My Acting Credits.

I have nothing to share on the food front.

Instead, I'm going to tell you about my short-lived career in the show biz industry.

When I was in high school, I got really into the whole acting thing. And by "really into the whole acting thing", I mean I had mega crushes on famous dudes and was sure that acting was my ticket to stardom. Even though my family was dirt poor, my mom managed to save up enough scrilla to get me in acting classes. I started off with a weekly children's acting class taught by a former "stage dad". I don't know how much I really "learned" in that class, but I know it made me feel less like an awkward, self conscious weirdo. Also, I do remember one nugget of wisdom he taught us: "Scenes with no dialogue are much harder than scenes with dialogue. Work on conveying emotion without using words."

Soon after that class ended, I signed up for another class with one of those "We'll Make Your Kid a Star!" agencies. You know the ones. They usually advertise in the local paper and set up shop in an executive suite. And they have a line out the door of ugly brats whose parents swear they're the next Mary-Kate and Ashley.

Yep, that's where I went. But to clear my name (if possible), I wasn't going because I thought I was hot shit. I was going to take acting courses.

So, I took a few classes there at the knock-off agency. We practiced improv and working in front of the camera. I don't remember anything remarkable from this place and now I'm beginning to question their true intentions...

Anyway, when I was around 18, I got my first paid acting job. I wasn't the starring role or anything. But I was just as important. Because everyone knows Extras totally make the scene. The job was a TV show pilot that was to air on the WB channel. I was instructed to be at Warner Ranch by 7:30am and bring "party" clothes.

I arrived on time. Which was a fucking miracle because it's nearly impossible for me to be anywhere on time, much less somewhere that involves LA rush hour traffic. I spent the day with a herd of about 100 other kids hanging out on the WB lot. It was boring as hell because apparently actors mess up their lines a lot. And if there's one little tiny thing that's off with the set/ film/ cast, they cut that shit and start all over.

Things got really unfortunate when it started to rain. They moved our herd into one of the empty houses on the neighborhood lot (it was actually the house from Lethal Weapon). But that wasn't really any better because these houses are set houses, you see. And they don't have furniture or heating or walls or fucking ANYTHING inside them. We were like well-dressed squatters.

So the main scene I was in was at a house party. I was with a group of people in the backyard and we were supposed to silently mime and silently laugh and silently drink non-existent booze like we were really at a party. In reality, it was just awkward and totally unnatural. The day finally ended around 7pm and I was stoked because as a non-union extra you make a set amount of money for the first 8 hours of work, and then anything over that is overtime. My favorite part about this job? Craft Services.

By the way- that show? Got pulled before it even aired.

My next job was through my friend Jessy, who's stepdad was a fairly popular make-up artist in the industry. It was on a Showtime series called Resurrection Blvd. It was a mostly Latino cast and the show was about Latinos living in LA. Jessy and I were in a few scenes- the day time one was at a park. Nothing exciting. But the night time one was set in a dance club and we were told to wear "sexy club" clothing. I wore a tight, red, leopard print cocktail dress (because I'm ghetto and tacky like that). And seeing as how this was a "sexy club" environment, I even busted out the big guns: My clip-on fall. Because apparently nothing says "Latina" like a leopard print dress and big hair. (What. It was the 90's, okay.)

This job was even more difficult and awkward than the last because in the "club" we were instructed to "dance to music". Only there was no music. Because then the mic's wouldn't be able to pick up the actor's voices. So me and my clip-on fall and some random dude pretended to salsa dance. Without making a sound. And without music.

There wasn't too much I learned from this job other than not to date Production Assistants. Especially if they're ten years older. Because it's just creepy.

After that job, I pretty much hung up my acting boots and decided to retire. I figured I wasn't cut out for something that takes that much effort and patience. I was never going to make it to mega-stardom, or be in a music video.

Or was I...?

Flash forward to last year. My friend Danielle and I went to a bowling/ karaoke get-together thrown by her friends Ming and Ping.

It was officially the first time I'd met them, but Danielle had shown me their website and some YouTube videos. This was basically a recipe for me to get super nervous and make an asshole out of myself.

Which obviously happened.

But the great thing about it was, everyone was pretty drunk and having a great time and nobody made any comments about me acting like a leper with Tourettes. And to top it all off, Ming and Ping used film footage from that night's events for their next music video, Bridge and Tunnel Music.

And guess who made it into the video!

I DID, THAT'S MUTHAFUCKIN WHO!

