6.06.2012

I'm Tired.

I'm tired of being exhausted.
I'm tired of hurting when I sit.
I'm tired of hurting when I stand.
I'm tired of needing to be near a bathroom at all times.
I'm tired of spending half of the day on the toilet.
I'm tired of not being able to make plans because I don't know how I'm going to feel.
I'm tired of making plans and then having them ruined.
I'm tired of colonoscopies that make my guts feel like I did a thousand sit-ups.
I'm tired of shitting my intestines out.
I'm tired of calling in sick.
I'm tired of spending money on medical bills.
I'm tired of back aches.
I'm tired of crying.
I'm tired of people not knowing.
I'm tired of people acting like it's not a big deal.
I'm tired of trying and still not achieving.
I'm tired of having so many doctors I can't keep them straight.
I'm tired of taking pain relievers every three hours.
I'm tired of not having an appetite even though I know I'm hungry.
I'm tired of hearing "oncology" and "bowel resectioning".
I'm tired of describing a gut-wrenching pain that has no comparison.
I'm tired of waiting to feel better.

I'm tired of endometriosis.

12 comments:

The Six-Fingered Monkey said...

:(

Sending good thoughts, for what its worth.

Erin said...

Sweet girl, I'm so sorry. I'm on your side.

abbyhasissues.com said...

I'm so sorry, my friend. I went through my own "situation" a few years ago and let me tell you, people who think colonoscopies or talking about bowels is only for old people can go fly a kite. It happens, and it sucks because when you feel like shit, the rest of the world is shitty as well.

I hope you figure things out. Until then, healing thoughts are sent your way.

Michon said...

I hate this for you!! Hugs.

Mandy_Fish said...

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this! That's terrible. Here's some positive vibes being sent your way so that you'll feel better or get healed somehow, someway.

the Tsaritsa said...

*hugs* I am sorry to hear that you are in pain, but I'm doing my best to send magic happy vibrations over to where you are, on the winged backs on pegasi.

Nikosmommy said...

Hugs and a quick prayer that you"ll stay strong through all this pain...hang in there little mama!! :))))

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Seriously, fuck that noise. You need to kick that thing's ass once and for all.

FEEL BETTER MISS DUDE.

aki! said...

Awww. That's really so so so so so awful. I hope your doctors figure something out.

In the meantime, I passed on the blogger appreciation award to you. It know it doesn't help you with physical pain, but maybe it can brighten your day.

Logical Libby said...

I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I wish I could cast your uterine demons right down to hell!

Simone Says... said...

Dearest Dear,

Sending you SO much love and hugs right now. Remember you are not alone, and many people love you and would do anything to help you.

Here's my shoulder...

xoxo simone

Wombat Central said...

Oh, honey. I'm so sorry your days are like this. I don't know much about the condition, but I see from your description that if affects your everything. I hope they find a non-invasive answer for you. Hugs.

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