I think about it when I'm getting out of the car: What if I accidentally flash someone??
I think about it when it's windy: What if the wind blows my skirt up??
I think about it when I'm exiting the ladies room: What if my skirt accidentally gets tucked into the back of my underwear*??
I think about it when I get up from my desk: What if it's stuck in a crinkle position and doesn't fall to its full length when I get up??
I think about it when I'm going to be in a crowded area: What if someone walks briskly past me and their purse/ bag/ dog accidentally catches onto my skirt and rips it off??
Like this. Only not as rich or Kardashian'y.
It's stupid. I'm not even sure why I care so much about people seeing my underwear, but I've always been concerned about it. When I was a kid, I used to wear pants under all of my dresses. What a weirdo, right? Maybe it's because of my refined upbringing- ladies don't show their underwear, you know. Maybe it's because I like to pretend that if no one sees my pancake-batter, blubber-butt, it doesn't exist. Maybe it's because I think the image of my TJ Maxx granny panties will be permanently branded into everyone's retina. Whatever it is, I'm still not down with it.
So, if you happen to see someone in a skirt/ dress being really fucking crazy for no good reason, it's probably just me losing my shit over a gust of wind.
*This actually happened to me a few months ago. Thank GOD, I was wearing leggings.