It seems like I've come across a bevy of emo blogs lately that are all about how shitty life is. I get it, sometimes life reeeeeally sucks. Mine included. But if there's one thing I don't want to read about when life hands me shit it's someone else's unhappiness. I lurk on other people's blogs because I like to read hilarious/ interesting/ gossipy shit and I assume that's why other people come to my blog. So I'm not going to bore you with sad tales from yesteryear.
Instead, I'm going to share my master plan for 2011 and why it's going to rock my fucking face off.
1. Being proactive about my guts. I'm taking vitamins, Lactaid, and Oil of Evening Primrose RELIGIOUSLY. "Oil of Evening Primrose? What's that for, TILTE?" Well, all symptoms seem to be pointing to endometriosis up in my shit and since I don't want to pay the $300 copay for a Colons Gone Wild video, I'm just going to assume that's what it is. Oil of Evening Primrose is supposed to help ward off that fucking monster that rides the party train all around my insides every month and makes me want to hari kari my brains out. So far it seems to be doing it's job. Fingers crossed, mother fuckers.
2. Staying on top of my blog. Shit happens all the time that I take pictures of and have a good chuckle to myself while saying "Ohhhhhh man! I can't wait to share that with my best friend, Blog!!!" And then one tivo'd episode of Judge Judy later and it's forever erased from my memory bank. This year I want to up my facebook group members, get some commentary going (don't be escared- I LOVE facebook comments) and DEFINITELY get my blog followers to the big fucking 100 milestone. (To all you secret lurkers- I see you stopping by. I see your visits from Prior Lake MN, Ridgecrest CA, Mcminnville TN. It's time to join the club already. Unless you've already joined. In which case, thanks for joining.)
3. Experimenting in the kitchen. No, I'm not referring to crazy shit like drugs or placentas. These past few months I've really enjoyed trying out new recipes. Some have been winners, some have been losers, and some have been WTF's, but I realized that I fucking love cooking, baking, eating, sharing, and repeating. This is going to be the year of TILTE in the Kitchen. In related news, it may also be the year of Small Kitchen Fires, Accidental Food Poisoning, and Antacids: A Hero in the Making.
2011, I'm ready for you, you sonuvabitch.