I received a friend request on Facebook from a CELEB! -And by celeb, I really mean pseudo celeb. But he gets paid to be on TV, so that's all that matters to me.
Some background info: I MAY be a little obsessed with Current TV. (I use the word "obsessed" loosely. This is actually nothing like my obsession with Sour Cream and Onion Pringles.) The person who friend requested me happens to be one of the main Current TV personalities: Ben Hoffman. So when I saw his picture pop up as wanting to be friends with me, I nearly diarrhea'd all over my computer. I mean, if we're going to be honest here, I wasn't really THAT surprised that he wanted to be friends with me seeing as how worldly and clever I am. So naturally, I accepted.
I immediately clicked on his wall to see if this was the real deal Holyfield. And it was. It was not a fan page or a group page or any of that shit. Ben Hoffman and I were about to be fucking besties.
I imagined all the comically genius insults that were about to go flying. I would make fun of his hat. He would make fun of my mustache. It would be great. So I started the new-friend banter by going to his wall, where it says "Ben Hoffman and TILTE are now friends" and adding the comment "La-la-la-LIKE!" I then patted myself on the back because if there's anything that's funny, it's liking your own comment.
Well friends, this is where things got ugly.
Not five minutes later, WE.WERE.NO.LONGER.FRIENDS.
I know. I'm just as shocked as you.
I thought it MUST be a computer glitch- The Hoffster and I were like THIS. I refreshed my page 500 times and each time, we were STILL no longer friends. I was a little bit in shock and awe over the whole episode, but actually managed to shrug it off because he's a TV personality and that's one of the perks of being famous: "Let's be friends!" :::lurk lurk lurk::: UNFRIEND.
But then this morning, it all came back to me and I realized Ben Hoffman and I should totally be friends. So I sent him the following message:
If this doesn't win him over, I don't know what will. (Ben- if you're reading this, we're still cool, right...?)
"My name's TILTE and we were friends once, remember? I know we had our ups and downs, but I say let bygones be bygones and let's start this party train over again, shall we?
We can totally forget about that time I commented
"La-la-la-LIKE" on our friendship status. That was sofa king lame.