3.21.2011

Bloggers: I Don't Get Them.

I recently read an entry by The Tsaritsa about a recent run-in she had with another blogger. Now, I don't know anything about the blogger in question (I've actually never heard of her before), so I'm not trying to bash on anyone. But what I did find really interesting were the some of the points The Tsaritsa has noticed about bloggers in general:

"- Egotists will say anything to make themselves sound better than they actually are.

- Super self-absorbed people have a hard time taking a good look at their own reflection, oddly enough, and seeing themselves for who they truly are.

- If an egomaniac disagrees with your opinion, they will delete your comments, no matter how level-headed you were in your post. It's their way or the highway-- either you agree with their opinion or you have no opinion at all-- which only serves to make them look like an even bigger egotist."

It was actually perfect timing when I read this post because I'd just had a conversation with a friend about a very similar topic. This friend and I used to follow a blogger who seemed funny and cool and like someone we'd probably hang out with in real life. At one point, I emailed the blogger asking about some vitamins or something that she had mentioned in her blog. We emailed a few times and I thought we were buddies, so I sent her a friend request on Facebook. Well, apparently that was too hot for the blogger to handle because she straight up immediately changed her profile to Undercover Brother status, denied my olive branch of friendship, and didn't respond to any more emails. I was a little "WTF- I thought we were friends!!!", but eventually got over it.

I kept following her blog for a while, until it seemed like it was starting to take on a different tone. All of a sudden, everything was about how great and funny and cute she is. Her followers started multiplying by the hundreds, all of them kissing her butt with every comment they left. Her blog was no longer a snarky look at life, it was about the blogger stroking her own ego. My interest waned and it didn't take long for me to unfollow.

Sometime later, I learned that the blogger was in some kind of online contest. She was bitter and hateful because (Gasp!) someone else was in first place. Apparently, the blogger wrote an entry being catty and immature about the first-place blogger, which in turn, got her army of darkness to go to the other girl's blog and leave rude comments. So my friend commented on her blog with something like "You shouldn't make fun of her just because you're in second place- she's winning fair and square." (Or something to that effect.) Well, that just set the blogger's face on fire because apparently she emailed my friend several times going apeshit. And OF COURSE her followers jumped on my friend like flies on shit. I guess this went on for several days until the blogger realized my friend wasn't playing along.

So this brings me to the question: What the fuck is going on with bloggers who think they're the shit? Is it something that happens when you hit the 600 follower mark? Or does it happen when you get 85 buttkissing comments in a row?? (Which, by the way, seems sooo boring to me.) If so, don't worry friends, we've got a loooooong time before that shit happens here. I may joke about being hilarious and famous, but we all know it's a joke. I don't take myself seriously and I especially love my readers because they comment like normal human beings, not starstruck morons. (And I'd like to add, I basically approve all comments unless they are making fun of other people in my blog. Making fun of me is fine- Making fun of my friends and family, not fine.) If you disagree with me or think something I said is crazy, tell me. I'm not going to turn into a pile of ash because you have a different opinion.

In a totally separate, but somewhat related note- I was reading another blogger's entry recently where he asked for readers' opinions. So I left mine. I was honest, but made sure to still be respectful. I even asked Boyfriend to read it over and make sure it wasn't rude or offensive in any way. It got a thumbs up from him, so I posted. Not even an hour later, the comment was deleted. No sign of it anywhere. Why do bloggers ask for opinions if they don't really want them? Any answer, as long as it's respectful should be valid, right...? When I ask questions in my blog, it's because I really want to know what you think, not because I want you to agree with me. -Unless I actually do want you to agree with me, in which case I'll say "What do you think? -Just agree with me."

When you have a blog, you're putting yourself out there to be liked or not liked. I'm okay with not being liked. I mean, let's call a ham a ham- I want people to like me and think I'm entertaining and maybe I also hope one day Ellen Degeneres will read this and ask me to be on her show. But I'm still okay with the fact that this blog isn't for everyone. When you blog, do you expect everyone to see things your way, or are you open to other points of view...?