So, it looks like my big dreams came true afterall. It's probably because of all those acting classes I took. Or maybe it's just my natural talent.

Also, did you watch the Ming and Ping video? Were you able to spot me??? I have a few quick appearances, as do my dancing feet. FYI: Most of the people in the video are Asian. So what I'm trying to say is, it's basically like playing my own personal version of Where's Waldo.

So that's the story of how I got über famous.

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I was Tagged- Stuff I Love.

The always sweet and fashion savvy NikosMommy at Fabulous! (Pasta Not Included...) tagged me in a post about My Favorite Things. She must know how much I like to talk about myself.

Let's get this party sharted!

FIVE CURRENT LOVES

1. Topsiders. If you don't know what these are, just imagine the shoes you'd wear sailing your boat around Cape Cod while eating oysters and sporting a cardigan tied over your shoulders. Yep. Those are the ones.

Except I prefer they not be ratty and beat up like my pair above. Um. I'm not sure if you can tell by my quality pic or what, but they're old as hell. And I wear them, like, everyday. I saw a brown pair of Sperry Topsiders at The Rack the other day, and although I'd really prefer the blue pair, saving myself $25 (plus shipping) is totally how I roll. Fingers crossed I get drunk enough this weekend to not care about spending money.

2. Red/ White/ Blue Stripes. I love striped clothing, especially in those colors. If it makes me feel like a wealthy, nautical, yacht-owning person and/or a French mime, I NEED IT. Important Note: NOT to be confused with American flag themed attire.

No,these are not dust rags. They're my actual clothes.


3. Uncrustables. That's right. I'm talking about those circle shaped bites of Heaven that are found in your local freezer section. Listen friends, I don't even LIKE peanut products and I've been eating these every day for the past three weeks straight out of SHEER.ADDICTION.

It's like crack served between two slices of Weber's bread. :::droooool:::

4. My New Tattoo. Okay, so here's the story with the tattoo. The first gift Boyfriend ever gave me was a little keychain character called Poop Dog. I fell in love instantly and it's actually one of the reasons why I think Boyfriend is so great.

With all this recent shit with my health going on, I've realized what a caring and positive support Boyfriend has been. Aaaand since we'd both been wanting to get a tattoo for a while (and wtf am I waiting for already) we decided to get matching tattoos.

What! I know!

It didn't take long for us to decide what we wanted...

I know, I love it too! We're.So.Bad.Ass.


5. Mark Ronson's Bang Bang Bang. I've been obsessed with this song since I first heard it last summer and my love for it still hasn't waned in the slightest.



Mark Ronson and the Business Intl - Bang Bang Bang on MUZU.

I'll tell you why I love everything about this song.

-It involves two of my favs: Speaking French and Japanese game shows
-Nutella
-80's influenced video
-It makes my ears drool every time I hear it
-Synthesizers
-Mark Ronson is a babe-a-rino
-I get to put my four years of French to work
-Star Tours-like effect with the shooting stars
-The whole Ronson family is a little cuckoo and therefore I love them
-The girl in the beginning of the video looks like a little TILTE

Enough said.

FIVE QUESTIONS

Favorite Make-up Brand: Well, I'm totally not a brand loyal shopper and I'm really not the best at taking care of my skin. I'd like to say M.A.C. because it brings out my inner drag queen, but I really only have, like, 5 M.A.C items in my whole makeup bag. If we're going to be honest here, I'd probably use colored chalk in my face if I felt I could get away with it.

Favorite Clothing Brand: I don't have a favorite clothing brand either. I like to mix my shit up and shop everywhere. And by everywhere, I mean everywhere that's cheap. I'd say most of my closet consists of thrift store finds, Target, and Forever21. But I'll tell you what I stear clear of- anything with logos or a brand name plastered across it, Uggs, and obviously Ed Hardy. (Obviously.)

Your Indispensable Makeup Product: Lip gloss. It not only brings some life to my shit, it can also double as blush when you're in a pinch. (I know it's a Grandma move, I don't care.) Without that little bit of color on my face, I'm in total crypt-keeper mode.

What Country Would You Like to Visit and Why: (Let the bragging commence...) Wellllll, since I've already been to... France, England, Spain, Italy, the Netherlands, and Greece... I'm going to say I'd like to visit an island resort. Like St. Barts or something. Does that count? I think I'd also like to go to Japan and maybe Argentina.

