Last night, handsome boyfriend (that's right, I said boyfriend) came up with the wicked idea of having cheese for dinner. :::Match.Made.in.Heaven::: He researched some recipes and even stopped at the store ALL ON HIS OWN to pick up the goods for a fancyass fondue.

8 ounces shredded cheddar cheese
8 ounces shredded emmental cheese (we subbed Swiss)
1 clove garlic
1 (12-ounce) can beer
2 tablespoons flour
1 teaspoon salt
Pinch pepper
French bread, cubed, for serving

-Combine all ingredients except bread in a fondue pot; heat until melted, stirring occasionally.
-Serve warm with French bread. (We also ate it with apple slices. Delicious in my mouth AND totally healthy too. Fuck yeah.)

Ingredients you will need. -Minus the flour. Why? Because I forgot it. Sue me.

Quality pix taken with a REAL camera and NOT taken with an iPhone camera.

Attempting the iPhone. (So sad to my eyeballs...)

Cheese is starting to melt. Along with my heart.

I know what you're thinking. Yes, I'm growing my bangs out. No, I am not Joyce DeWitt.

(Joyce DeWitt. NOT TILTE.)

MmmMmmMmMmmm... Dinner is served. (It's important to note that your fondue will cool the millisecond you unplug it from its heat source. This results in knuckle-deep, trowling of your bread as the cheese instantly hardens. Lesson learned: Eat fast, fools.)

Strapping on the old feedbag. (I'd like to clarify- that yellow thing I'm wearing is a tank top, and not my bra. It's cold and I like to wear layers, ok.)

Since this was a fanciest of fancy dinner that would have made Robin Leach foam at the mouth with jealousy, we decided to serve it up with a Framboise Lambic. If you're never tried it before, Lambic basically tastes like Martinelli's flavored apple cider. Only it's a beer. It's sold at World Market and I expect all of you to be getting Lambic shitfaced this weekend.

Try this dinner out at your next rendez-vous and your friends will think you are a time-traveling master chef from the 70's. (PS: This was the only close up of me where I didn't look like a prime fucking candidate for a LifeStyle Lift. And if you don't know what that shit is, google it and then cry for me.)


StephanieC said...

Is it weird that I absolutely adore you with the very little I know about you? This blog makes me laugh.

You have made me crave bread intensely twice in a very short period of time, so I should be bitter.

Joyce Dewitt... lol.

Cheers to 70's chef-mastery! Just as long as you aren't growing other things out to 70s proportions.


Elizabeth said...

You have a much better fondue pot than I do. Totally jealous. I feel like having some melted cheese and bread this weekend so I think I'll try your recipe. And I'm dying to try the framboise beer. I've been looking for it since the first time I tried it at BJ's.

I hate the Diaz chin/neck we inherited. Even on our skinniest days we still have a double chin.

Deborah said...

Jeez louise girl. I make a similar version to this ALL THE F-ING TIME. Stop it!

BTW - those delicious little beef sticks are awesome dipped in there!

I agree with StephanieC - you are seriously adorable.

jess said...

yuuuuuuuuuuuum. i love bread. adding cheese makes me super happy. although, i can't really do swiss... but that's because i'm a freak about food, so don't mind me!

Crying and Croquet said...

YUM. Thanks for the mutha fucking invite!

Btw, you look like a young Mike Tyson when you eat


Megs said...

It's 8 in the morning here and now I want fondue.

Kara said...

Omfg I want that. Immediately. Lambic included, by the gallons.

mina2 said...

my whole family (including the cats) would have our paws in that cheese pot.

Coyote Rose said...

Wait, you put PBR in with cheese? That's license for mocking for life.

But i do love the longer bangs, Fabulous!

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

Steph- thanks, i'm glad you like it! just don't have high hopes. for every semi-entertaining entry there's about twenty booshet waste-of-timers.

Liz- it's in the back of beer section at world market. like $9, i think.

Debs- seriously. i think we were separated at birth with the fondue and the EXACT same vintage dinnerware set.

Jess- thanks for joining!! wait- what's so weird about swiss...? i feel like i'm missing out on something really important here.

Crybaby- i'm gonna kill you in your sleep.

Megs- it's never too early to want fondue. if the world lived by this motto we would never have any wars, i'm pretty sure.

Kara- have you had lambic? i only learned about it a few months back and now i'm allll over it.

Mina- you and your paws will be invited the next time we make it. don't tell that crybaby above though bc she didn't make the cut.

Rose- wait. are you telling me PBR and cheese is a BAD thing...? it's like i don't even know you.

Nikosmommy said...

So many good things in one post! Cheese, Lambic, bread, boyfriend (what what?! YAY!)
And Joyce DeWitt. The fact that you know her makes me smile a bit this Thursday a.m.

This boy sounds promising. He's my kind of people (the cheese/wine type)

Val said...

I love fondue....I would eat it daily if it didn't go straight to my hips. SIGH

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I am going to swear at you when I stop foaming at the mouth at the idea of fondue. Mmmmmm fondue.... Anyway, thanks a lot for having a blog on my Reader that's going to make me hungry every day. Bah! :)

PS Like your fancy top!

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

Niko- thanks! i think he sounds promising too. :)

Val- christmas parties. if that isn't a good enough reason to fondue, i don't know what is.

Assassin- thanks for stopping by!! don't worry, not all of my posts are about food. sometimes i talk about buttholes too.

jess said...

swiss? i just can't eat it. the taste, the weird consistency,the holes... i just can't do it. :P i'm reaaaaally weird about food. :)

Jessica said...

1) World Market is my fav!
2) I have the same fondue pot. Bought it at a yard sale for $3 and still haven't used it.

Ally said...

This sounds and looks so good. We got a Cusinart Fondue set for our shower and it's still in storage at my mother in law's. One day I will make this recipe!

Shauna (Fido and Wino) said...

I am trying to convince my family we need a cheese fondue on xmas eve (we always do a meat fondue but I wanna to THIS KIND).

I am going to send them this link :)


Sara Louise said...

Come and knock on my door...
(you have to sing it)

We're making fondue tomorrow to chow down on while we watch rugby. Cheese, rugby, and beer. Life is good.

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

Jess- i've never noticed a weird taste or consistency with swiss. maybe because it's cheese and my brain automatically files that under "completely edible".

Jessica- the fondue pot is great! i've used it a few times and it's worked out perfect every time. try it out!

Ally- you need to find a reason to try it out. what's the saying again- once you fondue, you never go back...? yeah, something like that.

Shauna- my fingers are crossed that your family will go for it. and even if they don't, just bring the stuff and make it anyway. once they take a dip, it will be meat/ cheese fondue christmases from here on out.

Sara- you're right next door to the fondue capital of the world and that makes me a liiiiiittle jealous. also, i saw your entry about that other fancy type of distant fondue relative (le raclette?) and it made me want to go out and by that shit immediately.

Ashleigh @ Pregnant AGAIN said...

Im quitting smoking today and Im really crabby and sad about it. Then I came accross your blog and its making me feel better for a minute. Thank you.

HappyHourSue said...

There's only one thing I want more than gooey cheese and beer.....and that's a Lifestyle Lift. For real, yo.

Bonnie said...

I have a girl crush on you.
The end.


sheila said...

HA HA HA HA HA! You're so cute. And fun. I love the pic with you and the pie. And the little loose tooth girl, lol. But I love how perfect that beautiful apple pie turned out!!!!!!!!!!!!

FabuLeslie said...

Mmmm. Fondue. You're my food soul mate.

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