PS: Ellen- I'm waiting for the call.

41 comments:

Danielle said...

Your blog is fucking stupid.

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

<3

theTsaritsa said...

I accept the good with the bad and when I ask for an opinion I will gladly accept people who disagree. But some people just want you to stroke their ego and be their sycophant. Those people suck.

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

TSARITSA - those people suckophant.

Megs said...

It's fine if people disagree with me on my blog (respectful-ish-ly. You don't have to worry about my feelings but you can't make racist or vulgar statements...that kind of thing)but so far no one has. It seems like mostly people who disagree with me just go on about their business.

I can never stand to comment on a post with 600 comments. A. Someone has more than likely said what I want to say. B. I don't want to have to read through that many comments to be sure someone said what I wanted to say.

abbyhasissues.com said...

Amen.
I will never be like that and no longer read many blogs because they turned all "look at me and my tiny bowl of oatmeal" or something similar.

If you put yourself out there to get a pat on the back, don't ask for my honesty. I imagine these people secretly perform small voodoo animal sacrifices towards anyone that doesn't blow smoke up their blog ass.

Be you. Take it or leave it. ;)

StephanieC said...

WTF is the point of asking for peoples (obviously) varying opinions if all you want is one way?

That's just silly.

And the point of (at least my) attempt at a humour blog is just that - to have fun and laugh.

I'm the FIRST person to make fun of myself.

I was bullied enough in high school, I don't want or have the energy to deal with that shit now.

Bloggers like that are idiots.

The only comments I have deleted? The ones that users delete themselves that say "this comment has been deleted by the author" or whatever.

Or if you are plain ignorant or spammy, but I am not popular enough for that shizz. lol.

S

suki said...

Usually if I vehemently disagree to everything the person writes, rather than leaving a nasty comment, I just don't read their blog anymore. Simple. I find it strange that people take all this SOOO seriously. Sure, some use it as a platform to work on their writing, so if the criticism is constructive and ASKED FOR,...

Whatever, I don't get people. :p

MRanthrope said...

I thoroughly enjoy the cat fight qualities of all the inter-blogger drama. I mostly deal with cyber trolls on my lowly blog and don't have to worry about such things.

Jules said...

I'm totally open to different points of view. Especially if you see things my way.

Rene/ Not The Rockefellers said...

relax, write and don't take the whole thing seriously
No one is ever gonna be as cool as Dooce
No one
write good shit
love your regular readers
write some more
that's all
and when it stops being fun
move on

Nikosmommy said...

Yup, there is definitely way too much ass-kissing and narcissism the world of blogging. People want to be praised, and complimented but can't take the heat when we leave a "real" comment.
What I especially dislike is when you leave an honest, thought out comment and because you shared too much of your own opinion or experience about the product/idea/destination or whatever the post is about, the blogger won't post your comment because they feel threatened/bothered by your abundance of knowledge on the topic thus making them look bad?!
Ok maybe this has just happened to me...but if I share a comment it's because i care enough to do so. Not cuz I'm trying to sound smarter or more knowledgeable then the writer!

Simone Says... said...

given the opportunity humans will ruin anything and everything. just write. write. write.

Kara said...

Yeah, bloggers can be total twats sometimes. Honestly I just like to write my blog the way I want to write it...not in a way that will get me 238942938472 new followers, comments or sponsorships. I dig the huge bloggers too, but i only follow the ones I think are actually legit in real life.

Like you, duh.

Coyote Rose said...

And this is why we all love you... okay enough ass kissing for now.

I don't understand people who resort to name calling in an argument. It's so juvenile. Furthermore, making fun of someone just because they are more popular is kind of silly. I mean we all have haters and we all have people who love us, doesn't mean we have to start taking ourselves seriously.

I don't mind people with a different viewpoint. But i will delete comments that are generally name-calling and making gross overstatements that are offensive towards me or my readers. If you can't respectfully disagree with someone, you don't deserve to be publish on my blog.

Elizabeth said...