What is the Last Concert You're Been to: I know this will cause shock and awe amongst you all, but I've never been to a concert. I mean, one time I saw Cake play at a small venue when I went to the Sundance Film Festival, but 1. it was hardly a "concert", and 2. Cake? Seriously?? So... As for concerts I would really love to see, I'm going to say top three would be Air, Ladytron, and Beck.

Alright ladies- tag, you're it.

Stephanie C @ Seriously??... Reeeally?... Seriously?

Bonnie @ Glam Kitten's Litter Box

Coyote Rose @ Dancing on the Bar of Life

Lorraine @ Late to the Party

Kara @ Sunshine Cupcakes

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Alright, I'm Back to Talking About Food. Also Known as: No More Butt Talk.

Before we get to the real deal Holyfield...

Remember that social networking/ blogging site I told you about, Studio30Plus?? They asked me to be a guest writer for their blog magazine. (Looks like all those colonoscopies are finally paying off, amirite??) Check it out here.

As I was saying...

I'm sure I've bragged mentioned it before, but I spent a short time living in London a few years back. It was through the Bunac program and although it was hard being away from all my friends and family, it was a GREAT experience. I met some really cool people that I'm still friends with today (and one not so cool person who won't lose my number- Michael, I'm talking to you) and we usually meet up a few times a year.

Since we all became spoiled when it comes to tea (Thank you Savoy and Ritz Carlton), we always meet up for an Afternoon Tea. This time we tried a tea room we've never been to before: Royal-T in Culver City.

This place has an industrial feel to it- raised ceilings, exposed ductwork, cement flooring. The front section is more like an art studio-slash-gift shop. This area alone gives Royal-T some major street cred.

The view when you first walk in.

In the art studio area...


A section devoted to everything Barbie. :::Droooooool:::


Mini chandeliers.


My FAVORITE item in the shop: The Little Wanderer by Yoshitomo Nara. It has wheels underneath and when you drag it backwards, it winds up and wobbles across the floor. :::Mega drooooools:::

Some art pieces on the way to the dining area.

The crowning glory at Royal-T???

All the waitresses are super Asian (and by "super Asian", I mean beautiful and courteous and have tiny voices). Their uniforms look like Alice in Wonderland had a baby with Flo from Mel's Diner and that baby decided to move into Anime land. These girls are seriously cute and immediately I pretended I was super Asian just like them.

Royal-T offer about 10-12 teas to choose from. I ordered their namesake, the Royal Tea, which was basically a sweetened black tea steeped in milk.

I've never been a plain tea/ plain coffee drinker, so I had a feeling I was going to like this little diddy. Well let me tell you, my tea was fucking delightful. I ended up drinking nearly the whole pot by the end of my visit. Now, if you're not one for cream and sugar and bells and whistles, this may not be the right one for you. But if you're like me and try to make everything taste like candy, this drink is the perfect choice.

The High Tea (This is totally a misnomer based on some quick internet research I conducted. It should definitely be called the Afternoon Tea.) consisted of four finger sandwiches, a slider, and some mini desserts. I substituted an extra egg salad and curry chicken salad sandwiches instead of the lox and seared tuna because those raw fishes make me nervous. I wasn't crazy about the curry chicken mostly because I didn't know ahead of time it was going to be a CURRY chicken salad (the waitress only called it "chicken salad"). And the egg salad wasn't much better- it had almost no flavor at all. BUT! The kobe slider was SO good, it almost completely made up for the duds in the sandwich department.

The portions seemed tiny. Surprisingly though, they got the job done and I didn't even eat all of my meal.

One of the desserts was this brown spongey thing. I had a few bites and really liked it. My mouth couldn't put it's finger on where I knew the flavor from, but I still knew that I liked it. My friend Tricia said it was a Green Tea Flan. Hm. Interesting. Not something I would have ordered on my own, but it was good nonetheless.

(I have lazy eyeballs. I already know.)

On our way out, we spotted an exhibit based on Warhol photos.



Guests were encouraged to go into the photobooth, attach one of their photos from their photobooth strip to an index card, and clip onto a prehung string for all future patrons to see. Well, since the camera loves me (naturally), we were all over that shit.

Ta-da!

Also important to note: Royal-T is available as a rental space. (Click here and watch the video to see what this place is really about.). If anyone plans on throwing a party here, I'm totally available.

Overall, a great experience at Royal-T, but mostly because of the art scene and novelty of coolness. I would give this place 3.5 out of 5 chins.

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Domo Arigato.

I'm suing for using my likeness.




If you want the full story, go here.

