So, the other day at the grocery store I decided to make some homemade Chinese food. And by homemade, I mean, home-heated.
Let's start with the ingredients, shall we?
You'll need rice. I went with this cheapo "Rapid Rice" because 1) I'm lazy, 2) I'm cheap, and 3) I don't really like rice all that much and it all taste the same to me when I put a shitload of butter on top.
Most important ingredient: Orange Chicken. This time around, I went with Crazy Cuizine. I've tried one other brand before and they both came out pretty good, but I'm going to give the upper hand to Crazy Cuizine because I like their gusto in the spelling department.
So here's how the chicken works. First you have to thaw the little pouch of orange glaze under warm running water. Once you've racked up an extra $25 on your water bill, place the glaze aside and save for later. In a pan with oil, cook up them chickens for 12-15 minutes. I tend to cook on the longer side of directions because I'm always worried about catching the salmonellas. Last step, get your orange glaze on.
Try to start the broccoli at the same time as your chicken. Put, like, two cups of water in a pan with a lid, and steam those badboys for about 15 minutes. I don't have any exact numbers on this one because I'm a total pro and know these things just by looking at them. I mean, I knew just by looking at the broccoli my mom was cooking that it was totally ready to eat.
When you have like two minutes left on your chickens, get your rice-a-cookin. Now, I may lose you on these directions, so I'll try to keep it simple.
Tear the tab off the top of the Rapid Rice. Place in microwave for 1.5 minutes (or however long it takes).
. . . . .
Dinner is served.
Boner'Ppetite, my friends.