Thank you again for everyone who wrote in. I received enough questions to make a 48 minute video, so instead of answering them all, I tried to answer at least one from each person. -With the exception of Simone's "how many licks/tootsie pop question" (I'm SO sorry, I don't even know how it's possible that I overlooked that. But to answer your question, I have no idea.) -And I also missed Allison's question because it came in after the video was all filmed and done. (Allison- if I was on American Idol, DWTS, and Jeopardy, I would be most likely to win at Jeopardy. In fact, I would blow Alex Trebek's brains off with my extensive knowledge of "Before and After" and "Potpourri".)
Here it is. My crowning glory.
I hope you enjoyed it as much as I do. If you didn't, I don't even know why we're friends.
We're down to the last few days to submit questions/ topics for my video blog- THANK YOU so much to the people who already submitted! Any last minute stragglers, you have all day today to come up with some real doozies.
I understand some of you MAY be shy, what with my celeb status and shit. But trust me, I'm totally not a big deal (unless you count those times I hung out with Paris Hilton and Cesar Milan). We're all friends here, right? Right...??
Or maybe you just don't know what to ask. In which case, I've come up with some ideas to help get your creative juices flowing:
Hey TILTE- What's it like working in a dental office?
Hey TILTE- What are your tips for raising a friendly and loving puppy??
-OR-
Hey TILTE- Why the fuck did you take hot pink capris when you went backpacking in Europe???
I did a little updating and added some new features on my blog. Feel free to give me a "Digg" or "Like" on any entries that catch your eye. And don't be discouraged by the fact that all your friends will know what kind of mindless drivel you like reading. They're probably into stuff that's way more embarrassing anyway (I'm looking at you, people-who-watch-The-Tyra-Banks-show).
Believe me when I tell you the most unbelievable thing happened Saturday night. -Which was quickly followed by the next most unbelievable thing.
I received a friend request on Facebook from a CELEB! -And by celeb, I really mean pseudo celeb. But he gets paid to be on TV, so that's all that matters to me.
Some background info: I MAY be a little obsessed with Current TV. (I use the word "obsessed" loosely. This is actually nothing like my obsession with Sour Cream and Onion Pringles.) The person who friend requested me happens to be one of the main Current TV personalities: Ben Hoffman. So when I saw his picture pop up as wanting to be friends with me, I nearly diarrhea'd all over my computer. I mean, if we're going to be honest here, I wasn't really THAT surprised that he wanted to be friends with me seeing as how worldly and clever I am. So naturally, I accepted.
I immediately clicked on his wall to see if this was the real deal Holyfield. And it was. It was not a fan page or a group page or any of that shit. Ben Hoffman and I were about to be fucking besties.
I imagined all the comically genius insults that were about to go flying. I would make fun of his hat. He would make fun of my mustache. It would be great. So I started the new-friend banter by going to his wall, where it says "Ben Hoffman and TILTE are now friends" and adding the comment "La-la-la-LIKE!" I then patted myself on the back because if there's anything that's funny, it's liking your own comment.
Well friends, this is where things got ugly.
Not five minutes later, WE.WERE.NO.LONGER.FRIENDS.
I know. I'm just as shocked as you.
I thought it MUST be a computer glitch- The Hoffster and I were like THIS. I refreshed my page 500 times and each time, we were STILL no longer friends. I was a little bit in shock and awe over the whole episode, but actually managed to shrug it off because he's a TV personality and that's one of the perks of being famous: "Let's be friends!" :::lurk lurk lurk::: UNFRIEND.
But then this morning, it all came back to me and I realized Ben Hoffman and I should totally be friends. So I sent him the following message:
"My name's TILTE and we were friends once, remember? I know we had our ups and downs, but I say let bygones be bygones and let's start this party train over again, shall we?
We can totally forget about that time I commented "La-la-la-LIKE" on our friendship status. That was sofa king lame.
Your friend, TILTE"
If this doesn't win him over, I don't know what will. (Ben- if you're reading this, we're still cool, right...?)
Everyone has a list songs that they're either embarrassed to like or should be embarrassed to like. Don't play dumb with me, you know what I'm talking about. You're blasting it at 45 million decibels, singing at the top of your lungs while driving on the freeway. But the second you pull into a parking lot, where people are walking dangerously close to your car and are clearly within audible range, that shit gets turned down to a whisper.