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Summer Recap! (Holy Molies, Save This For When You Have a Wiiiiide Open Schedule)

I'm a lazy blogger and I've decided to make this entry an all-out photo fest recap. I know... Nothing of real value will be typed from here on out (as opposed to all my other entries, which are always chock full o' hilarious, wild, informative anecdotes about absolutely nothing).

Ughhhh, I HateHateHate that summer has come and gone already. I'm not even close to accepting the idea that I have to pack up my Hawaiian Tropic canceroil, close the tab on my Sangria boozefest, and wake up from my big dreams of roadtrips up and down the California coast. Don't get me wrong. Fall is a cool season too, but I've just had so many noteable things going on this summer that I'm not really looking forward to letting it go. These last few months have been busier than ever and hopefully these pictures will keep you up to date on what's been going in the wonderful world of TILTE. Some of the pix you may or may not have already seen. Just go with it and pretend like they're just as earth-shattering now as they were the first time around.

Let's get this party sharted.

Biscuit LOVES the pool. She will dive right in at the drop of a hat and took full advantage of having a pool in the roasting hot San Fernando Valley.

Kosmo, on the other hand, has seen better days. I still haven't found the backyard lawn hooligan who did this, but Kosmo's feeling back to normal and doesn't even care that he has 12 staples in his side. He hears they're all the rage in Milan this season.

My rad little house with the rad little pool? Gone. That's what happens when you get a divorce. Apologies for never planning a Bloggers Gone Wild Pool Party. Maybe my mom will let me invite some friends over for root beer floats instead. But probably not, so don't hold your breath.

College roommates. :::Cue Peaches & Herb's Reunited::: These kinds of things need to happen more often.

Big time family reunion. I'm talking family members from near and far, united around one blessed tri tip and enjoying each others company. That's how it works with family- when you only get together once every 15 years, it's totally acceptable to have a good time. It's only the mofos you see every other weekend that you want to strangle.

The county fair. Guaranteed fun as long as you're cool with spending arms and legs for a corndog and some funnel cake. Also, watch out for the animals in the petting zoo- they're starving and will eat your face off. They don't even care how many times you tell them that silk shirts should not be chewed on, they will chew them anyway.







Another roommate reunion. This time it was with Orla, my flatmate from good old Londontown. She, her sister Tanya, and their boyfriends came out for two weeks and partied it up, Brits-on-holiday style. I met up with them on their last night here in LA and we had dinner at Bubbles Gump. I'd never been there before and didn't think I would be too dazzled because 1. I'm not really into the shrimps and 2. I don't think Forest Gump is a particularly appealing interior decor style. Alas, Bubbles proved me wrong. I ended up ordering the Pear and Berry Salad, Original Sweet Tea Cooler, and Mama's Best Strawberry Shortcake. THEY.WERE.ALL.DEELISHUS. Swearsies. The salad was good because it didn't have all that boring salad shit, like lettuce, in it- there were lots of fruits, feta cheese, and candied nuts. Mmm... just the way I like my salads. The Original Sweet Tea Cooler was a FAB drink that's super easy to make at home (Sweet Tea infused vodka and lemonade) and tastes JUST like an Arnold Palmer. And the strawberry shortcake was off the chizzain and I've been dreaming of it ever since. B. Gump, you get 4 chins.

Living near the beach again has its perks.









Tea Time with the Bunacers. Since we all lived in London, we got majorly spoiled on teas and scones and now we make it a point to enjoy these finer things in life as often as possible. We always stick with the Chado Tea Rooms, but this time we tried a new location, the Japanese American National Museum. The Afternoon Tea is a MUST have for anyone who's even thinking of being in the LA area- four finger sandwiches, scone with cream and strawberries, dessert, and your choice of tea from the huge 200 tea selection. There are pros and cons for each Chado location, which I will have to save for a later date, but all Chados are goooood Chados.

The summer was rounded out with an amazing wedding celebration at Shutters in Santa Monica. The couple's handwritten vows were so beautiful, even I (with my stone cold dead-behind-the-eyes heart) got a case of the watery eyeballs. The venue was perfect AND, as if they hadn't spoiled their guests enough, they had every wedding-goers dream come true: An Open Bar. To that, I say- Cheers Mr. and Mrs. Duke.

That pretty much sums up my crazy hectic summer. I know, this whole blog thing has propelled me into super stardom and my days will forever be filled with special appearances and I need to get used to it already. So, when I take a brief hiatus here and there, you guys all know why. It's because I'm totally making cameos with my celebuds, Paris and Lilo. Either that, or I'm taking a nap.

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