Sundays with TILTE.

Yesterday morning, we decided to mess around with some face paint.

Boyfriend donated his artistic abilities, while Pearl and I donated our facial abilities.

I now present to you: A Sunday Morning at TILTE's House.






Hope you enjoyed!

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In Case You Need a Laugh.

Yesterday I came across two things that made me laugh harder than I've laughed in a while.

The first one is a website I found on StumbleUpon. The page in question involves a guy who steals his friend's photos from Facebook, slightly alters them, and then places them back online on his own account. This page seriously had me laughing out loud, by myself, in my office. And then again on my drive home. And then again when I got home.

OLI AND ALEX - JAMES' FACE


The second is a clip from that horrifying, redneck, disaster of a show, Toddlers and Tiaras. When we first watched this scene, Boyfriend was silent, jaw on the floor. I, on the other hand, immediately burst into a fit of cackles and had to rewind/ rewatch like eight times. And then I recorded it. To share with all of you. Because that's what good friends do.




To those I'm friends with IRL or in my Facebook group: Apologies for the repost. These things were just too good to not share.

And speaking of too good to not share...


Happy Friday.

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The Latest with Me.

I feel like I've been phoning in my recent blog entries. Which is unfortunate because I'm always getting ideas for topics throughout the day or taking pictures of things I want to share. But when it comes down to getting it out on paper (see: keyboard), I just haven't been able to do it.

So, I'm going to try to update you on what I've been up to lately. In bullet-point format, of course.

-After BlogHer, I came back with millions of tidbits I wanted to share. I met some VERY cool people, experienced a summer-camp-like whirlwind vacation, and had somewhere near 100 pix to prove it. By the time I was able to get my thoughts in order, enough time had gone by for everyone to say "BlogHer...? That's so six months ago." I kind of dropped the ball on that one. But don't be surprised if more random pix (and videos) show up in a future post. BTW - for anyone who went to BlogHer, I posted pictures (and have more to add shortly) on my Facebook TILTE page. If I took a pic of you, it's probably there.

-I got laid-off. (Everyone give a collective "Awww..." and share some words of encouragement that will lift my spirits. -Like giving me totally exaggerated compliments or telling me Red Robin is having two-for-the-price-of-one lunch entrees.) It wasn't really a surprise since basically 90% of the company had already been let go. But it was still stressful time, mentally and financially. I didn't want to tell you right away because I was still high off BlogHer. Then my days were crazy busy hunting for jobs, filling out stupidass, pointless online applications, and meeting with employment recruiters. I was actually working harder as an unemployed person than I had been as an employed person.

-And the whole "unemployment" thing kind of cramped my style in the "food blogger" department. With a tight budget, there was no room for fine dining or trying out new recipes. My meal options mostly consisted of pasta, Uncrustables, and ham/ cheese sandwiches. -Which is not horrible if you ask me (because I like to eat that kind of shit), but they're not exactly notable delicacies.

Other little random things that have been going on lately...

-Boyfriend's daughter Pearl spent some extra time with us these past few weeks AND she just started kindergarten this past Tuesday.

-My family is planning my grandma's surprise 90th birthday party, which isn't actually until next April, but my mom is pretty excited about it and wants to get the ball rolling. (Also, I'm not sure if the "surprise" part of that title refers to the fact that it's a "surprise party" or the fact that my grandma is probably going to be surprised that it's her birthday.)

-Biscuit got into a naughty funk and kept getting into the trash every time we left the house. One day there were even day-old stinky, rotting chicken guts all up and down the hallway. Boy, that was fun and appetizing to clean up. Fortunately though, we were able to find a Biscuit-proof trash can. No more chicken guts problems.

-Lastly, I was lucky enough to get some short term employment through my friends, Rob and Bao. So far it's been a dream job. The team is all work AND all play, which are my two favorite things. (Just kidding. My two favorite things are frozen yogurt and cupcakes.) I will bring my extensive blogging knowledge to the table as the one-and-only Copywriter. I KNOW! I'm totally big time now, guys. Anyway, hopefully this shit pans out and I get acknowledged as a permanent full-time employee.

-But this Copywriting gig pretty much means I'm using up all my writing juice during the day. And when I get home to blog, it just turns into a bunch of useless drivel. So don't expect anything earth shattering over the next few weeks.

