Reunions Aplenty!

I'm warning you now friends, this is going to be a biggie (cue the endless photo montage). This is the 15lb 8 oz, bouncing baby blog I've been putting off for a week now because I have so much to say and not nearly enough brain power to make it pass for comprehensible English. With that said, let's get the show on the road.

Last weekend was filled with reunions of all sorts...

And by family reunion, I mean we see each other alllllll the time, but this time it was an official "Ughhhh, OK, we can all meet in a public place, sit, and have a meal together, I guesssssss."

We met at Claim Jumper. When my sister Tanya arrived, I asked her to take a picture of me and Motherdear. I also asked her to crop out her grubby kids (who happened to be swarming all around Mom). This is the pic she took.

(You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family, I believe is the saying...)

I caved and let those street urchins join my picture.

TILTE: "Mom, show me Jazz Hands."
Motherdear: :::wiggling arthritic fingers:::

TILTE avec niece/ nephews, minus Hogan.

I only got one pic of Tanya, which she quickly vetoed. And I forgot to get a picture of Liz, which is unfortunate since she was the one who planned this whole thing. And since I didn't get those two broads, there was no point in posting a picture of Chris. Oh well. Better luck next time, family.

I wasn't feeling too hot on this excursion, so my food choices were pretty grim. We started with an appetizer sampler platter and the hot pretzels. (Note: the pretzel is where the MONEY.IS.AT.)

For my main dish, I ordered the potato soup. I was not impressed and I would not write home about it and in fact, I'm not even going to post a picture of it. What a fucking waste of a potato, Claim Jumper... I'm going to give the old CL one out of five chins. The pretzel was pretty dreamy, but the rest of the food just insulted my palette.

So, waaaaaay back in 2005, I lived on campus at my university. I was placed in an apartment with Courtney, Katie, and Liana.

Liana- A girly girl. Cameron Diaz lookalike. Shabby chic. Nicest person ever.

Katie- Tomboy hidden behind a cute girl's face/ body. Rough and tumble. Up for anything. Vegetarian.

Courtney- Cross between rockabilly/ Southern Belle. Sticks to her guns. Obsessed with The Little Mermaid. Vegetarian.

TILTE- (this is based on their description of their first impression of me) Militant lesbo. Art snob. Tortured soul. Butterholic.

(What the fuck........?)

None of us knew each other before moving in and probably would have never become friends. Our living situation turned out to be one of the best friendships ever.

The four of us haven't been together since we moved out, so this was a big fucking exciting deal. Katie flew down from Oregon (and boy, were her arms tired!) just for this magical weekend.

We started out at Cafe Fiore to get our pig on.

We made sure to fill up a good portion of our chins and bellies with the complimentary bread and marinara (the combo tastes just like you're eating pizza, swearsies) while maximizing cheap drunkeness by downing most of our drinks on empty stomachs (like any classy lady would do).

(White Sangria = Toooootally worth it)

Like a kid on Christmas morning, I always zone the fuck out and get hearts in my eyes as soon as my food arrives and 99% of the time don't remember to take a pic of it. And next thing you know, there's nothing but sauce and crumbs left. Well, this isn't really much of an exception.

Courtney and I shared some kind of fancy salad with walnuts and unattractive cheese, Liana ordered a chicken Caesar, and Katie ordered a pasta thingie. We decided to go for the gold and ordered a Creme Brulee to share ("to share" because we're on a diet, you see).

"Ladies... Your creme brulee. Enjoy."

:::om nom nom:::

Sidenote: Our waiter suuuuucked and unfortunately, I didn't get his name. If you try this place out, ask to be seated in Seamus' section. He's excellent. TILTE'S overall bill for Fiore: $38.

Ok, so this is when the highlight of the night took place. Katie and I went to the ladies room together. With the first stall Katie opened, she loudly announced "Ew- there's a POOP in there!", which automatically sent me into a giggle-downward-spiral. After we took care of business, Katie had already washed her hands and was waiting at the door to leave the restroom. While she was standing in the doorway, she lit up a big ol' gnarls barkley fart. I died laughing (like I totally am right now again) and in the process, accidentally pulled my ring off my finger when I was paper toweling my hands, and tossed it in the trash. All the paper towels immediately blended together and turned into one giant mess like those stupid posters that were big in the 90's that you'd have to look at for a long time before you'd see a mysterious object, like Bob Marley or something. I had to dump out the whole trash, kneel on the floor... And sift through strangers' paper towel shreds... And even a dirty diaper...

I would like to say this was the lowest point in my life, but I'm pretty sure we all know I've had lower.

