Disneyland 2013.

Remember last year, when we went to Disneyland and I posted a million photos that nobody cared about?

I'm doing it again.

We took our annual trip to Disneyland last month and guess what, it was hotter than hell. Like seriously. LA happened to be having a crazy, record-breaking heatwave. Which explains why we look like we just swam through a tsunami in all of these pictures.


DAY ONE

We hit up the shops at Downtown Disney and then drowned our empty wallet's sorrows at the hotel pool. With nothing to do during the whole ten minutes that it took the front desk to check us in, the girls got bored.

I'm bored. 

I entertained the girls by sweating profusely and showing off my corpse legs. 

They finally got their room keys and were stoked to start the "real" vacation.

LeT's PaRtY.

That night, we raged in the pool and stayed up late eating exotic foods, like hot dogs and snickerdoodles. I didn't take any pictures because I was busy chillaxing in a boiling hot jacuzzi that was filled with little while floaty things that Vicki pointed out were probably from an exploded diaper.


DAY TWO

We made it to the California Adventure entrance just a few minutes after they opened and were in the park in under 15 minutes. It was during that period that I began to question my earlier decision to spray every bare-skinned surface of my body with Hawaiian Tropic.

The girls plan their attack.

Yay! We're here!

Taking a breather to watch this mouse party like it's 1929.

Pearl, daydreaming about Ghiradelli waffle cones.

I'm pretty sure she was in the process of giving backwards peace fingers, but the timing on this one turned out to be spot on.

Chilled treats were necessary. It was uncomfortably hot. 

Tate, Vicki, and cousin Hope 

Pearl's favorite snack. Bleh. I can't wait till she outgrows this obsession. 

Celebrating her 7th birthday!

We had the power misters going all day long.

This photo is one of my favorites because of the context. Hope told Pearl about this ride called Goofy's Sky School. I think maybe Hope had learned about it from a classmate or something. Not knowing anything about it, both girls were excited. I, on the other hand, picked up on the screams coming from the area and decided to sit this one out. Eric and Tate went with the girls while Vicki and I sat in the shade. I managed to snap the photo above as they went looping by, but I couldn't tell if Pearl was enjoying it or not. Turns out, she hated it. Apparently, she started screaming right from the start and was in full bawl-mode by the time they got off. Lol.

Dinner at The House of Blues.

Watching beignets being made at Jazz Kitchen Express. Mmmm, so good- like a doughy pillow of powdered doughnut. But better.

Beignets. It's a must at Downtown Disney.

Can you tell we're exhausted and dripping with sweat? Of course you can.

On the way back to the parking structure. The heat had melted Pearl's spirit.

The end of another wonderful family vacation.

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Polygamy USA: The Hit TV Show!

Have you seen the reality show, Polygamy USA?

It follows several individuals and families who practice a sect of Mormonism that includes "plural marriage." They all live in a small community in Arizona called Centennial Park.

It's a really interesting show and I'm hooked.

And not in the way that I was hooked on Breaking Amish because that shit was totally fake and stupid and a waste of my time.

So according to polygamy life, "love" and marriage have nothing to do with being attracted to your mate. Instead, love comes in the form of a dream. But not like the ones where you dream about someone that you know and then you feel all awkward and embarrassed the next time you run into them. Instead, it's just a name that comes to you several times while you're asleep. If you're a late bloomer and your name doesn't come to you right away, you could even pray for it.

One girl on the show has been praying for it for years.

And if the name doesn't just come to you on its own, you make an appointment with "the brethren," who apparently have "a direct line to God." And then they basically just assign you to some random dude in the community.

Which leads to a lot of creepy and awkward moments.

Anyway, I don't think I'm giving away any spoilers when I say the girls on this show are the homeliest-looking, carbon-copied sister-wife inbreeds that I've ever seen.

Surprisingly, most of the young guys looks like your typical college kids.

Case in point: Kellie and Hyrum

Kellie received Hyrum's name in a dream, blah blah blah, they got married.

This is Hyrum.

Hi, nice to meet you good-looking guy.

Hyrum on his wedding day. Nice!


This is Kellie...

.
.
.
.
.
.

*screams*

Oh mah gaw. She looks like she's on The Walking Dead.

So this odd couple match-up had me wondering: are these young community members ever bummed out when they see who "God" has chosen for them? After all, they are still teenagers with raging hormones and 20/20 vision. Or are they so into their religion, that looks really mean absolutely nothing to them?

Thoughts?

