Forget World Peace. I Want Material Goods.

The week leading up to Christmas was crazy busy and I originally wanted to break this post up into like three entries. But since I was super busy doing work stuff (lame, I know), and wrapping gifts, and stressing about last minute purchases made on Amazon.com that hadn't yet arrived, shit got put on hold. Sidenote: Never order an apron online, no matter how attractive the print seems to be. Because when it arrives on your doorstep on Christmas Eve and that "print" turns out to be handcuffs, guns, and half naked Betty Page style girls, your 65 year old mom will be too embarrassed to hold up her new gift for everyone to have a laugh.

Get ready for like a brazillion photos of Christmas with TILTE...

Doing a little thing I like to call "Making Christmas Chains". I'm sure you've never heard of it before.

"No pictures while I'm decorating the tree. JUST KIDDING. Take like 50."

My Circus of the Stars decorations.

I got to visit with Kosmo the Wonderpup!!! Except his name was changed to Bosco. Sadz... but he looked happy in love with his new home, so not really sadz.

Holiday cookies made from MUTHA FUGGIN SCRATCH, Y'ALL.

Santa Barbara coast on the way up to boyfriend's family's house.

Remember Thanksgiving loose-tooth-girl? She's still holding strong.

Christmas Eve dinner with boyfriend's family. Not featured in this photo: The oyster I attempted to eat and then proceeded to spit out. I guess my palate isn't quite as refined as I thought. Hm... That's weird.

Season appropriate beverages.

Awww, TILTE and boyfriend!

"Merry Christmas!!"

"...I'm taking pictures- BEAT IT."

My holiday paper. Love it.

Biscuit guarding her Christmas loot.

TILTE with mom and sister. Note: This is the same sister who made the pterodactyl poop sweet potatoes. She wanted me to clear up any misconceptions based on her last appearance by stating that she is NOT, in fact, a dude.

You can thank The Vegetable Assassin for this festive liquory drink, the Snowball. It consists of Advocaat and 7-Up with two cherries on top and tastes like an orange creamsicle. Be forwarned: It is not for the lactose intolerant. Or anyone with egg allergies. Or anyone who doesn't want to gain 40lbs in 5 minutes.

Favorite gift given: Gin and Titonic Ice Cube Tray. We even added a drop of blue food coloring to the water before freezing. You know, to make it more realistic.

Favorite gift that may-or-may-not have been purchased for someone else and I decided to keep it instead and learn how to play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star: Accordion.

There you have it. I hope your holiday was as festive and carb-riddled as mine was. Or that you at least enjoyed your brand new slipper socks with the grippies on the bottom.


sheila said...

FUN! I can't believe that little girl has another loose tooth...or is it the SAME ONE? OMG, I hope it's not the same one! Poor kid!

Lots of yummy photos, and nice one of you and the boyfriend! Looks like you had a great holiday, that's awesome! LOVE the Santa's Butt beer, HA HA HA!

sheila said...

OMG, that IS the same tooth!

The Vegetable Assassin said...

C'mon though, admit it, the Snowballs are GREAT, no? :) I mean you couldn't drink them every day or anything without getting a sugar high but man they taste good. I had one myself last night. Jesus H. they are good.

What a lovely festive time you had. Seriously though, oysters? On Chrismtas? You strange west coasters.

Biscuit said...

YAY! Boyfriend! I was hoping you'd show him to us!

Happy Holidays you sexy bitch.

Kim said...

Dude. I want that ice cube tray. That is marvelous.

I <3 milky drinks 'round X-mas time cuz it's the only time of year you can get away with it. Other times of year, eggnog=funny looks. X-mas, eggnog=life of the party.

Bonnie said...

Your captions are effing awesome. They make me laugh so hard I pee. (Not really, but that would be friggin' sweet.)

Annnddd it's a must to take pictures while decorating a Christmas tree. I have about 34923402 of me hanging ornaments. In 30 years, I can show people that I used to be cute.


Megs said...

I love your glasses and now I need an accordion.

Also, your tree is very pretty.

Coyote Rose said...

Sounds like a fun Christmas. Your tree looked pretty or maybe i was just distracted by the snow globe, either way!

Also, oysters are disgusting. This coming from girl who has to serve them everyday

Deborah said...

Your glasses are adorable btw. Adorable.

I just had oysters myself. Not the first time. For some reason, even though I know you are not supposed to, I chewed. Not a good idea. So good when they just GO down. No chewing.

Those cookies look lovely!

Chrystal said...

Love the pics & of course your sassy comments! Miss ya chickie!

Nikosmommy said...

Festive-amazingness all around! These pics are fabulous...

Love the baking, tree decor, oysters(tho no pics included), sassy eye glasses, high-cal cocktails, dog and new BF!!!

Someone needs to yank that poor kids tooth out, crikey!

WHERE does one get `the little red accordion`!! I want one NOW!!

Kara said...

Ok, you are seriously hilarious. I love the photos of you cheesin', that Santa's Butt beer is delicious (we had it on tap somewhere recently and I got HAMMERED), and OMG I lol'd til fiance asked me what was wrong at the "Gin and Titonic" ice cube tray. Just typing that made me laugh all over again. TITONIC, LOL

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

SHEILA- it's the SAME tooth! i couldn't believe it when she opened up her little mouth. she must have that thing sealed up like fort knox.