So that's it for my updates. I'm sorry I haven't been able to comment on all of your blog entries. I'll make it up sooner or later.

Is there anything important I've missed since I've been MIA?? Do tell.

xo,
TILTE

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My Acting Credits.

I have nothing to share on the food front.

Instead, I'm going to tell you about my short-lived career in the show biz industry.

When I was in high school, I got really into the whole acting thing. And by "really into the whole acting thing", I mean I had mega crushes on famous dudes and was sure that acting was my ticket to stardom. Even though my family was dirt poor, my mom managed to save up enough scrilla to get me in acting classes. I started off with a weekly children's acting class taught by a former "stage dad". I don't know how much I really "learned" in that class, but I know it made me feel less like an awkward, self conscious weirdo. Also, I do remember one nugget of wisdom he taught us: "Scenes with no dialogue are much harder than scenes with dialogue. Work on conveying emotion without using words."

Soon after that class ended, I signed up for another class with one of those "We'll Make Your Kid a Star!" agencies. You know the ones. They usually advertise in the local paper and set up shop in an executive suite. And they have a line out the door of ugly brats whose parents swear they're the next Mary-Kate and Ashley.

Yep, that's where I went. But to clear my name (if possible), I wasn't going because I thought I was hot shit. I was going to take acting courses.

So, I took a few classes there at the knock-off agency. We practiced improv and working in front of the camera. I don't remember anything remarkable from this place and now I'm beginning to question their true intentions...

Anyway, when I was around 18, I got my first paid acting job. I wasn't the starring role or anything. But I was just as important. Because everyone knows Extras totally make the scene. The job was a TV show pilot that was to air on the WB channel. I was instructed to be at Warner Ranch by 7:30am and bring "party" clothes.

I arrived on time. Which was a fucking miracle because it's nearly impossible for me to be anywhere on time, much less somewhere that involves LA rush hour traffic. I spent the day with a herd of about 100 other kids hanging out on the WB lot. It was boring as hell because apparently actors mess up their lines a lot. And if there's one little tiny thing that's off with the set/ film/ cast, they cut that shit and start all over.

Things got really unfortunate when it started to rain. They moved our herd into one of the empty houses on the neighborhood lot (it was actually the house from Lethal Weapon). But that wasn't really any better because these houses are set houses, you see. And they don't have furniture or heating or walls or fucking ANYTHING inside them. We were like well-dressed squatters.

So the main scene I was in was at a house party. I was with a group of people in the backyard and we were supposed to silently mime and silently laugh and silently drink non-existent booze like we were really at a party. In reality, it was just awkward and totally unnatural. The day finally ended around 7pm and I was stoked because as a non-union extra you make a set amount of money for the first 8 hours of work, and then anything over that is overtime. My favorite part about this job? Craft Services.

By the way- that show? Got pulled before it even aired.

My next job was through my friend Jessy, who's stepdad was a fairly popular make-up artist in the industry. It was on a Showtime series called Resurrection Blvd. It was a mostly Latino cast and the show was about Latinos living in LA. Jessy and I were in a few scenes- the day time one was at a park. Nothing exciting. But the night time one was set in a dance club and we were told to wear "sexy club" clothing. I wore a tight, red, leopard print cocktail dress (because I'm ghetto and tacky like that). And seeing as how this was a "sexy club" environment, I even busted out the big guns: My clip-on fall. Because apparently nothing says "Latina" like a leopard print dress and big hair. (What. It was the 90's, okay.)

This job was even more difficult and awkward than the last because in the "club" we were instructed to "dance to music". Only there was no music. Because then the mic's wouldn't be able to pick up the actor's voices. So me and my clip-on fall and some random dude pretended to salsa dance. Without making a sound. And without music.

There wasn't too much I learned from this job other than not to date Production Assistants. Especially if they're ten years older. Because it's just creepy.

After that job, I pretty much hung up my acting boots and decided to retire. I figured I wasn't cut out for something that takes that much effort and patience. I was never going to make it to mega-stardom, or be in a music video.

Or was I...?

Flash forward to last year. My friend Danielle and I went to a bowling/ karaoke get-together thrown by her friends Ming and Ping.