If you weren't family I'd still read your shit. And it isn't just bloggers that get their chones in a bunch. I've seen it on fb and other sites too. If one didn't want others thoughts, then said person should place posts.

Biscuit said...

thanks for the wild blog chase, i just relived the whole story.

figures that assknob is from my state, like an hour away. figures. I don't get people that are self-proclaimed blog police. BLOGGING IS SELF INVOLVED, no matter the content. We're all here because, uh, LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEE. (why else would you think anyone gives a shit about your nail polish? ass.)

Ugh, this is exactly why i DO have comment moderation. MY BLOG, MY RULES.

TILTE FOR PRESIDENT.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I'm sorry, you didn't mention ME in this entry even once, so I'm going to have to unfollow you and send my giant readership of five over here to say mean things about your hair and how you're a whore. :)

I have also known people like those you mentioned. It's the biggest turn off. I end up all agitated and indignant because people think that because they can whore out their blogs any damn where and troll for followers, that they're a giant superstar, therefore, can act like a spoiled princess, whereas come on. It's a blog. We all have them. Anyone can have one. And we've all seen blogs with a thousand followers who write complete tripe. Silly egotists and their overgrown senses of grandeur.

Ashley, The Accidental Olympian said...

Longest comment of life, deleted by blogger.


DAMN YOU BLOGGER.

Basically I was trying to say that I agree 150%. Down with the internet snobs.

Shieldmaiden96 said...

Loved this. I guess I'm the laziest blogging whore in creation because I can't even be arsed to 'market myself' and get excited if my comments pass the 15 mark.

Lately some bloggers I've enjoyed have taken a sharp left turn into Crazytown. I don't get the super-confessional disaster strewn posts that result in a nuclear holocaust if someone has the temerity to suggest that the person is a bit of a diva and attention addict. Perhaps I'm drama-averse. Or simply no longer in 8th grade.

Roxanne and Lorraine said...

I think blogging is just like the whole rest of life, whether it be your job, school, the lunch table, etc. In other words, there are douchebags err'where and unfortunately we can't escape them on the 'nets either.

I was following a blog too, that I thought was funny and snarky. It's gotten rather popular as of late, and it's just turned into a this big love fest. Mostly it's the author loving herself, and it blows. Not funny, not snarky, and she does dumb things and when people comment and say, "hey that was dumb," she gets high and mighty. Ugh. I'm so happy we have unfollow buttons. :)

Also, have I ever told you that zomg I love you and your blog? ;)

Lor

Kim said...

Yeah, I totally agree. I'm also a super lazy blogger and never market myself, I just like to write. And sometimes I feel SUPER GUILTY about that. But then I remember that the more controversial, big name bloggers, deal with much more poo on a regular basis than I care to and I'm all "yay! I have three followers! Big win!"

Man. I love Ellen.

Marie a la Mode said...

I'm open to other people's views, as long as they're not nasty. And I'm not really into bloggers who post 20 pictures of themselves, in the same clothes, with the same makeup on, etc. you know what I mean? Two or three is enough!

Wombat Central said...

Mmmm. Ham. What? Oh. Yes. {ahem}

I never did understand the mentality of the butt kissing that goes on. I'll read a post and think, "meh," and then a couple forty dozen readers will LOL the crap out of it. I'm also happy to say I have no knowledge of the popularity contests that go on.

Sometimes it's good to be mediocre. :)

Bonnie said...

I want to punch that blogger in the face.

We all know I am an egotistical bitch. It's what I do. It's how I roll. I know I'm hot. I know I'm fucking awesome. I know that everyone wants to be me.

I also know that, 90% of the time, I am completely full of shit.

Serious egotists can kiss my ass.

http://glamkittenslitterbox.blogspot.com/
Twitter: @GlamKitten88

Erin said...

'Tis true. Many bloggers are assmunchers on an ego-trip. It's a really weird phenomenon. And strangely, those particular types of boring bloggers have LOTS of followers. ME NO UNDERSTAND.

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

SUKI - exactly, i'm the same way! if i keep disagreeing with what a blogger writes about (or if i lose interest), i just stop following.