ASSASSIN- they were good, no doubt about it. the orange creamsicle flavor was a total surprise though. my mouth was in total disbelief so i had to keep drinking more to remind myself.

BISCUIT- i know! it's crazy to actually put boyfriend's picture on the blog, but i figured this was the perfect occasion.

KIM- if you love milky drinks, you will def love this one. go to your nearest BevMo and buy a bottle of Bohl's Advocaat- it's in the liqueur section.

BONNIE- i'm totally with you. i feel like i'm already on my way out of the Cute Club, so i'm trying to hold on to the memories with every chance i get.

MEGS- thank you and thank you. i love my glasses too. i wear them when i want to feel official. and cute.

ROSE/ DEBS- this was my first time with the oyster. they were deep fried and we all know i'll eat anything deep fried. i knew there was no way i'd just be able to throw that shit down my gullet... so i chewed. game.over.

CHRYSTAL- did you have the day off today? you need to do some serious catching up on your blog!

NIKO- i got found that accordion at TJ Maxx, but i also saw the same ones at World Market. as soon as i took it out of the box and gave it a squeeze i knew it was going to be way too hard for a child to manage. so i kept it. :)

KARA- i had fucking stars in my eyeballs when i saw that Gin and Titonic ice cube tray. i just HAAAAD to get. they sell them at BevMo if you're interested.

Junket said...

Bosco? Hmmm..... If it makes you feel better, I'm deathly allergic to oysters! Never have to worry about those slimy things over here.

Speaking of over here...when's our date?

Ashleigh @ Pregnant AGAIN said...

I have the same sweater as you

Jessica said...

Hi Boyfriend!!! Cute pic of you two. Cute pic of loose tooth girl as well.
Things I am jealous of in this post
1) That drink
2) Your cute glasses and your Christmas outfit.
3)THE ICECUBE TRAY. I covet it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brooke said...

Love your Christmas outfit! And I have the same B ornament.

Ally said...

I <3 your Christmas, from your tree ornaments and wrapping paper to your cute red shews. So awesome! Love how you shared your pix with us as always giving us a glimpse into your world during holiday time :)

The Weed said...

I'm kinda horrified that I hadn't followed you yet. I totally had that checked off my mental check-list, but then I tried to find you on my reader and YOU WEREN'T THERE.

Thankfully this terrible oversight has been rectified. And your post was hilarious.

mina2 said...

you are classy like charo, "cuchi-cuchi".

Kellie W. said...

Merry CHristmas and happy new year! :) Looks like your holidays were awesome!

Marsy said...

I want some of that Santa's Butt!
Glad to see you had a great Christmas and let's cheer to a wonderful New Year! Hip hip :)

Ashley, The Accidental Olympian said...

SB coastline = amazeballs

Anything Fits A Naked Man said...

OK, three things I need to obtain IMMEDIATELY after reading this (awesome!) post: Santa's Butt beer, Gin and Titanic ice cubes (OMG!!), and a little red accordion! AWESOME!!

Also, your Christmas decorations are simply lovely! Well done!

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

JUNKS- boyfriend and i went to that cafe i told you about. my meal wasn't so great, but i would definitely go back. plus, you have to come out and see my hood. bloggers unite.

ASHLEIGH- you'll see our sweater again in the near future bc i wore it on new years too. i'm a one-trick pony.

JESSICA- thanks!! boyfriend will prob be making more appearances from here on out.

BROOKE- thanks! i think everyone needs their own personalized ornament on the tree.

ALLY- thank you so much! sometimes i think maybe i'm throwing too much TILTE shit out there and that readers are gonna be like "borrr-rrring". and then i remember this is MY blog and i can be as boring as i want.

WEED- it's about time you joined the party.

MINA- everything i need to know, i learned from Charo.

KELLIE- thanks for stopping by!! hope you had a great new year too. btw- how do you like the elbow-patch blazer???

MARSY- i'm not sure where the Santa's Butt cam from, but i bet they sell it at World Market.

ASHLEY- your fam is in SB, right? when was the last time you were out here?

NAKED MAN- go to BevMo and get that ice cube tray! i love it and now i look for any reason to shell out titonic ice cubes.

RN Mama said...

Where do I start?

First of all, the little girl with the loose tooth? WTF? Let me at her! I've pulled out both of Alivia's top teeth, and she loved every minute of it. I'm a good teeth-puller-outer!!

Second, boyfriend? You have a boyfriend? Details, and lots of them please!

Third, the accordion is all kinds of awesome and random. My Mom played the accordion growing up and she hated every minute of it. Apparently when she grew up, playing the accordion from 3rd-12th grade wasn't popular. Who knew?

Wombat Central said...

GAH! I had left a comment on this for-evah ago, and I must have spazzed and mess up the word verification or something.

First, you had me at sharted. Never tire of that word.

Second, you MUST tell me where you got that adorable accordian soz I can buy one for my son!

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

RN- re: the tooth... i KNOW. everyone at thanksgiving wanted to yank that mother out. seeing that she was still holding strong at christmas, nobody even bothered.

WOMBAT- i found the accordion at TJ Maxx, but i also saw them at World Market. but this was all before the christmas "i gotta get an accordion" rush, so i would be surprised if there are any left. good luck!

© Things I Like to Eat (...and Other Nonsense), AllRightsReserved.

Designed by ScreenWritersArena