The Story of TILTE, as Told by TILTE (AKA It's My Birthday So I'm Making This One All About Me).

My birthday is coming up this weekend and I'm pretty sure it's going to be a bust. This is why: It's on a Sunday, which means A) It will get overlooked by coworkers and B) People are either hungover or doing dumb family shit.

I guess that's all fine and well, it's not like it's a special-number birthday or anything. I'm going to be the magical age of 32, which means absolutely nothing in the spectrum of "special birthdays".

I always fancy myself as being much more important than I really am and usually like to celebrate with "Birthday Week", a time in which I don't acknowledge anyone else's plans and typically fall asleep elbows deep in a bag of taco flavored Doritos. (Just kidding, taco flavor only came out a year ago.) (It's usually nacho flavored.)

So if you don't have anything better to do, head over to my Facebook page and say Happy Birthday! Or ask me any question you want! I'll answer it as long as it's not creepy.



For now, I'm going to tell you the story of TILTE, based on photos found on my Facebook, Myspace, and Photobucket accounts.


Once upon a time, TILTE was born. Actually, it wasn't really "once upon a time" so much as it was actually April 1, 1980. She had a head full of crazy fucked up hair that is an embarrassment even to this day. Thank God it didn't take long for her to get cute.



She did all the usual kid stuff like hoard neighborhood cats and sneak bites out of the butter stick when no one was looking.

She made it all the way through kid'dom without ever breaking a bone or getting majorly busted for anything.

In high school, she studied French and spent her free time making collages and reading Choose Your Own Adventure books doing super cool things like riding in convertables and hanging out with celebrities.

She also went to prom with her cousin.

Although I can't put my finger on why she could never get a date.

In college, she dyed her hair all kinds of ridiculous colors that were completely unnatural for someone of her ethnicity (What is her ethnicity anyway...?).



There was also a lot of this...





After college, she backpacked through all the important countries in Europe.



She liked it so much, she made the move to London.


And married a Brit.


...And then divorced a Brit.


Along the way, she was blessed with the beautiful and talented, Biscuit the WonderDog.


She spent several years working in a dental office.



And then someone very special came into her life.


And brought along one of these.



And now her days are filled with things like this:


...and this:



...and this.


And she wouldn't have it any other way.

The end.


Wasn't that a good story?