Before I get started on my Valentines Day post, let me take a minute to remind you that I'M SUPER EXCITED TO DO MY FIRST VLOG AND I WANT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU TO EMAIL ME QUESTIONS/ TOPICS (at TILTE@live.com) THAT YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO ANSWER/ DISCUSS!!! If all goes according to plan (please.please.please.), I will post my vlog entry around the first of March. Did I mention I really want you guys to email me??? Just don't send me shit like "show me yr b00bz" because that's totally lameballs and I'll probably get really excited when I see something in my inbox and then cry when I realize it's junk. Same rule applies for politics.
So.
I'm sure you all know by now what today is. That's right. Let's get down to business.
I've never been a huge fan of Valentine's Day. It just seems like a made up deal for people to be forced into stopping last minute at the local CVS or gas station to purchase a heart-shaped box of chocolates and roses wrapped in celephane tubing, be forced to tell their partner how much their heart skips a beat at the thought of them, and be forced to not look disappointed when their magical hopes and dreams are dashed at the sight of a sorry-looking stuffed animal and a bucket of KFC. If that doesn't say "romantic", I don't know what does.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not a vDay hater. I would never turn away a bouquet of flowers (as long as they weren't roses or carnations because those are stupid) or a free meal (because, free meal? Duh.), or even a surprise birthday party (what better way to SURPRISE your significant other than to make their birthday party nowhere near their birthday? I mean seriously, amirite??). But celebrating a day where we practically have to barf love all over each other doesn't really sound too exciting to me.
In honor of this most special day, I'd like to share some of my favorite Valentine cards courtesy of SomeEcards.
The other day, Mouth and Stomach were having a mega craving for Fruit Pizza. If you've ever been to a Pampered Chef party, you probably already know what fruit pizza is. -Or if you like fruit, then you've probably had it too. Or, if you're good at figuring out what words mean, then you've probably solved this riddle as well.
INGREDIENTS: -1 tube pizza crust -8 oz cream cheese -1 cup powdered sugar -1/2 tsp almond extract -1/4 cup milk -Fruit of your choice
DIRECTIONS: Roll out pizza dough to desired size, pinching edges to create crust. Use a fork to stab the hell outta the dough.
Bake at 425 for 9 minutes, or however long you feel like.
Chop fruit.
While crust is cooling, combine cream cheese and powdered sugar with electric mixer. In a separate cup, combine almond extract and milk. Add to cream cheese. (Helpful Hint: If you have kids, tell them this is frosting for your giant "Fruit Cookie".)
Spread mixture on crust. Top with beautiful fruit so it looks like a professional chef made it.
Slice yourself 5 pieces then sit down in front of Judge Judy for the next hour.
Well look at this y'all- I've been tagged in another meme. It looks like all that soul searching, and bribing, and colonoscoping has finally paid off. The people, they want more TILTE. And really, who am I to deny the masses?
The Tsaritsa over at The Tsaritsa Sez tagged me in a meme that's actually something a little different from the norm. It involves pen and paper and moving your hand in a way that doesn't result in tap-tap-tap and carpal tunnel.
Instructions: -Answer the following questions in written format.
1. What's your name/your Blogger name? 2. What's your blog's name/URL? 3. Write "the quick fox jumps over the lazy dog" 4. Favorite quote? 5. Your favorite song? 6. Your favorite band/singers? 7. Anything else you want to say? 8. Tag 3-5 other people
(Click photo to enlarge because I'm no HTML wizard and I don't know how to make this shit bigger.)
They say you can tell a lot about a person based on their writing. Anyone with a legit* Penmanship Reading degree, feel free to tell me all about myself. -And skip the obvious stuff, like how I'm super beautiful and lactose intolerant.
*actually, it doesn't matter how legit your Penmanship Reading degree is, I'll take whatever you can give me
In Other Nonsense...
I'm thinking of doing my first vlog! I'm really excited and hopefully you guys will help me out by flooding my inbox with questions for me to answer. It can be a serious question or a silly question or a whatever question. Just send it to TILTE@live.com over the next few weeks. Depending on how well the questioning goes, I'll post it around March 1st. If nobody sends me anything, we'll pretend this paragraph never happened.