It was officially the first time I'd met them, but Danielle had shown me their website and some YouTube videos. This was basically a recipe for me to get super nervous and make an asshole out of myself.

Which obviously happened.

But the great thing about it was, everyone was pretty drunk and having a great time and nobody made any comments about me acting like a leper with Tourettes. And to top it all off, Ming and Ping used film footage from that night's events for their next music video, Bridge and Tunnel Music.

And guess who made it into the video!

I DID, THAT'S MUTHAFUCKIN WHO!

So, it looks like my big dreams came true afterall. It's probably because of all those acting classes I took. Or maybe it's just my natural talent.

Also, did you watch the Ming and Ping video? Were you able to spot me??? I have a few quick appearances, as do my dancing feet. FYI: Most of the people in the video are Asian. So what I'm trying to say is, it's basically like playing my own personal version of Where's Waldo.

So that's the story of how I got über famous.

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BlogHer Part II

As many of you know, BlogHer was this past weekend and I was lucky enough to experience it. If you don't know what BlogHer is (and clearly didn't see my last vlog post), it's a big convention for women bloggers. This year it was held in San Diego and over 3,600 bloggers attended.

Since there's TONS of material to cover, I'm going to *try* to make this as cohesive as possible. However, I'm totally aware that this post may just end up being an endless pit of pointless rambling. Thankfully, I have low standards and that's pretty much how all my posts end up anyway.

OVERALL SCHEDULE

I arrived in San Diego on Thursday night and had dinner with Erin and Christina. This was our first time meeting IRL, and everything went totally smoothly like we'd known each other all along. After dinner, we headed back to the hotel to check out the The People's Party and Queerosphere. I had high hopes for both because The Bloggess was supposed to be at The People's Party and Queerosphere was a disco-themed gayfest, two things I love, natch. Unfortunately, neither party was very exciting. Maybe it was because it was just the first night and technically the "conference" hadn't really started yet. Regardless, I think I would probably skip the first night's parties next time.

If you remember from my vlog, I was going to stay at Morgan's house. Plans changed at the last minute when I received a text from Mandy offering the extra bed in her hotel room. So that's what I did.

Anyway, Friday was filled with convention stuff and I felt like I was on the go nonstop. Breakfast was served from 8-9am. First session started at 9:30, the last session started at 4:45, and there was a 1.5 hr lunch break in the middle. After 15 minutes of sitting through my 1:15 session, I didn't feel like I was getting much out of it, so I went back to the room to rest. I headed back down to the convention center for my 2:45 session because you better believe I wanted to learn the move to the Single Ladies dance (a class on losing your inhibition). That night, Erin and Christina and I went to the Sparklecorn party, an event that nearly everyone was at. We danced and snacked and I called it a night when my feet had turned into burning hot lavaballs.

Saturday was my "free day" because I only purchased a one-day ticket for the conference. I grabbed some free breakfast at the convention center, made my rounds to grab free shit in the expo hall, and then spent the day with my friend Michael who lives in the area. That night, a group of us had dinner at The Red Door thanks to Morgan's networking talents.

After dinner, we went to the Aiming Low party, which was supposed to be a relaxed, low-key getaway from the rest of the BlogHer parties. Unfortunately, there was too much going on for it to be "relaxed", but not enough for it to be a real "party". It wasn't really my thing, so I went back to my room. After reading some tweets about how great the Cheeseburgher party was I decided to check it out. Pretty much everyone was there and the dance floor was packed. This party was sponsored by McDonalds and they had hot cheeseburgers and fries on hand all night long. :::WINNING:::

PROS

-Great speakers who made you feel like they were casually talking to you one-on-one.

-Plenty of blogging topics to choose from at each session.

-Tons of swag.

-Breakfast, lunch, midday snacks, and party admission included in the price of ticket.

-Food options offered Vegan and Gluten-free.

-Opportunity to meet people whose blogs you follow and/ or who follow you.

-Opportunity to meet completely new bloggers who you may have never heard of before.

-Reliving the "sleepaway camp" feeling (unless that feeling was awful, in which case, it was nothing like that).

CONS

-Seemed like the "speed dating" thing was poorly organized. (It was supposed to be a quick introduction between two bloggers, switch business cards, and then move down the line. In reality, our line never moved.)

