As Close as I'll Get to Homemade Tortillas.

Every time I go to the grocery store, I see this package of Tortilla Land Uncooked Tortillas* that practically throw themselves off the shelf at me. I've managed to stay strong for the past year and half. Last week, I buckled. As far as meals, I didn't really have anything in mind for them. Aside from my favorite childhood snack- tortilla wrapped around a stick of butter. . . . . . true story. So. Tonight, Boyfriend and I decided to make tostadas. WITH OUR HOMEMADE TORTILLAS. !!!!! So, heres how the tortillas went down. Fresh...

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It's Always Fun Discovering Photos of Yourself That You Don't Even Remember Taking.

I'm sitting at the computer right now, uploading a picture to Facebook. Boyfriend comes up and plugs in his camera to upload some recent photos. When he plugs in the camera, there's a brief flash of the previous photo import. I notice what looks like someone in a hospital gown. TILTE: "What was that? It looked like someone in a hospital gown." Boyfriend: "Yeah, that was you." TILTE: "No, really." Boyfriend: "I'm serious. I took those at your colonoscopy." TILTE: "No, you didn't." Boyfriend (laughing): "Yes, I did! I asked you if you...

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...And Then Something Good Happened.

As some of you (who follow me on Facebook) may or may not know, I had another colonoscopy recently. It was something I was not looking forward to because not eating solid food for 24 hours straight puts me on the same level of incoherent insanity as a sister wife. However, it was something I actually was looking forward to as well. The results of my colonoscopy would give us a better idea on how my health had improved or deteriorated. And it would be one step closer to the impending surgery that's been begging to be scheduled. Anyway. Last...

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Sausagefest. Literally.

This past Memorial Day, we decided to throw an impromptu barbeque. Instead of doing the same old burgers thing, we went for an all-sausage menu: Italian sausage, bratwurst, kielbasa, and hot dogs for the kids. Biscuit was ready at all times to catch any wieners on the loose. We invited a couple of friends over and spent the evening relaxing around the grill. The peppers were a great addition and added that certain je ne sais quoi. (I'm sure that's French for vegetable.) Boyfriend had the fucking INGENIOUS idea...

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I'm Tired.

I'm tired of being exhausted. I'm tired of hurting when I sit. I'm tired of hurting when I stand. I'm tired of needing to be near a bathroom at all times. I'm tired of spending half of the day on the toilet. I'm tired of not being able to make plans because I don't know how I'm going to feel. I'm tired of making plans and then having them ruined. I'm tired of colonoscopies that make my guts feel like I did a thousand sit-ups. I'm tired of shitting my intestines out. I'm tired of calling in sick. I'm tired of spending money on medical bills. I'm tired of back aches. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of people not knowing. I'm...

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Pearl's First Trip to Disneyland: The FINAL Installment

Ok, I'm sure most of you have to be thinking "Fuck, MORE Disneyland pictures?? How many pictures can you take in one day????" Joke's on you. I can take dozens of pictures of a fast food burger alone (just check my iPhone), so imagine the possibilities at a theme park!!! TUESDAY We decided to skip breakfast and take our time getting down to the park. Vicki and her family headed to Downtown Disney while Pearl watched cartoons (and I may or may not have straightened my hair). Just before entering the park, Pearl snapped this beaut....

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