Wedding Cakes: A Never Ending Saga

I'm going to complain about wedding cake tasting. Which sounds stupid, I know. But just wait until you hear the whole story, then you'll really think it's stupid.

Bakery #1: I had to email and call the baker several times, reminding her that I was waiting to hear back. I was told by a staff member that they only offer cake tastings during the week from 12 - 3pm. But was told a different time by the actual baker. We finally made it to the tasting and guess what it sucked. Both the frosting and the cakes were greasy as shit. Not to mention, the baker wasn't payin' no mind to the simple style of cakes we were describing, but instead, pointing to photos of brightly colored, obnoxious, fondant cakes that she has made. Barf.

Basically, this was the baker. Except not as cute.

Bakery #2: I was lucky enough to speak directly with the baker on my first call. She was a little busy and asked that I call right back and leave my info so she could call me back. There were a few days of phone tag. We had a tentative time set up to talk shop, but that time came and went. Turns out, she was actually really busy because her son was graduating that week. More phone tag. We finally catch each other... and she tells me that she's a small-time baker and not equipped to serve such a large party. She could have told me that about 10 calls sooner. Ugh.

Bakery #3: Emailed a few times with the baker. Filled out an online form with all of our wedding details, including cake flavors. Scheduled a cake tasting. Two days before the appointment, I emailed to confirm. Only then did she respond saying that her husband's grandchild passed away and that they had to cancel. When she got back, more delayed follow up. This time, it happened to be because her son was coincidentally getting married that very week. By this point, I'd given up interest. However, she followed up with me in an attempt to reschedule, so we went along with it because A) she might have totally bitchin cakes, and B) it could have been bad timing with the other things going on. She said she would email me some paperwork immediately. Two days later, I still hadn't received it. Over it.

Bakery #4: Loved the baker and the cakes! Didn't love the price. Wah.

Bakery #5: Phone tag AGAIN. After a couple of weeks, baker leaves me a voicemail apologizing for being MIA. Apparently, her mother is sick in the hospital and she had to rush out of state to be with her. I give her the benefit of the doubt and we continue with the phone tag business. She seems super nice, so I continue to waste my time. I leave her a voicemail recapping all of the wedding details and mention that we would like to make a decision by next weekend. The next day, she calls with news that she will be traveling to another state, then having foot surgery, and will be out of commission for the next month. Considering that our wedding is just around the corner, she's off the list. Fucking aye, by this point I'm expecting to see Allen Funt at any moment.

Bakery #6: Great cakes! Loved this place. Ready to seal the deal! Then we find out our wedding venue is out of their delivery zone. Fuuuuuuuuuug.


We have one bakery left to try this week and then a decision will be made.

CAN I JUST GET SOME FUCKING CAKE?!?!

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DIY Craft Banner.

Here at the TILTE house, we like to celebrate our birthdays for as long as possible. Since my birthday is April 1st, Eric will put my birthday banner up about a week ahead of time and then I usually leave it up clear through the month. When May comes around, I switch to the birthday banner for Eric and Pearl since both of their birthdays are in May.

Last month, I made a new banner for the two of them. I'm really not very good at being artsy or creative or making things that look aesthetically pleasing, so I was pretty proud of myself when I managed to pull off the banner below. So proud, in fact, I'm going to pretend that these DIY things haven't already been spread all over the internet a million times and I'm going to give you the step-by-step like I just came up with it on my own.

For this completely one of a kind, crafty, "celebration" banner, you will need:

-Small booklet of scrapbooking papers (these sheets are the perfect size for creating banners)
-Twine
-Adhesive letters
-Scissors
-Hole punch

Step One: Create the flags
Cut an upside-down V, from each of the bottom corners and going up towards the middle, into the bottom of one of your crafting papers. Once you have one paper that looks like a good flag, use it as a template for the rest of your flags. The crafting paper booklet that I bought had variety of prints and colors, which worked out nicely for the "homemade, rustic, shabby chic Martha Stewart" look.

Step Two: Letter Your flags
If the store's discount bin has already been picked through and some of your letters are missing, don't fret. Just buy extra letters that you can use to make the ones you need. I did this with some Rs and an I. I also used some ampersands for the As.

Borrrrrred. Play with me.

Step Three: Hole punch
Punch two holes along the top of your flags- this is where the twine will go.

Step Four: String your flags
Line up your letters and start stringing with the very last letter, working your way backwards.

Step Five: Hang it!
Step back and enjoy the fruits of your labor.

Leave it up for seven weeks and high-five yourself every time you see it.

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Peanut Butter Cookies.

Last month, we celebrated my nephew's birthday. It was a potluck of sorts and I was in charge of the dessert. Since he doesn't like cake, but does like cookies, I went with snickerdoodles and peanut butter.

Mrs. Field's Soft and Chewy Peanut Butter Cookies

Unfortunately, I didn't get an "after" shot because I was running late and cookies don't last long enough to even cool off around these parts. I will confess that they came out a little flat for my liking, but that didn't stop partygoers from pigging out. Seriously, I think everyone commented on how good they were. I even tried a cookie myself, you know, just to test the merchandise, and I have to admit, they were gooood. Soft and buttery and not too peanutty. They were a fucking hit.

These cookies are super easy to make and only require a few ingredients. Try it out the next time you have friends over. -Or the next time you feel like secretly binging out on three dozen cookies while your significant other is at the Home Depot.

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Disneyland 2013.

Remember last year, when we went to Disneyland and I posted a million photos that nobody cared about?

I'm doing it again.

We took our annual trip to Disneyland last month and guess what, it was hotter than hell. Like seriously. LA happened to be having a crazy, record-breaking heatwave. Which explains why we look like we just swam through a tsunami in all of these pictures.


