Eating and Pooping: My Life After Surgery

I'm sure you've all been wondering how my bowels are doing since the surgery.

Lucky for you, I'm here with all the details. Well, except for the details from my rectal exam. That's a horror I don't care to relive.

I had my post-op appointments and things are looking good. Both of my surgeons said my incisions are healing well and my belly feels fine. The internal stuff seems to be on track as well. Yay!

My clothing has progressed from nightshirts to loose fitting pajama pants and loose fitting stretch pants. Or basically anything that's loose fitting. Unfortunate for me, my normal wardrobe usually consists of jeans that cook up my muffin top. The thought of wearing jeans right now makes my stitches cry. So if you see me around town and I'm wearing drawstring hobo pants, that's why. I'm also still wearing hospital underwear. Which is practically one step away from Mormon underwear.

Mormon underwear.

More great news- my diet was promoted!! For the first several weeks, I was on a low-fiber diet. It was basically no raw fruits/ vegetables, only cooked fruit/vegetables that are fork tender, nothing with skin or seeds, no whole grain products, no nuts, no beans, and no tough or thick cuts of meat. Essentially, I was on a "white-flour only" diet. I knew that ahead of time and going into this, I was like HALLELUJA ALL OF MY FAVORITE FOODS!!! But it's surprising how many foods have sneaky little "non-approved" items in them that you don't even think about on a normal basis.

Now I've been given the green light for going back to my normal diet. I'm excited to be able to eat pretty much whatever I want again. However, this "normal" diet seems to be causing some EXCRUCIATING indegestion pains. We're talking the churning gurgle that groans from the depths of the bowels and feels like someone is blowing up a balloon inside of you, but no matter how hard you try and wish and pray, no farts are exiting the premises. Because of these pains, which are totally normal, along with my newly built butthole, I have to take the following medications on a regular basis:

- 4 Ibuprofen every 6 hours, round the clock
- 2 to 4 Senekot-S per day
- Gas-X at least once a day, or as needed
- Miralax if it's been more than three days since a poop
- Norco for pain as needed

Let's talk more about poop!

So, before I had the surgery, I spent lots of time reading chat boards about bowel resection. I wanted to know what was common, what to expect, etc. Based on what one of my surgeons told me, it was a safe bet that I could count on lots of sharting in my near future. This is apparently because the colon has been cut through and, obviously, the nerves are basically shot for a good amount of time. What I found online only added to the weird factor: "several small stools throughout the day." To be exact, "10-20 small stools throughout the day."

When I read that, I was like "What the fuck...?" The likelihood for that happening to me was low since I barely pooped like 2-3 times a week. Well, with that said, we obviously know where this is going.

The "10-20 small stools throughout the day" thing is no joke. It happened to me. Every hour, on the hour, your butt is like "Hey! I'm really happy for you. I'ma let you finish. But first we're gonna make a lotta little baby poops."

In the two weeks since I came home, my days pretty much look like this:

Day 1-3: no poop
Day 4: 10-20 small turdlets
Day 5-6: no poop
Day 7: load up on laxatives because my guts are full of solid gold shit
Rinse and repeat

What else is about it?

I've had some pretty great visitors over the past week. I haven't driven since before the surgery since I'm still taking Norco, so without these visitors, and Boyfriend at work all day, I'm pretty much losing all social interaction skills. I'm sure by the time I go back to work, I'll be acting like Jodie Foster in Nell.

Some of my favorite gifts:

A "Get Well Soon" soup spoon (thanks, Melissa!)

Kitchen items for when I'm back to cooking (thanks, Christina!)

My favorite cupcake, from Susie Cakes (thanks, Dr. Busch!)

And of course, the chili pepper crown (thanks, Mom and Tanya!)

Since I got my first of two clearances to eat whatever I want, Boyfriend and I celebrated by going to a local favorite spot. I took it easy with an avocado taco and iced tea. After being on a limited diet, that taco was like dining with Julia Child.

I never thought I'd say this, but... It's good to be eating healthy food again!!!

At my second post-op appointment (I had two surgeons), my doctor gave me the following advice: Don't focus on your anus. Only, she's French, so it sounded a lot more like "Zon't focuz on yo anuz." Which I thought was super funny. She went on to explain that when you've been experiencing pain for so long, it's easy to focus on any feeling you have in that same area. That's what you shouldn't do. Discomfort is expected, as it will take six months to fully heal. But don't think about that, just focus on enjoying life. Which I thought was great advice.

And with that, I leave you with: Zon't focuz on yo anuz.

(To anyone with endometriosis, or anyone who may be thinking about undergoing surgery: If you have questions that you're not comfortable posting in the comments section, please feel free to email me! My email address is TILTE at live dot com.)


Serial Monogamist said...

Yay to healing! Yay to French people talking about buttholes!

Also, good on you for sharing all of this. I'm sure there's someone who's dealing with this crap (pun intended) who's looking for the real deal from someone who's been there. I'm sending good healing hippie vibes (it's what I do instead of praying) your way!

Erin said...

I'm really glad your new butt works!

Sarah Lindahl said...

I will remember that wise advice for the rest of my life, "Don't focus on your anus." In fact, I'm going to start writing it in all graduation and wedding cards from now on. I might even write a book about it in the same vein of "Oh The Places You'll Go!" Don't worry, I won't forget you when it hits the best seller list.

Henri B. said...

I'm glad you're on the mend!

NumberWhisperer said...

I could listen to that doctor all day long.

Mandy_Fish said...

This had me rolling:

The "10-20 small stools throughout the day" thing is no joke. It happened to me. Every hour, on the hour, your butt is like "Hey! I'm really happy for you. I'ma let you finish. But first we're gonna make a lotta little baby poops."

I love that your intestines talk to you. And talk to you in Kanye's voice.

Lorraine said...

You are pretty much the bravest blogger I read, what with your telling us all about your Baby Kanye Stools. But seriously, you are awesome for really sharing all about your journey. :)

I'm glad you are eating and recovering and healing! Onward, toward full on ignoring of the anus.

Kara said...

I never thought I'd be so happy for someone's butthole! So glad you're getting back on the saddle (so to speak, that might be uncomfortable in your situation).

Sending my best healing vibes your way!

Anonymous said...

I was smiling while driving thinking about mormon underwear comment and image. Also, I would like to find ways to sneak "turdlets" into casual conversations. So glad you are rallying little warrior!

Daynah Muncie said...

I just had abdominal intestinal surgery and this is the best thing I have read! Thank you for sharin, its nice to know im not alone in the big wide world of poop!

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