From Fiore, we all headed over to El Rey and met up with some more friends. El Rey is still pretty new to the area, but so far I've NEVER been let down by this place. It's small and always happening. The bartenders are friendly, they have solid DJ's (Note: DJ means anyone with a Mac), and strong drinks. If you try this place out, go with the alcoholic Horchata. It's not the BEEEEST drink I've ever had, but any drink based on Horchata is definitely worth a shot. TILTE'S overall bill at El Rey: $10.

I ended the night by strapping on the old feedbag again- this time with pizza from Jimmy's Slice. As any drinker worth their salt knows, you need to 1) drink one water per alcoholic beverage, and 2) stock up on shitty food right before you go to sleep. TILTE's overall bill at Jimmy's: $3.

Highlight #2 of the night: Four or five days later, Liana texted me that while I was dancing my pants off, I had also been knocking her tooth out. Apparently, I was cutting le rug and happened to knock Liana's beer bottle into her teeth, chipping one of her front two. Thankfully, her beautiful visage still in tact and the chip was so minor, it had already smoothed itself out. (Sorry about that Liana. I can totes recommend a great dentist, if you happen to be looking for one...)

The next morning, we headed over to Alison's Country Cafe to continue the pigoutfest. They have a big menu, and trust me when I say this, THERE.IS.NO.WRONG.CHOICE. Every meal (at least as far as breakfasts go) is served with their fresh raspberry jam that is TO.DIE.FOR. (Do you see my extensive usage of all caps??? THAT'S.HOW.GOOD.IT.IS.)

I ordered Jeff's Favorite- scrambled eggs, sausage patties, country potatoes with cheese on top, wheat toast, and an orange juice. I am fucking drooling just typing this... Overall bill at Alison's: $16...? (total guess.)

Hope your weekend was a great as mine! (I'm sure it wasn't anywhere close, so let's stop pretending.)


Deborah said...

I'm putting on clothes right now so I can go out and get a breakfast like that one. It looks so delicious!

You and your friends totally remind me of my Lorenzo's roomies. Same year I believe! Four girls that never would have met if it hadn't been for COLLEGE!

I'm trying to diet and shouldn't read your posts. Ha!

asha lanae said...

You're right...my weekend sucked

(goes into corner and cries)

But I did have chicken&waffles from the Breakfast Klub...it's sad that the food that makes you feel the onset of a heart attack is always the best...

MistressCooper said...

New School Horchata @ El Rey...2 thumbs and two big toes up!

Katie said...

I am sitting in the bathroom as I read this. Your blog is amazing toilet reading material!! As I read and re-read your account of the bathroom incident, I pretty much just fell off the pot. We must do it again friend!


Chrystal said...

hilarious!! By the way I need an alcoholic Horchata!

Elizabeth said...

btw... i avoid the camera like the plague. all because once pictures of me are taken, no other picture will or can compare to my beauty.

your weekend sounded sweet. cafe fiore and allison's!!! why couldn't i have been one of your college room-mates. instead i was one of your family room-mates

mina2 said...

you + trash pile= white hot.

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

debs- from what i've read/ seen about lorenzo, i love her already.

asha- total blogger coincidence... i just MAY be doing the chicken and waffles this this weekend.

katie- glad you enjoyed!! telling the story hardly compares to actually being there, midfart.

liz- unfortunately, we're family. which means we'll never enjoy hanging out.

mina- this wasn't my only white hot moment.

michael said...

Wow you have aged.

I want that horchata drink!!! I dont know how I have never thought to add alcohol to it.

Your white hot moment = post roxy 2006

Wombat Central said...

LOL at the pic of you and Motherdear. Nice cropping, sis. ;)

As soon as you started the garbage can story, my brain went to the diaper card. LOL again when you found the diaper. ;P

Sounds like a fun week!

sheila said...

White Sangria.....yummmmmmmmmmmmmm! Never had one but looks frickin delish!

Jazz hands....LOL. Reminds me of Jack on Will & Grace, lol.

OMG on the poop and the diaper and the ring in the trash! YUCK! But yeah, who wouldn't retrieve it? But YUCK!

Great pics! Looks like a great time!

asha lanae said...

Twitter update?

Boring. Pointless. Deleted....

That is all...

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

michael- at least i still have my beauty. i can't say the same for you.

wombat- i didn't even THINK of the diaper part when i dove into the trash. cafe fiore isn't really a "baby"ish place. plus, i was two sangrias deep by that point.

sheila- thanks!! it WAS a great time!

asha- glad to know i haven't missed out on anything.

Sara said...

Love this post! Love girls weekends! What a fun time. You know you partied well when someone chips a tooth!

Ally said...

Dude, again, you are killing me with the food photos. Please, have mercy.

But really, I love that you had all of these reunions. I had a family reunion and my high school reunion within two weeks of each other. I'm jealous of your college roomie reunion. I lost touch with mine and we only spent like one year together back in 1991... I wonder where they all are.

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