.C items in my whole makeup bag. If we're going to be honest here, I'd probably use colored chalk in my face if I felt I could get away with it.

Favorite Clothing Brand: I don't have a favorite clothing brand either. I like to mix my shit up and shop everywhere. And by everywhere, I mean everywhere that's cheap. I'd say most of my closet consists of thrift store finds, Target, and Forever21. But I'll tell you what I stear clear of- anything with logos or a brand name plastered across it, Uggs, and obviously Ed Hardy. (Obviously.)

Your Indispensable Makeup Product: Lip gloss. It not only brings some life to my shit, it can also double as blush when you're in a pinch. (I know it's a Grandma move, I don't care.) Without that little bit of color on my face, I'm in total crypt-keeper mode.

What Country Would You Like to Visit and Why: (Let the bragging commence...) Wellllll, since I've already been to... France, England, Spain, Italy, the Netherlands, and Greece... I'm going to say I'd like to visit an island resort. Like St. Barts or something. Does that count? I think I'd also like to go to Japan and maybe Argentina.

What is the Last Concert You're Been to: I know this will cause shock and awe amongst you all, but I've never been to a concert. I mean, one time I saw Cake play at a small venue when I went to the Sundance Film Festival, but 1. it was hardly a "concert", and 2. Cake? Seriously?? So... As for concerts I would really love to see, I'm going to say top three would be Air, Ladytron, and Beck.

Alright ladies- tag, you're it.

Stephanie C @ Seriously??... Reeeally?... Seriously?

Bonnie @ Glam Kitten's Litter Box

Coyote Rose @ Dancing on the Bar of Life

Lorraine @ Late to the Party

Kara @ Sunshine Cupcakes

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Farmer's Market

The Farmer's Market does not get enough cred these days. Let me rephrase that. I'm sure it does from people who are used to eating healthy, and avoiding pestacides, and yadda yadda yadda, but I mean, from me, it does NOT get enough cred. So I made a trip this past weekend to my local FM. And let me tell you friends... Those farmers got me: Hook. Line. Sinker.

"Who was the vendor that turned you into a FM lover, TILTE???"

The vendor that sold this:

And this:

That's right. The butter and cheese dealer. She had a wide array of cheeses to choose from AND samples of them all. I originally asked for a sample of "This one..." :::pointing to a block of "unknown cheese"::: to which she informed me "That's butter." I played dumb, but we all know I would have really taken that sample if she'd had it on hand. I ended up purchasing a cuckoo looking mess of Mozzarella cheese (the one on the lower left in the butter picture), and because it was an end piece and the plastic wrap made it look like wall puddy, I got it for a bargain price. Great deal.

The next thing I spotted that sealed the deal on my love for the FM did not fall into any of my food group categories (Dairy, Carbs, Pie). It actually wasn't an edible item at all. It was this duo of violin-playing child hipster prodigies.

They rendered me immobile from the minute I laid my dreamy bedroom eyes on them. Not only do I want my future imaginary offspring to be this incredibly rad, I want to be this incredibly rad. These two played song after song, looking cool and hip and not at all stressed over busting strings (or nearby wine glasses) like I imagine I would.

From here, I moved over to the usual FM items, like fruits and veg.

I don't even know if this is a good price on green beans because we all know I never buy anything healthy. But they looked good to me.

"Rabbit carrots".

A GIANT peach I bought. I had fingers-crossed that its size/ weight was based on the delicious, peachy juicyness inside. In reality, that wasn't the case. But it was still good. Especially when served with fresh mozzarella and Ritz crackers. :::healthy, organic, pesticide-free drool:::

Straight from the home of The Strawberry Festival.

Lastly, every FM needs to have beautiful plants. This one in particular was roughly three feet tall, had several large flowers fully bloomed, and was only $10. Srsly, folks. This same plant would probably be closer to like $1,000 at your local Home Depot or Lowe's. (I've cruised the landscape aisles before. I know what plants go for these days.) This plant was a total bargain. Too bad I don't have a place of my own, much less a welcoming garden, to put it in. :::One day, giant dahlias:::

There was one vendor stall that I had to pass on ONLY because I'd ran out of moola. The fresh baked goods vendor. Ughhhh... I know, I'm almost embarassed to admit that I passed that gem up, but I have full intentions to hit that bitch up next time. From what I let my eyes catch a glimpse of, it looked like they were selling pies, cookies, baguettes, muffins, and sweet breads (and I literally mean SWEET BREADS, not that nasty booshet they CALL "Sweet Breads").

