5.09.2011

Pig Cake: The Vlog.

Just in case anyone was mistaken and thought I knew my way around a kitchen, I decided to post this Mother's Day vlog.

A few weeks back I came across a recipe on Robin's blog, Insights and Belly Laughs, for a cake that seemed perfect for my level of baking expertise. Robin's daughter baked this cake for her birthday and and as soon as I saw the photo I knew I wanted to try it out on Mother's Day. There were only a few ingredients AND someone who was NOT the creator of the cake was able to pull it off without a hitch. All signs pointed to my success.

The original recipe was created by Ree Drummond, AKA The Pioneer Woman. Disclaimer: The cake that I made is in NO way to discredit Mrs. Drummond. Many, many, many people read her blog and buy her cookbooks and have great results with her recipes. She is probably a great, wonderful, creative chef/ cook/ baker and obviously I don't know shit when it comes to following directions.

video

Anyway, I'm totally aware that my cake is all kinds of fucked up. Pretty much everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. And even though there were some off-camera tears, and possibly even an apeshit moment of punching the container of Cool Whip when I realized it needed to thaw for FOUR FUCKING HOURS before use, I pushed through like a champion. And let's go ahead and say what everyone is thinking: My cake looked like a mountain of potato salad. I know. I'm aware. Fortunately, the cake itself was nice and moist and tasted good. The frosting on the other hand... well... I probably won't be attempting that one again. I'll leave that move to the professionals like Ree and Robin's daughter.

I ended up getting roid rage over my stupid-ass loser cake and canceled on my family. But finally got my shit together when my sister sent me a text that read:

"I heard your cake sucks. Come over to mom's before we leave."


In the end, my family ate almost the whole thing. So I guess all in all, it wasn't a total loss.



Hopefully, your Mother's Day plans turned out better than mine.

Oh. And Happy Mother's Day again to my favorite mom/ luchador. Without you, I wouldn't be the Mexican wrestler I am today.



Boner'ppetite.


22 comments:

abbyhasissues.com said...

Frosting fixes everything. It's like the White-out of the pastry world, and if that doesn't work, at least you can drown your sorrows in it (either the frosting or the White-Out, depending on your preferred high, I suppose.)

I made cupcakes for my mom. They're harder to screw up.

The Onion said...

I have seen a few recipes for Pig Eating Cake, etc., including the one on the Pioneer Woman. Her recipes are usually easy, so too bad your cake looked like a volcano project. Been there.

I had a similar meltdown on Thanksgiving with her Parker House Rolls, which I would have thrown at the wall if they wouldn't have broken the plaster. Unfortunately, everyone was coming to my house as I hauled them to the trash. Family holidays...yay.

The good news is, your cake got eaten up! And, there was wrestling.

www.alotoflayers.blogspot.com

theTsaritsa said...

Aw, it didn't look that bad! And the taste is all that matters. I'm sure your mom really appreciated it, despite the fact that your doggy took a bite out of it. My kitty would have done the same...

Danielle said...

I thought it looked pretty good. I also recently discovered cool whip has to thaw for 4 hours. Who ever thinks - "I'm really gonna want to get depressed and disgusting in 4 hours and dip some hershey bars in cool whip. Better let it defrost." ???

MRanthrope said...

don't feel bad...I don't know shit about following directions either! haha.

cool mask also.

Junket said...

Biscuit totally stole the show on the vlog. In my opinion it's more fun to make a totally fucked up looking cake and then watch everyone squirm while trying to pretend they don't notice it looks like you scraped it up off the sidewalk. Unless you're my family, in which case you're feelings are getting hurt in a major way.

Crying is the New Croquet said...

Not bad, Tilte, I was expecting a full on cake wreck like the plaid cake made by the drunk baker.

Don't feel bad. I fuck shit up all the time.

Bonnie said...

You open cans the same way that I do. I always use a fork or a spoon before I use my fingers.
I like how you sped the video up and then stopped to draw special attention to your apron.
No wonder we are friends.

http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
Twitter: @GlamKitten88

aki! said...

You win for having a hilarious post. Don't worry. I follow Ree Drummond's blog too and her cooking skills are waaaay beyond me.

I really enjoyed my Developmental Psych course and did well in it. The Virtual Child program is available to anyone (who pays).

Simone Says... said...

there are no mistakes. that cake wins.

Cake Betch said...

Lol you're so cute in your video.

And my mom makes that cake, it is delicious! She's never put it in a bundt pan, I wonder if that has anything to do with the goo on top? I wouldn't think so. Obviously your dog didn't mind it.

Sara said...

Oh, poor sad disaster of a cake. Been there, done that. I'm a terrible baker. All those measurements and patience...no thank you. :) Glad to hear it was delicious anyway.

Caleb said...

First of all, great music. German yodeling just replaced the "Queen of the Night" aria that inexplicably came into my head all day. Thanks for that, music degree.

Seconth, does the recipe call for an outfit change midway through? Or is that just an optional touch that you threw in there?

I say next cake you go for THREE outfits.

Live dangerous!

Caleb

Twisted Susan said...

I'd eat that mess if you made it for me.

Erin said...

So admittedly the end product looks totally bizarre, but I still want to shove my face in it. I love the fast-forwarded sections. :-) Also, my mom often tells the story of how their dog ate my entire first birthday cake and then barfed it all up. Cake-eating dogs for the win!!

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

ABBY - frosting USUALLY fixes everything, but in my case, frosting was the biggest problem. it came out way too runny and ended up sliding right off the cake.