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The Golden State.

Eric's birthday was a few weeks ago and we celebrated at one of his favorite eateries: The Golden State.

Located on Fairfax, between Melrose and Beverly, you could totally walk right past the place without ever knowing it exists. Much like my social life in high school.

The inside of the restaurant is small. There are maybe 10 tables in the whole place, and some of them are only two-seaters. 

We walked up to the counter and briefly looked over the menu. There aren't too many options, but I had looked online, so my chins were already quivering with excitement at the thought of a good burger. 

The guy working the counter was friendly and welcoming. He didn't rush us as I took my time deciding on a beer. I got the Victory Swing, btw. Great summer drink.

Eric and I both ordered The Burger. With a description like "Harris Ranch beef, Fiscalini Farms cheddar, glazed applewood smoked bacon, arugula, aioli, ketchup" it seemed like the perfect choice.

I'm just going to cut straight to the chase here:  This was the best burger I've ever had IN.MY.LIFE.

The meat was tender and juicy and flavorful. I didn't detect any spices in the ground beef, which meant it naturally tasted fucking delicious, which is totally crazy because I'm not a fan of "meat flavor" and guess what I totally loved it.

The bacon was thick and cooked perfectly. It wasn't soggy or charred.

The combination of the aioli and ketchup added just the right amount of savor and sauciness that it enhanced, not overpowered, the burger itself.

Also, I'm pretty sure the bun was a brioche. A freshly baked, almost-sweet, carby piece of brioche heaven.

The whole thing just tasted clean and naturally delicious. Not heavy or pumped full of flavorings.

Not much talking took place once our food was delivered.

If you're in the area, try to stop in. Let me know what you think. Seriously. Those burgers are the shiznit.

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Trying to Get Food and Failing Miserably.

Happy Memorial Day! Are you off from work today? I am and I'm celebrating by wearing man-shorts and Charlie Manson hair. I look good.

Disclaimer: This is a long story, but totally worth it in the end.

Last night around 7:45pm, my sister called and asked if we'd had dinner yet. It was impeccable timing because we were being lazy and had only started to open up some leftover freezer packages to throw together something I like to call "Leftover Cafeteria Special Food Surprise." Actually, I've never called it that, but I should because that's basically what it is. Anyway, my sister and her family, along with my mom, were going to our favorite "gourmet burger" restaurant and asked us to join. Not being ones to pass up good food, we threw all of our freezer odds n' ends into ziplock baggies and jumped in the car. 

When we got to the restaurant, we discovered the worst news of my life. 

It was closed.

Not, like, forever closed. Just closed because it was 8:00pm and apparently that's too late for a restaurant to be open on a holiday weekend.

After a short discussion in the parking lot, we opted to move our caravan over to Fatburger. However, by this point, we'd learned our lesson and Eric called ahead to check their hours. And of course, they closed at 8:30pm, which was about the time that we would be getting there.

Fuck.

Since we didn't want to waste any more precious time traveling to another location, because it was becoming apparent that all notable eateries close down at dusk, we decided to go to a chain restaurant called Buffalo Wild Wings because it was located nearby.

Immediately upon entering, I was punched in the face with the sour smell of buffalo sauce. It was sick. Not wanting to be the one to put us back on a restaurant-hunt, I sucked up my disdain and put our name in at the front desk. The host looked like a stereotypical meathead, prettyboy jock. Mouth-breather, for sure. He was rude and dumb and I'm sure his mother is very proud.

I grabbed a menu and looked through the shitfest to figure out what I could eat. Shock and awe, there was nothing. So, we ended up leaving the place five minutes after we'd gotten there. While standing outside, we decided to caravan our group of 10 over to BJ's Brewery. Eric called ahead and they were definitely open. Things were looking good.

Goodish, anyway.

We got to BJ's and what do you know, there's a 45 minute wait. 

By this point, it's 8:30pm, we have five hungry kids on our hands and we know our options are limited.

There happens to be an In-N-Out in the same shopping center as BJ's, so we settle on that and make our way over. 

As we pull into the parking area, a WHOLE BASEBALL TEAM OF HUNGRY TEENAGE GIRLS  RUNS INTO THE RESTAURANT. No joke, like 20 girls piled into In-N-Out, halfway sticking out of the front doors.

