Valentine's Day According to TILTE.

Before I get started on my Valentines Day post, let me take a minute to remind you that I'M SUPER EXCITED TO DO MY FIRST VLOG AND I WANT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU TO EMAIL ME QUESTIONS/ TOPICS (at TILTE@live.com) THAT YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO ANSWER/ DISCUSS!!! If all goes according to plan (please.please.please.), I will post my vlog entry around the first of March. Did I mention I really want you guys to email me??? Just don't send me shit like "show me yr b00bz" because that's totally lameballs and I'll probably get really excited when I see something in my inbox and then cry when I realize it's junk. Same rule applies for politics.


I'm sure you all know by now what today is. That's right. Let's get down to business.

I've never been a huge fan of Valentine's Day. It just seems like a made up deal for people to be forced into stopping last minute at the local CVS or gas station to purchase a heart-shaped box of chocolates and roses wrapped in celephane tubing, be forced to tell their partner how much their heart skips a beat at the thought of them, and be forced to not look disappointed when their magical hopes and dreams are dashed at the sight of a sorry-looking stuffed animal and a bucket of KFC. If that doesn't say "romantic", I don't know what does.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not a vDay hater. I would never turn away a bouquet of flowers (as long as they weren't roses or carnations because those are stupid) or a free meal (because, free meal? Duh.), or even a surprise birthday party (what better way to SURPRISE your significant other than to make their birthday party nowhere near their birthday? I mean seriously, amirite??). But celebrating a day where we practically have to barf love all over each other doesn't really sound too exciting to me.

In honor of this most special day, I'd like to share some of my favorite Valentine cards courtesy of SomeEcards.

Boyfriend got this one. (Happy vDay, Boyfriend!)

Happy Hallmark/ Russell Stover/ DeBeers Day.


Marie a la Mode said...

Ha ha, these are funny! Especially the "old and disgusting" one.

theTsaritsa said...

Haha, I love the one about being lonely and white!

Megs said...

Yeah, I had to go find a few to send to people before I could comment.

My husband got "I'm glad you realize how much more terrible your life would be without me."

And since the Kay Jewelers commercials are about to make me commit some sort of ritual suicide, could someone please explain to me why they are so committed to that whole "Every Kiss Begins with Kay" thing? Because all of my kisses do indeed begin with the letter "k" none of them have ever begun with Kay Jewelers and this is irritating me.

Simone Says... said...


jerrod said...

this is why you're adorable.

word verf : spong

I just think it's funny.

Veronica Marcetti Dimick said...

Love the "I'm glad you recognize how terrible your life would be without me."

And those Kay commercials make me super stabby, too.

Happy VD!

Bonnie said...

I really want to shoot you a "show me your b00bz" email now.

Twitter: @GlamKitten88

Chrystal said...

My fav is the uti one!

Organic Meatbag said...

Show me your melons!! No, no, not THOSE, gutter brain! The honeydew melons you purchased at the grocery! Sheeeesz!
Hehehehe...I like you...you're awfully damn funny!

Kim said...

Yeah, I'm totally with you. Example: Ben and I watched Archer and 30 Rock with dinner last night. At home. With the dogs. I may or may not have been in PJs (I was.)

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

MEGS- those Kay commercials are total diarrhea. besides, not every kiss begins with kay. in fact, most kisses i know begin with an alcoholic beverage.

KIM- i like your style. our night may or may not have included surf n turf, champagne, and a hot air balloon ride over the french countryside. (it didn't.)

Wombat Central said...

Love the flowers one--their cards are the best.

@Kim, LOVE Archer!

Sara Louise said...

My favorite ode to love comes from 50 Cent, "I love you more than a fat kid loves cake". But that cannibal card is pretty good too :-)

Roxanne and Lorraine said...

Someecards kept me company on my single Valentine. Not that that's depressing or anything. They just are pretty funny.


Ashley, The Accidental Olympian said...

My fav is definitely the one about V-day and Black History month. PRICELESS.

StephanieC said...

Okay, this was (to quote you) sofa king hilarious, some ecards.

BF totally always needs that last one with the preemptive apology, because I am a picky, hard-to-please bitch.

Also? Love the body positioning of the 2nd to last woman.

And I love roses, but not on valentine's day. Then it's bullshizz.


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