JULES - i'm glad we see eye to eye on the topic.

RENE - when i first started blogging, someone told me i need to join Dooce and get all up in the blogging community. so i went to the site and sent a request to join. the guy never approved me. (you hear that dooce- 11 months later and i'm still waiting to be approved...)

NIKO - it's funny that you've noticed some bloggers won't approve your comments because they're long and personal. that's actually why i love your comments- i know i can count on something entertaining. :)

BISCUIT - i'll let you know when i start my campaign.

VEG ASS - that's my point exactly. the blogger i was following is just a normal average person who, somewhere along the line, developed a case of the inflated ego. i remember at one point she mentioned in her blog that she loves all the comments and wishes she was able to respond to them or follow her readers' blogs in return, but that she didn't have the time. WTF. so basically, she expects other people to invest their time in her blog, but she can't do the same for them. ruuuuuude.

SHIELDMAIDEN - thanks for visiting! you make a good point. some bloggers just expect to be treated like royalty. and when a reader comes along and leaves a comment that differs from their opinion, they flip out and have a mental short circuit.

WOMBAT - that's funny about "a couple forty dozen readers will LOL the crap out of it" because i've noticed those ones too. commenters will be all over the blogger about how funny/ interesting they are and i'll be thinking to myself "are we talking about the same entry...?"

ERIN - yes!! it's the one-trick-pony blogs with nothing going on that have the most followers. Boyfriend and i were talking about this the other day. our theory has to do with how there are lots of "sheep" in the world. and since it takes no thought to comment something like "You're so cute!" or "LOL!", you see a lot more of those types of comments.

Val said...

I love this post !!! You rock!

BlackLOG said...

The problem is that bloggers are not always what they seem, with the obscurity afforded by the internet it is all too easy to take on a persona that is not really them. While the written word is brilliant it can’t portray the emotion that can be picked up when having a conversation or provide an opportunity to read body language as in a face to face. …..

Not that I always notice this in real life (being male my sensitivity levels are not as a tuned as you ladies) but at least if someone bursts into tears in front of me, I can probably work out that something is not right. While if they are crying into their keyboard not so easy to pickup – perhaps someone could invent an emotion keyboard….

From experience if they burst into flames I have only two options, make them cry really hard, in order to extinguish the flames or exit stage left realising the conversation has got way too hot for me to handle….

I remember a few years back I had what I thought was a great blogging relationship with someone, lots of comments and replies on our respective blogs until one day, without notice, they removed all my comments. To this day I have no idea what I had done to offend them. I sent an email to them asking if I had upset them in some way….nothing… this other blogger knew what my humour can be like and had appeared to be happy to join in. I decided if they wanted to play it that way it was their loss….

Bloggerhead- getting too big for your blog
Like sports and film stars if enough people tell you how great you are, eventually you start falling for the hype, human nature I’m afraid. I must admit I would rather just one comment on the content of my blog than 100 saying how wonderful it is …..I also have the advantage of Mrs B who helps keep me grounded and stops the worst of my excesses by telling me not to be such a arse if I start straying towards the pretentious….

Point of view
Since I love playing devil’s advocate I would be mortified if everyone agreed with me, especially as I don’t even agree with myself most of the time…

Deborah said...

LOVE THIS!

I've been astounded at the level of weirdness out there, but peeps is weird! They (and me) just are!

The other crazy thing (you totally have this spot on) is a blogger with 600 comments kissing their ass will OBSESS about one freekin' comment that doesn't kiss their ass. Wha?

But I apparently hurt feelings all over creation so what do I know? ^..^

Some people additionally seem to have so much free time! The twittering I see going on from some of my bloggy-buds is overwhelming! I didn't seem to have that much free time even when I didn't have a job.

In closing - (get to the point Deborah) I LOVE differing opinions. It's what is peeps!

Deidre said...

I've wondered about this as well. For the most part I find the blogging community to be very welcoming and open and supportive but sometimes it's just not.