-Not enough down-time planned into the day. The conference was non-stop, but I had to make my way back to the hotel to rest twice because it was exhausting. My first "nap" only lasted a few minutes though because I felt bad for wasting my precious BlogHer time.

-Breakfast at 8am? Next time, let's move it back an hour.

Knowing what I know about BlogHer, would I do it again? Yes, definitely. Would I go to next year's BlogHer? No, because it's in New York and that's a bit too far (see: pricey) for me.

Favorite part about BlogHer: A certain blogger I met told me I'm just like I seem based on my blog. This was really great to hear because I always wonder what people think I'm like. So basically, if you think I'm annoying on my blog, chances are you will think I'm annoying in real life.

PHOTO HIGHLIGHTS

The main registration area.

Breakfast...

Breakfast...

Breakfast.

Midday snacks.

"Speed Dating", the first event at BlogHer.

Favorite speaker Ananda Leeke, during the Wellness session

Practicing stretches and breathing exercises.

Learning the moves to the Single Ladies video thanks to Jenny Eckton.

Blogger dinner at The Red Door: Mandy, Morgan, Jules, Lexa, Kristine, Carrie, Stacy, San Diego Momma, and two others whom I didn't get to meet (we were at different tables).

MegaSwag thanks to all the generous sponsors at BlogHer.

My business card thanks to the wonderful design talents of Mr. Boyfriend.

So that's it for the second installment of BlogHer11. I think I'll probably give it a few days and then post some pix of what people wore. And maybe even a video of the Single Ladies dance.

Stay tuned.

Boner'ppetite!

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BlogHer.

Here's a little video I just whipped up. It's about BlogHer.

Check it out and let me know what you think.

(Since I can't preview the video before posting, I'm not sure if it's going to be all glitchy and possessed looking. If so, I'm blaming it on Blogger.)

Also- Are you going to BlogHer???



For more BlogHer intro videos, visit the blogs below.

Musings of a Madwoman

The Sweetest

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Make a Hot Dog, Dummy.

Are you starving?

Yes!

Want something easy and fast because if it takes longer than 5 minutes to make you'll probably roid rage out and flip a table over?

Yes!!

Want to avoid going to the store because you have Charlie Manson hair and you're still in your pajamas even though it's 2:48pm, and also because Judge Judy is about to start in 12 minutes?

YeSsSsSs!!!

Well. Make a hot dog, dummy.

INGREDIENTS

-weenie

-bun

-Heinz baked beans

-cheddar cheese

DIRECTIONS

Heat weenie. Heat beans. Put it all together.

Boner'ppetite.

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Love Your Pet.

WARNING: There are very sad photos and videos coming up.

I usually don't post this many enties in one week. And I usually try not to post about subjects that make me sound like I'm getting on my soap box. But this topic is something that really fucking bothers me and it really deserves all the coverage it can get.

Do you know who Kisha Curtis is? She's a heartless bitch who starved her puppy to near-death. And then threw him down the garbage chute so he could die in the trash. Just in case you think I'm exagerrating, click here to get the full story.

What the fuck is wrong with people that they think it's okay to abuse animals? This isn't an isolated case either. The SAME shelter that's nursing Patrick the wonderpup back to life is also working on a dog named Marvel who was impaled on a pole and left to die. Maybe if this country had stricter laws about it, there wouldn't be so many cases of animal cruelty. Abuse of an animal is still abuse and $1000 fine is NOT a fitting punishment for it.

This video show images of what Patrick looked like on the day he was discovered. It's sad and hard to watch. But he's getting better and stronger everyday and the hope that he'll pull through a be a great pet makes me want to help him.



He's making huge progress through the help of the Associated Humane Society, Popcorn Park Zoo, and donations from across the nation. I made a donation and you can too by going here. It doesn't have to be huge. And I know it's easy to say "I'd love to, but I'm broke" (and then proceed to meet with friends for drinks tonight). When I thought about donating $25 for a puppy who's been tortured his whole life and still has the will to live- or splurging on two extra cocktails- it was a no brainer.

Here's a video showing his latest progress:



As you can see, he's just a sweet, happy pup who's eager to learn about the world all around him.

I feel so bad for what he's had to endure. And I hope he makes a full recovery and becomes a great pet for a loving family.

And I hope his previous owner rots in hell.

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