I'll keep you posted on my next visit. For now- SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL FARMER. (I think that's what I'm supposed to say. I'm so organic now.)

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I'm Alllllll Over This

WTF is this, right? I saw it in an office the other day and the woman who was using said "Oh- did you see me bouncing around on my chair??"

BOUNCING.AROUND.ON.MY CHAIR.

No, I hadn't. But I was instantly intrigued.

She went on to explain that she's a trained dancer and is trying a bunch of techniques to get back in shape. This chair is supposed to help your "core".

Well, if anyone knows me, they know how serious I am about training my core.

I WANT this chair.

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Weekend Recap!

So, lately I've been kinda down in the dumps. Rawnie decided to come check on me yesterday to make sure I wasn't on the verge of suicide* (*cutting my hair and/or going on a diet) and we ended up making a day of it like old bestie times.

We ended up going to downtown Ventura so I could relive my youth in the thrift stores. After grabbing a torta and liquado at the always delicious Taqueria Vallarta (go with the Vallarta Special, TRUST.ME.ON.THIS), we headed to the Coalition Thrift Store. This is where we spent most of our day.

It's been a long time since I really enjoyed a good thrift storing session. I used to LIVE in these mothball/ homeless man/ Jean Nate scented huts when I was in high school and I really love finding old thrown-away nonsense and turning it into my own special, badass piece of magic.

I'm kind of torn on how I feel about yesterday's visit. I found LOTS of great items that I would have happily snatched up in my greedy little "Oh you're looking at something I'm holding...??? Well. Now I'm definitely buying it." paws. Except in the years since my last visit, apparently thrift store pricing has gone through the mutha fuggin roof and it is now totally appropriate to overprice these donated charitable items. Do NOT get me started on the part the hipster craze has played in all this unless you want me to spit hate all over this blog.

Anyway, here are some highlights from the Coalition...

A beautiful "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" petticoat that is ALWAYS good to have on hand because you never know when that pesky 80's party/ ballet recital/ square dancing competition is going to pop up. I had my eye on this... but not for $37.

Always great for starting your own Kenny Roger's Roasters chain. At $9.99, this was a total steal assuming it works. I would have bought this, but I already own a real oven, convection oven, and microwave oven. And we all know just how much I use all three of those.

Speaking of real oven, feast your eyes on this. This stove was pretty rad in all meanings of the word. The inside of the door even had cooking times for various meals. I don't know how practical this stove would really be, but I mean, seriously... Who even uses these things nowadays...? And for $500? C'mon...

A Betsy Johnson prom dress for only $39! Another great find for next year's winter formal, which, btw I'm totes already planning for.


Rawnie spotted this coat probably as a joke, but it ended up looking pretty fucking dreamy on me. The only downside were the fur cuffs- they were super heavy and stiff, which does seem pretty gross now that I'm thinking about it... Oh yeah, and the price was a bummer too. $50.


Another solid pimp coat choice. This one was saying "Lookin' good, FoxyBrown!" in the front. But was also simultaneously saying "Holy shit, Kool-Aid man, ease up on the bench presses!" in the back. My Joe Namath shoulders nearly sent the threads flying when I hulked out in this leather lovely. I'm pretty sure this one was in the $50 range as well.


This is where my dreams turned into nightmares. This bike was SCREAMING my name. It called to me from the parking lot, it begged me to take it home. It was like God wanted me to have this bike. Except God didn't let the coalition know and they assidentally wrote "$189" on its sticker. Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiss. I know this bike won't last more than 2 days at this store and I'm even debating whether or not I should have shared this discovery with the general public.

After sifting through the stinky goodness, I ended up going with two decorative plates and a new lampshade, both for my room.

From the thrift store, we made our way over to a cute little (again, overpriced) boutique shop. They had the stupidest, most assholey looking sunglasses in their doorway and, like moths to a flame, Rawnie and I were sucked in.

These are the glasses Rawnie wears when she wants to be taken seriously on the poker circuit. (Nobody has a chance against these badboys- I'm talking to you, Phil Helmuth.)

I look like Cheech and Chong's illegitimate lovechild.

Our day ended not long after this photo because my torta/ liquado combo kicked into high gear and I turned into Rob Zombie and needed a nap ASAP.

I will leave you with a pic of my nephew, Hogan, who I just hung out with today. He is happy in this picture because I let him get away with saying naughty things like "blood" and "fart" and "knuckle sandwich".

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