When Ellen calls you, tell her I'd love to dance with her sometime, no pressure. and she's totally invited to my wedding - even though I am not sure when it will be.

aaron said...

So here's the deal. I keep getting wrangled in by my buddy to read this godforsaken blog, and while I usually get through about 2 sentences before I'm forced to shut my computer off from fear of punching my screen in frustration with how lame it is, I am intrigued by this latest note.
You see, I know your type...you find yourself unusually witty and somehow your followers are drinking the kool-aid. You probably set up shop at Starbucks Coffee, sip a latte and take smoke breaks every 10 min. You don't hold a real job, and undoubtedly you blame it on the economy. Finally your feet probably stink like warm domestic beer and sharp cheddar cheese.
Id hook up with you after a six pack...but I'd undoubtedly shower for six hours..

BTW do you have a good red velvet cupcake recipe??

Thug in a Cocktail Dress said...

I'm totally following your blog now due to this post!

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

BLACKLOG - i think you make a great point: bloggers (or anyone with an online account) aren't necessarily who they seem. i think sitting behind a computer gives some people the ability to creat their own personality. and sometimes, when you call them out on it, they don't know what to do.

DEBS - yeah, there's a LOT of weirdness out there...

AARON - i'm not sure where all your negativity is coming from, but i usually try to keep the name calling to a minimum around here. to address your synopsis of me: i don't drink coffee, i don't smoke, i do have a regular job, and my feet don't smell like anything. thanks for taking the time to read and comment, but maybe you should check out some other blogs, instead of mine, from now on. i mean, i wouldn't want you to punch your screen or anything. that would be horrible.

THUG - thanks for following!

drollgirl said...

sometimes blogs remind me of HIGH SCHOOL, which is super annoying. it can be like a popularity contest. or maybe i am just bitter and cranky because i don't have 600 followers yet. LOL! mostly i get comments that make me laugh. mostly. every now and again there is a turdy comment, but such is life. :)

hope you have a great weekend! and your comment today made me laugh and laugh!

hed said...

I'm so late on commenting!

I get weirded out when people e-mail me instead of comment when its something normal, like "good post!"Why not just comment on my blog? And there are other people that follow my blog then send chain e-mails like "if you don't pray RIGHT NOW and send this to 10 people you will be damned to hell". How do you bring that up with a loyal reader? "Hey, please don't send me your bullshit, thanks for reading!"

Kinda got off topic...but yeah I have only deleted one comment, and that's when a reader called out a fellow reader for no good reason. Don't catfight on my blog!

Hed

Brooke Farmer said...

I think I've just been lucky. All of the bloggers I've interacted with in any meaningful way have been awesome. The Bloggess included and she is WAY past the 600 followers mark.

I have actually found a pretty amazing community of people through blogging and am grateful for each and every one of them.

GoodTimesDad said...

I know I wasn't the one that deleted your comment when I asked for an opinion, so I'm safe. Phew!

I stopped following a guy's blog a few years ago because we got into a little "joking" back and forth in the comments and it became obvious that he could dish it but not take it when he deleted my response. That was it, I stopped reading him then and there (he's a friend of my cousin).

I'm generally not a fan of people who take themselves too seriously, whether blogging or not.

All that said, maybe I should contact the blogger you wrote about and find out how to multiply my followers by the hundreds!

Brooke said...

Dramalicious! I would love some hate comments. Come on over & leave me some. Please!

lex [lexinthecity] said...

I just found you, and I'm glad I did!
My wee blog is "humorous" (it's only funny to me), and I get that people might not enjoy it, but I also hope that they don't leave hateful comments. But that's it, anything else goes. Except one time when I was trolled and received death threats.
I like you, and your blog, especially the food.

P.J. said...

I honestly have no issues with anyone disagreeing with me. I just am happy when they comment! As long as it's done respectfully and doesn't show the person to be bad or obnoxious, I have no issues.

I worked in newspapers for several years. I have heard a lot of negative stuff, so I think I have built a decently thick skin!

Good post. Glad I stumbled across it and your blog. I like your style! :)

A 'lil HooHaa

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