ONION - this recipe totally seemed easy so i thought it was gonna be failproof! i was wrong.

TSARITSA - NO! it DID look bad in person. in the video it looked like a mountain of potato salad. in real life it looked like a moutain of egg salad. -which is even worse when your mouth is supposed to be expecting a sweet treat.

DANIELLE - good point. it's one of those things that needs to be made READY TO PIG THE FUCK OUT on. none of thise wait-around-and-waste-4-hours-of-my-life booshet.

MRANTHROPE - thanks! the masks were found in a bag of misc costumes. as soon as i saw them i knew they'd be perfect for our mother's day photo.

JUNKET - well, in my family we call a spade a spade. if your food looks like shit, we tell you. so everyone was on the same "this cake looks like egg salad" page. -two of my three nephews straight up passed on the offer to try it. oddly enough, the one who did try it ended up having seconds. and yeah, biscuit definitely stole the show. -along with the cake.

Crying - seriously, in real life this cake allllllmost rivaled the drunk baker.

BONNIE - it was the first time i'd used that apron so it was a special weird moment wiping my cake batter hands on it.

AKI - thanks! maybe i'll have to stick to even easier recipes. -like making cereal.

SIMONE - i'm glad someone thinks it wins. i was so rage-filled by the time i realized about the cool whip, i wanted to go outside and throw my cake in the street. not an exagerration in the slightest.

CAKE BETCH - agh! now this just confirms that this cake is totally makeable and that i totally fucked up the recipe. have your mom send me a slice since i have no idea what it's SUPPOSED to taste like and i'm never going to attempt it again.

SARA - it WAS a poor disaster of a cake. on mother's day, of all days. guh...

CALEB - i baked the cake itself on Saturday night and then did the frosting on Sunday. hence the "...the next day" part of the video and the outfit change. i'm wild like that.

SUSAN - i'll keep that in mind next time i make a trainwreck of a cake.

ERIN - dogs are always getting the win. it doesn't matter what the video content is, if it has a dog in it, it gets my vote.

Wombat Central said...

That looks just like (well, maybe it doesn't LOOK like it) the Sunshine Cake recipe I posted recently. I'll bet it tasted great. How could it not when you were wearing such a fab apron?

Also, Biscuit was my favorite part of the video. I loved the animated yawn he did when he was trying to look all innocent. :)

Ashley, The Accidental Olympian said...

Two things.

A. Love that the dog took a bite out of the cake.

and B. you are adorable. More Vlogs!

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

ABBY - frosting USUALLY fixes everything, but in my case, frosting was the biggest problem. it came out way too runny and ended up sliding right off the cake.

ONION - this recipe totally seemed easy so i thought it was gonna be failproof! i was wrong.

TSARITSA - NO! it DID look bad in person. in the video it looked like a mountain of potato salad. in real life it looked like a moutain of egg salad. -which is even worse when your mouth is supposed to be expecting a sweet treat.

DANIELLE - good point. it's one of those things that needs to be made READY TO PIG THE FUCK OUT on. none of thise wait-around-and-waste-4-hours-of-my-life booshet.

MRANTHROPE - thanks! the masks were found in a bag of misc costumes. as soon as i saw them i knew they'd be perfect for our mother's day photo.

JUNKET - well, in my family we call a spade a spade. if your food looks like shit, we tell you. so everyone was on the same "this cake looks like egg salad" page. -two of my three nephews straight up passed on the offer to try it. oddly enough, the one who did try it ended up having seconds. and yeah, biscuit definitely stole the show. -along with the cake.

Crying - seriously, in real life this cake allllllmost rivaled the drunk baker.

BONNIE - it was the first time i'd used that apron so it was a special weird moment wiping my cake batter hands on it.

AKI - thanks! maybe i'll have to stick to even easier recipes. -like making cereal.

SIMONE - i'm glad someone thinks it wins. i was so rage-filled by the time i realized about the cool whip, i wanted to go outside and throw my cake in the street. not an exagerration in the slightest.

CAKE BETCH - agh! now this just confirms that this cake is totally makeable and that i totally fucked up the recipe. have your mom send me a slice since i have no idea what it's SUPPOSED to taste like and i'm never going to attempt it again.

SARA - it WAS a poor disaster of a cake. on mother's day, of all days. guh...

CALEB - i baked the cake itself on Saturday night and then did the frosting on Sunday. hence the "...the next day" part of the video and the outfit change. i'm wild like that.

SUSAN - i'll keep that in mind next time i make a trainwreck of a cake.

ERIN - dogs are always getting the win. it doesn't matter what the video content is, if it has a dog in it, it gets my vote.

Miss Yvonne said...

FYI, putting frozen Cool Whip in the microwave to thaw it isn't a good idea. I learned that lesson the hard way.

Pop Champagne said...

hey as long as it taste good doesn't really matter how it looks! haha I hate when you see pretty cakes and you bite into it and it taste not as pretty as it looks if you now what I mean! :D

The Random Blogette said...

I totally understand the meltdown. I had one last Thanksgiving. It was the first time we did Thanksgiving dinner for his family. To say that his mom is judgmental is quite the understatement. I wanted everything to be perfect and of course the only thing that I was responsible for (mashed potatoes) got screwed up. How can one screw up mashed potatoes?!! I have no clue. I guess they were boiled too long or whatever (the hubs did the boiling). But Kroger saved the day. Thank you Hungry Jack Potato Flakes! No one knew they were instant. =)

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