I was just having a discussion with my friend about bathroom etiquette. What's appropriate these days and what's not?
I'll tell you right now some things that get on my nerves (which I've already mentioned before, but they still bug me):
1. Cell Phone Talkers- Take.The.Convo.Outside. Everyone can tell you're in the bathroom. If the echo doesn't give it away, the flushing toilets, running water, and strained vocal chords probably do. It's gross and it makes me cringe at the thought of ever having to borrow someone else's phone.
2. Lingerers- This isn't Friday night happy hour- do your business and leave. Some of us want to get our poop on and don't want to do it when you're playing Sorority House at the soap dispenser.
3. Ghost Poopers- It's a bathroom, we all know there's going to be sound effects. Pretending like you're not there and not pooping, when you're clearly clenching buttcheeks for dear life and probably about to 'splode, doesn't help either one of us. In fact, it throws off MY evacuation process. Let's just call a truce- We both poop and never speak of it again. Okay???
This brings me to the conversation I just had...
Do you ever worry about stink following you out of a particularly unfortunate bathroom??
I always do. Especially if it's like a punch in the face when I first push the ladies room door open. I have to do a full body imaginary scrubdown when I exit the premises.
And while we're on the topic- I'd like to get to the poll part of this entry...
If someone is coming out of a stall and and it's a real fucking doozy, would you prefer to be given advance warning???
In my experience, people don't like getting advice from strangers in the toilets. But I always feel the need to give a little heads up, like "Hey buddy. You're gonna want to give that some time, if ya know whatta mean." It's polite, if you ask me. I would MUCH rather receive a warning from a stranger than receive a full blown assault on my nostrils. And actually, I would appreciate it so much (especially in particularly nasty situations), I would cry tears of joy over this act of kindness. And throw confetti streamers in the air. And probably buy them lunch too.
Am I alone on this...?