2.21.2011

Famous People Like Me.

Believe me when I tell you the most unbelievable thing happened Saturday night. -Which was quickly followed by the next most unbelievable thing.

I received a friend request on Facebook from a CELEB! -And by celeb, I really mean pseudo celeb. But he gets paid to be on TV, so that's all that matters to me.

Some background info: I MAY be a little obsessed with Current TV. (I use the word "obsessed" loosely. This is actually nothing like my obsession with Sour Cream and Onion Pringles.) The person who friend requested me happens to be one of the main Current TV personalities: Ben Hoffman. So when I saw his picture pop up as wanting to be friends with me, I nearly diarrhea'd all over my computer. I mean, if we're going to be honest here, I wasn't really THAT surprised that he wanted to be friends with me seeing as how worldly and clever I am. So naturally, I accepted.

I immediately clicked on his wall to see if this was the real deal Holyfield. And it was. It was not a fan page or a group page or any of that shit. Ben Hoffman and I were about to be fucking besties.

I imagined all the comically genius insults that were about to go flying. I would make fun of his hat. He would make fun of my mustache. It would be great. So I started the new-friend banter by going to his wall, where it says "Ben Hoffman and TILTE are now friends" and adding the comment "La-la-la-LIKE!" I then patted myself on the back because if there's anything that's funny, it's liking your own comment.



Well friends, this is where things got ugly.

Not five minutes later, WE.WERE.NO.LONGER.FRIENDS.

I know. I'm just as shocked as you.

I thought it MUST be a computer glitch- The Hoffster and I were like THIS. I refreshed my page 500 times and each time, we were STILL no longer friends. I was a little bit in shock and awe over the whole episode, but actually managed to shrug it off because he's a TV personality and that's one of the perks of being famous: "Let's be friends!" :::lurk lurk lurk::: UNFRIEND.

But then this morning, it all came back to me and I realized Ben Hoffman and I should totally be friends. So I sent him the following message:

"My name's TILTE and we were friends once, remember? I know we had our ups and downs, but I say let bygones be bygones and let's start this party train over again, shall we?

We can totally forget about that time I commented
"La-la-la-LIKE" on our friendship status. That was sofa king lame.

Your
friend,
TILTE"

If this doesn't win him over, I don't know what will. (Ben- if you're reading this, we're still cool, right...?)

18 comments:

Organic Meatbag said...

Ben Hoffman: Friend Tease... sounds like he was phishing for fans...

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

MEATBAG- i was already part of his fanpage and i'm assuming that's where he initially found me.

ALSO, I'D LIKE TO ADD TO THE ENTRY: this post wasn't to bash on Ben Hoffman. it was just to share a funny story. it's funny when people friend request you and then unfriend you 2 minutes later, right? right...?

rdobbs0924 said...

Maybe he could handle two minutes of your coolness? Me and Gwen Stefani have been in this situation before, except she was the one trying to friend me.

Simone Says... said...

celebs are figments of their own imagination.

Deborah said...

How can this Ben person resist?

If he knows what's good for him . . . (why I oughta).

Simon is killing me btw!

StephanieC said...

The closest brush I have had with celebrity on Facebook was some random cat who had a bunch of hot female friends.

So.. yeah... None at all.

I hope you two are besties again.

Some Shanimal girl commented, saying she was my newest follower, then she unfollowed me a day and a half later on blogger.

I hate that shizz.

And good call on NOT diarrhea-ing all over your computer in vain...

Sara Louise said...

He has no clue what kind of goodness he's missing out on now. UNLIKE!

jerrod said...

I don't know this guy... but I believe that YOU believe he's famous.

Yay!

Alicia xoxxo said...

His loss! You are too cool for him anyway! ;)

mina2 said...

Maybe he'll send you sour cream n onion pringles and beg for forgiveness.

Katt said...

He found out you were taken, and un-friended you in a fit of depression. He couldn't take seeing your updates everyday and knowing what could never be. He told me so. And then I un-friended him, because I just read a bunch of your blogs, and decided you are super-keen. :)

Megs said...

Sometimes facebook eats my updates for awhile.

Like this one time I posted something hilarious and like 3 people liked it and other people commented on it and it was a while thing and I was really popular (they like me! they really like me!) then the likes and comments all disappeared for awhile, but then they came back. In conclusion: Maybe that's what happened to you.

Also maybe I've had enough caffeine for the day.

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

RDOBBS - maybe you're right. maybe my coolness overpowered him. or maybe it was actually my breath that overpowered him.

SIMONE - i'm a celeb in my own imagination too.

DEBS - i've been asking myself the same thing! how can he resist all this comic relief?!

STEPH - at least your follower lasted a full day. mine took one look at my pictures (damn you, Donatella-Versace-halloween-costume) and ran for the hills.

SARA - i know! i've tried to remind him how hilarious and special am i, but i don't think it's working.

JERROD - yeah, i'm not surprised you haven't heard of him. CurrentTV isn't really advertised anywhere and i only found the channel by accident when they were airing a special about the parsons school's Internet Famous class. honestly, everything on that channel is worth checking out.

ALICIA - thanks! i'm going to let you in on a little secret: i'm not really that cool. also, i'd still be friends with him if he friend requested me again.

MINA - thanks for reminding me. it's time for my daily 1:58pm pringles snack.

KATT - i bet you're totally right! either that or he just realized i'm a total nerdbomber.

MEGS - no. we're still not friends.

theTsaritsa said...

What a tease!! It shouldn't bother me, but I always get a little offended when I click on someone's profile only to find out they unfriended me. I guess it's my fault for posting too many links?

Sigh. Facebook is just like high-school.

Bonnie said...

Baaaahahahahahahahaahaa.
I noticed on my Twitter the other day that Heidi Montag is following me.
The real Heidi Montag.
I feel like a celebutard having a failed MTV reality star whore follow my Twitter.
SUPER STOKED.

http://glamkittenslitterbox.blogspot.com/
Twitter: @GlamKitten88

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Hahaha damn! I miss a few days of blogs and all hell breaks loose with people being befriended then unbefriended by celebs I've never even heard of!

I say it's his loss. I mean, clearly he has no love of the funny.

sheila said...

Bastard. lol.

Caleb said...

So like a man to just get what he wants and then disappear! Gawd!

We rule.

Caleb

PS who the hell is Ben Hoffman?

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