The always sweet and fashion savvy NikosMommy at Fabulous! (Pasta Not Included...) tagged me in a post about My Favorite Things. She must know how much I like to talk about myself.
Let's get this party sharted!
FIVE CURRENT LOVES
1. Topsiders. If you don't know what these are, just imagine the shoes you'd wear sailing your boat around Cape Cod while eating oysters and sporting a cardigan tied over your shoulders. Yep. Those are the ones.
Except I prefer they not be ratty and beat up like my pair above. Um. I'm not sure if you can tell by my quality pic or what, but they're old as hell. And I wear them, like, everyday. I saw a brown pair of Sperry Topsiders at The Rack the other day, and although I'd really prefer the blue pair, saving myself $25 (plus shipping) is totally how I roll. Fingers crossed I get drunk enough this weekend to not care about spending money.
2. Red/ White/ Blue Stripes. I love striped clothing, especially in those colors. If it makes me feel like a wealthy, nautical, yacht-owning person and/or a French mime, I NEED IT. Important Note: NOT to be confused with American flag themed attire.
No,these are not dust rags. They're my actual clothes.
3. Uncrustables. That's right. I'm talking about those circle shaped bites of Heaven that are found in your local freezer section. Listen friends, I don't even LIKE peanut products and I've been eating these every day for the past three weeks straight out of SHEER.ADDICTION.
It's like crack served between two slices of Weber's bread. :::droooool:::
4. My New Tattoo. Okay, so here's the story with the tattoo. The first gift Boyfriend ever gave me was a little keychain character called Poop Dog. I fell in love instantly and it's actually one of the reasons why I think Boyfriend is so great.
With all this recent shit with my health going on, I've realized what a caring and positive support Boyfriend has been. Aaaand since we'd both been wanting to get a tattoo for a while (and wtf am I waiting for already) we decided to get matching tattoos.
What! I know!
It didn't take long for us to decide what we wanted...
I know, I love it too! We're.So.Bad.Ass.
5. Mark Ronson's Bang Bang Bang. I've been obsessed with this song since I first heard it last summer and my love for it still hasn't waned in the slightest.
I'll tell you why I love everything about this song.
-It involves two of my favs: Speaking French and Japanese game shows -Nutella -80's influenced video -It makes my ears drool every time I hear it -Synthesizers -Mark Ronson is a babe-a-rino -I get to put my four years of French to work -Star Tours-like effect with the shooting stars -The whole Ronson family is a little cuckoo and therefore I love them -The girl in the beginning of the video looks like a little TILTE
Enough said.
FIVE QUESTIONS
Favorite Make-up Brand: Well, I'm totally not a brand loyal shopper and I'm really not the best at taking care of my skin. I'd like to say M.A.C. because it brings out my inner drag queen, but I really only have, like, 5 M.A.C items in my whole makeup bag. If we're going to be honest here, I'd probably use colored chalk in my face if I felt I could get away with it.
Favorite Clothing Brand: I don't have a favorite clothing brand either. I like to mix my shit up and shop everywhere. And by everywhere, I mean everywhere that's cheap. I'd say most of my closet consists of thrift store finds, Target, and Forever21. But I'll tell you what I stear clear of- anything with logos or a brand name plastered across it, Uggs, and obviously Ed Hardy. (Obviously.)
Your Indispensable Makeup Product: Lip gloss. It not only brings some life to my shit, it can also double as blush when you're in a pinch. (I know it's a Grandma move, I don't care.) Without that little bit of color on my face, I'm in total crypt-keeper mode.
What Country Would You Like to Visit and Why: (Let the bragging commence...) Wellllll, since I've already been to... France, England, Spain, Italy, the Netherlands, and Greece... I'm going to say I'd like to visit an island resort. Like St. Barts or something. Does that count? I think I'd also like to go to Japan and maybe Argentina.
What is the Last Concert You're Been to: I know this will cause shock and awe amongst you all, but I've never been to a concert. I mean, one time I saw Cake play at a small venue when I went to the Sundance Film Festival, but 1. it was hardly a "concert", and 2. Cake? Seriously?? So... As for concerts I would really love to see, I'm going to say top three would be Air, Ladytron, and Beck.
