-However, I only fell in love with it long enough to finish my one semester.
I've been thinking about reigniting the old competitive Swan Lake flame in me and taking it back up again. After looking into some local places to see which classes were available for adults of my caliber, I decided to go to my first class this past Friday night.
This is how it went.
Friday afternoon: Brag about my new ballet class and how totally fit I'm going to be.
Friday 5pm: Start to get nervous about all the primo ballerinas that are going to eyeball my thunder thighs the instant I walk into the studio.
Friday 6pm: Arrive at class and introduce myself to another newbie. She replies that we actually already know each other. Smooth first impression: Check.
Friday 6:20pm: While doing my first grand plié, fall over on the floor. As I'm not sure how I actually looked while falling over, I imagine it was something similar to a cat when you put a sweater on it.
Friday 6:30pm: Sweat like a pig in a 400 degree oven.
Friday 7:15pm: Instructor asks me what I'm doing (as I'm attempting to imitate the flamboyant bouncy movement across the studio). Reply with "I have no idea. I think I'm making up my own dance."
Friday 7:30pm: Thank the instructor and swear I'll be back next week.
Friday 7:45: Rehydrate with a White Russian.
Friday 8pm: Get grease stains on my tights thanks to the El Pollo Loco sitting in my lap.
I should also mention ballet is tough as shit. My legs were quaking within 10 minutes of barre work. By the end, my legs felt like someone was jamming a liposuction vacuum straw up and down my muscles. That's not an exaggeration, by the way.
Since then, my leg muscles have been going through varying degrees of pain. And at night I pretty much just sleep in the same position all night because it takes too much effort to move.
I should also mention, everyone in my class was super nice. No one gave me the up-and-down. Except for my own eyes when I caught a glimpse of myself from behind in the mirrored walls and thought it was Bruce Vilanche.
I'll keep you posted on how super fit I'm getting.