DAY ONE

We hit up the shops at Downtown Disney and then drowned our empty wallet's sorrows at the hotel pool. With nothing to do during the whole ten minutes that it took the front desk to check us in, the girls got bored.

I'm bored. 

I entertained the girls by sweating profusely and showing off my corpse legs. 

They finally got their room keys and were stoked to start the "real" vacation.

LeT's PaRtY.

That night, we raged in the pool and stayed up late eating exotic foods, like hot dogs and snickerdoodles. I didn't take any pictures because I was busy chillaxing in a boiling hot jacuzzi that was filled with little while floaty things that Vicki pointed out were probably from an exploded diaper.


DAY TWO

We made it to the California Adventure entrance just a few minutes after they opened and were in the park in under 15 minutes. It was during that period that I began to question my earlier decision to spray every bare-skinned surface of my body with Hawaiian Tropic.

The girls plan their attack.

Yay! We're here!

Taking a breather to watch this mouse party like it's 1929.

Pearl, daydreaming about Ghiradelli waffle cones.

I'm pretty sure she was in the process of giving backwards peace fingers, but the timing on this one turned out to be spot on.

Chilled treats were necessary. It was uncomfortably hot. 

Tate, Vicki, and cousin Hope 

Pearl's favorite snack. Bleh. I can't wait till she outgrows this obsession. 

Celebrating her 7th birthday!

We had the power misters going all day long.

This photo is one of my favorites because of the context. Hope told Pearl about this ride called Goofy's Sky School. I think maybe Hope had learned about it from a classmate or something. Not knowing anything about it, both girls were excited. I, on the other hand, picked up on the screams coming from the area and decided to sit this one out. Eric and Tate went with the girls while Vicki and I sat in the shade. I managed to snap the photo above as they went looping by, but I couldn't tell if Pearl was enjoying it or not. Turns out, she hated it. Apparently, she started screaming right from the start and was in full bawl-mode by the time they got off. Lol.

Dinner at The House of Blues.

Watching beignets being made at Jazz Kitchen Express. Mmmm, so good- like a doughy pillow of powdered doughnut. But better.

Beignets. It's a must at Downtown Disney.

Can you tell we're exhausted and dripping with sweat? Of course you can.

On the way back to the parking structure. The heat had melted Pearl's spirit.

The end of another wonderful family vacation.

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Polygamy USA: The Hit TV Show!

Have you seen the reality show, Polygamy USA?

It follows several individuals and families who practice a sect of Mormonism that includes "plural marriage." They all live in a small community in Arizona called Centennial Park.

It's a really interesting show and I'm hooked.

And not in the way that I was hooked on Breaking Amish because that shit was totally fake and stupid and a waste of my time.

So according to polygamy life, "love" and marriage have nothing to do with being attracted to your mate. Instead, love comes in the form of a dream. But not like the ones where you dream about someone that you know and then you feel all awkward and embarrassed the next time you run into them. Instead, it's just a name that comes to you several times while you're asleep. If you're a late bloomer and your name doesn't come to you right away, you could even pray for it.

One girl on the show has been praying for it for years.

And if the name doesn't just come to you on its own, you make an appointment with "the brethren," who apparently have "a direct line to God." And then they basically just assign you to some random dude in the community.

Which leads to a lot of creepy and awkward moments.

Anyway, I don't think I'm giving away any spoilers when I say the girls on this show are the homeliest-looking, carbon-copied sister-wife inbreeds that I've ever seen.

Surprisingly, most of the young guys looks like your typical college kids.

Case in point: Kellie and Hyrum

Kellie received Hyrum's name in a dream, blah blah blah, they got married.

This is Hyrum.

Hi, nice to meet you good-looking guy.

Hyrum on his wedding day. Nice!


This is Kellie...

.
.
.
.
.
.

*screams*

Oh mah gaw. She looks like she's on The Walking Dead.

So this odd couple match-up had me wondering: are these young community members ever bummed out when they see who "God" has chosen for them? After all, they are still teenagers with raging hormones and 20/20 vision. Or are they so into their religion, that looks really mean absolutely nothing to them?

Thoughts?

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The Golden State.

Eric's birthday was a few weeks ago and we celebrated at one of his favorite eateries: The Golden State.

Located on Fairfax, between Melrose and Beverly, you could totally walk right past the place without ever knowing it exists. Much like my social life in high school.

The inside of the restaurant is small. There are maybe 10 tables in the whole place, and some of them are only two-seaters. 

We walked up to the counter and briefly looked over the menu. There aren't too many options, but I had looked online, so my chins were already quivering with excitement at the thought of a good burger. 

The guy working the counter was friendly and welcoming. He didn't rush us as I took my time deciding on a beer. I got the Victory Swing, btw. Great summer drink.

Eric and I both ordered The Burger. With a description like "Harris Ranch beef, Fiscalini Farms cheddar, glazed applewood smoked bacon, arugula, aioli, ketchup" it seemed like the perfect choice.

I'm just going to cut straight to the chase here:  This was the best burger I've ever had IN.MY.LIFE.

The meat was tender and juicy and flavorful. I didn't detect any spices in the ground beef, which meant it naturally tasted fucking delicious, which is totally crazy because I'm not a fan of "meat flavor" and guess what I totally loved it.

The bacon was thick and cooked perfectly. It wasn't soggy or charred.

The combination of the aioli and ketchup added just the right amount of savor and sauciness that it enhanced, not overpowered, the burger itself.

Also, I'm pretty sure the bun was a brioche. A freshly baked, almost-sweet, carby piece of brioche heaven.

The whole thing just tasted clean and naturally delicious. Not heavy or pumped full of flavorings.

Not much talking took place once our food was delivered.

If you're in the area, try to stop in. Let me know what you think. Seriously. Those burgers are the shiznit.

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