A Year Ago Today.

A year ago today I was coming off of a three-day, bowel-cleansing bender. I was waking up early and making an exciting-slash-nervous drive into Santa Barbara. I was sitting in a waiting room with Eric, my mom, and sister. I was getting needles jabbed into my arms, pulling up dopey-looking grippy socks, and cracking jokes with people wearing scrubs. I was getting wheeled down long hallways and looking around at Dr. Frankenstein-looking medical equipment. I was trying to look alive as my mom and sister snapped drugged-out photos of me, laying on a stretcher, wearing a crown that read "Chili Peppers."

Today is ONE WHOLE YEAR since I had my big surgery.

You know, the one where I had my butt-guts pulled through my stomach and PART OF MY BOWEL WAS REMOVED.

It's hard for me to believe it's already been so long because I can still clearly remember my excitement at the thought of being "healthy." In fact, as crazy as it sounds, I STILL get excited when I think about my surgery! Not only was it the best decision I've ever made, it was such a positive experience for me. I loved- LOVED- my hospital stay. I still remember several of my nurses names and faces. Which makes me think, it's strange how brains holds tighter to some memories over others- for some reason, my brain tells me that I'm, like, best friends with these nurses. They were just so thoughtful and friendly, and I think because of the nature of the situation, their helpfulness was magnified that much more. (I guess getting catheterized multiple times or having post surgery tar-poops wiped from your butt by a team of complete strangers will do that to you.)

If you had asked me a year ago what my health would be like today, I think I would've probably had a different answer from how things actually turned out. I think both Eric and I were counting on my surgery to be the miracle drug for all of my ailments and that we would start churning out the kids in no time. Unfortunately, things don't always go according to plan. And while I could go on and on about how unfair life is, or how painful and torturous (and sometimes rude) people can be when endlessly bragging (or better yet, complaining) about their kids/ pregnancies, or what it's like to have to endure another Mother's Day as a non-mom, I'll save that rant for another day. I mean, everyone has something to complain about, right...?

I sent Thank You cards to all of my doctors, as well as the hospital staff yesterday. My doctors have selflessly gone beyond their obligatory scope of work and I'm SO grateful for all they've done for me. And while I'm sure they don't exactly sit around, feeling unappreciated, I sent the cards anyway because it's nice to be reminded.

Since my surgery- and recovery- I feel like I've gained my life back. I'll still never be 100% because an asshole named endometriosis ruined that forever, but I feel much healthier than I have in the past several years. Longer than I can remember.

Things are looking up, my friends.

Another perk, I never gained any of my pre-surgery weight back. Win-win. #HumbleBrag


Adam said...

that's good in turned out well. Never had surgery myself yet

Anonymous said...

CONGRATS on a year post gut surgery. So great to get everything handled then so you can now enjoy planning your wedding without worrying about the gut. HUZZAH!

Sara said...

I can't believe it's been a year already. And I'm praying for you guys all the time and hoping your (and my) lady bits get their shit together and make us some awesome babies. Love you.

Erin Kelley said...

Happy surgery-versary! I still have faith. Christina just passed the 2 year mark of her surgery in June and now she's 8 months pregnant. In any case I'm glad you have such a positive take on it and I hope it's helped you feel so much better when Aunt Flo stops by.

tara said...

Holy crap it's been a year! I read that post! In real time! Woot!

I'm really sorry about the non-churning out of babies. Can you have a surrogate? I know that totally wouldn't be the same, but closer. That really sucks though.

Fuck yeah no post-surgery weight gain!

TILTE said...

ADAM - Well, in case you ever end up needing surgery in the future, you know it can totally be something to look forward to!

ASHLEY - That's a good point. Having that 24/7 sick feeling while planning a wedding would have been a nightmare.

SARA - Thank you! I read your post about what you guys have been going through. I need to email you.

ERIN - Thanks! I'm really not as positive about the situation as I sound. I'm just trying to will myself into thinking I am. Erg.

TARA - I know, doesn't it seem unbelievable? Thanks for still reading! Eric and I have talked about getting a surrogate, but unless you personally know someone who's willing to do it for you, those fools are expensive. It's not out of the question, it's just not likely.

Number Whisperer said...

You should've posted your post surgery tiara shot.

your sister

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Yay, I remember it well. Was that really a year ago? I'm so glad that even if it's not the miracle you would have ideally wished for, that it was a vast improvement and that you have had a positive experience and it's getting better all the time. SO YAY! That pic of you guys is SO DAMN CUTE.

Also I'm with your sister. Tiara pic? I THINK SO.

MRanthrope said...

glad you've recovered well and are on the road to marriage/full blown adult life.

I had surgery in 2010 on my vocal cords and not a day goes by where I'm not super stoked to be talking like normal humans again.

No idea what happened to those cool hospital socks they gave me though...

Kara said...

I remember reading about your surgery a year ago and really, really feeling for you!! It sounds like you've made a positive turnaround and are finally able to enjoy yourself! Here's to many more years of good pooping!

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