While my sister is standing in line (at the very back, practically in a different time zone), she spots an open booth. And even though it would probably be another two hours before we'd even get our food, we stake our claim. A few minutes later, another booth opens up and we take that one too. By this point, our group is pretty disorganized: Tanya is in line, Eric and I are at a booth, two kids are at the other booth. My mom and brother-in-law, Kenny, walk in and they're both shaking their heads, like "What the fuck are we still doing here when there are 200 amazon teenagers in front of us?" 

It was around this time that Kenny's car alarm goes off. Loudly. He had parked right at the front door, so it was obvious that it was his car. He pressed the alarm button on his keys and it turned off. Some re-evaluations took place and Eric and I decided to bail and just grab fast food. Faster than In-N-Out.

One our way home, I got the following text from my sister:

This conversation still makes me laugh.

Apparently, M. thought it would be a good idea to play a game of "Hide" in the car when everyone else got out. And since we'd been in a hurried frenzy to find a restaurant, it just so happened that nobody noticed he was missing. So while everyone was hanging out inside In-N-Out, M. was trying to make his way out of the minivan. Which also explains why Kenny's car alarm went off not once, but two times. 

Long story short (too late), after six failed dinner options (counting our original menu) and the chance to eat with my family, the three of us ended up eating McDonald's at 9:00pm back in our living room, by ourselves.

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Busy.

You know those days when you have so much stuff going on and you don't have time to think straight, or wash your hair, or enjoy a good TLC marathon of Four Weddings?

That fragile state of being-on-the-verge-of-homicide is precisely where I am right now.

My brain is like "OH MY GOD I HAVE A TON OF SHIT TO DO I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE THE FUCK TO START BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY TIME TO THINK ABOUT IT. It's been 12 years since I posted on my blog (not that anyone's noticed), I haven't uploaded any of the 5,238 photos from our Disneyland trip, Eric's birthday is just around the corner and A1 planning needs to take place, the laundry is practically walking itself to the trash can because, at this point, it's beyond washing, oh, and that new job is totally cramping my sleep-till-noon-and-wear-pajamas-all-day style!!!"

Since this is really just a filler post to make myself feel better (about myself), I'm not going to get all long-winded about anything in particular. But I will say that my new job is killer and they bring in free catered food and I work pretty much autonomously, which I love, and it's rad. Also, they bring in FREE CATERED FOOD.

My chins high-fived each other when they learned the good news.

Things are looking up, my friends.

This is not from my catered job, it's from Food Truck night. Whatever, you get the idea. 

I like food.

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Featured Wedding Venue: Madonna Inn

In our search for THE wedding venue, we decided to check out The Madonna Inn. And by "we," I think once you take a look at the place, it will be obvious that I mean me.

Photo courtesy of The Madonna Inn website

The Madonna Inn is a well-known hotel along California's central coast. It's pretty much famous for looking cuckoo and boasting over-the-top decor that would make even Liberace gasp in horror. 

I totally love it.

The hotel offers 110 bedrooms that each have very unique and defined themes. Some of my favorites include:

Old-Fashioned Honeymoon

Dez

 Romance

Austrian Suite

Jungle Rock

I can't help but think all of the kitschy design and flocked wallpaper and velveteen sofas would make for totally bitchin' wedding photo backdrops. Also, these rooms scream HOTEL ROOM PRE-PARTY!!! 

If you're anything like me, I'm sure you're bonkers in love with this place by now.

So we drove up to The Madonna Inn and checked out three of their rental venue spaces.

The first one we looked at was The Venetian Room. It's located on the lowest level and is decorated like Christmastime at The Olive Garden. It has a maximum capacity of 250 guests.

The next room we looked at was The Garden Room. It's located on the second floor and feels a little like a Swiss chalet. There are murals everywhere and it reminded me of the Griswold's European vacation. 

The room seemed pretty dark, but it's probably different when there's an actual event going on.

The last space we looked at was the stage area. This space is typically where the ceremony business goes down. According to the events coordinator, the staircase is usually a big selling point for brides who want to make a "grand" entrance. The room is decorated in red, pink, and gold and there are cherub statues. Also, this stage area opens up to the hotel's restaurant, so I imagine lookiloos would be watching while the wedded couple says their "I do's".

Along the way to the stage area is a fully-stocked bar and seating area.

The exterior of The Madonna Inn:

Check in and lobby 

The restaurant 

Located alongside the 101 

A statue of Alex Madonna (I think...)

if you're ever in the area, make sure to stop by The Madonna Inn. Also make sure to pick me up first because I've never actually stayed there and I'm dying to throw an impromptu photo shoot in one of those rooms.

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