Phrases I'm Tired of Hearing.

If I never hear these words/ terms/ phrases again, I will be in Heaven.

Saying "I know, right???" or the alternate "-Right???"
Used in a conversation
Person A: "I can't believe she wore those jeggings. They are so out of style."
Person B: "I know, right???"
This makes no fucking sense because Person B has not said anything that would require affirmation. Instead they are asking for affirmation for what Person A just said. Which obviously Person A already affirmed because he/she was the one who freaking said it in the first place.

Verbally saying "OMG" pronounced "Oh em gee"
Used in a sentence
"OMG, I'm so excited!"
This slang verbiage should be saved for texting or some other occasion that requires informal typing. The only time it should be used in actual conversation is never.

Inappropriately calling someone "Passive-aggressive"
Used in a conversation
Person A: "Hey, would you guys mind keeping it down? I'm on a phone call."
Person B: "SOMEONE'S being passive-aggressive today..."
When a person directly asks you to adjust your behavior, that's not called passive-aggressive. That's just normal human interaction. Quit making something out of nothing and get back to work.

Used in a conversation
Person A: "What do you think of your brother's new girlfriend?"
Person B: "Honestly??? I'm just so over her."
No, not honestly. I asked you a question because I want you to answer with the most inaccurate, falsified, faker-fakington response your imagination can think of. To be clear, there's nothing wrong with starting a sentence with the word "honestly." It's the pause and question mark that are unnecessary.

Used in a conversation
Person A: "Hey, do you have any bandwith to take on this editing project?"
Person B: "No, sorry. My schedule is full today."
Usually heard in the workplace, "bandwith" seems like the trendy way to say "time." Why don't people just use say "time" instead? For the same reason they say "ping me" instead of "contact me." Because this is the future.

Used in a sentence
"I laughed so hard, I literally shit my pants."
Do you know what the word "literally" means? Did you actually poop in your pants? I'm pretty sure you didn't, because if you had, you probably wouldn't be so eager to share that piece of information*. (*Unless you're me.)

If you have any, feel free to add them below. Sharing is caring.

Speaking of poop-

Yesterday, while on a phone call with a wedding vendor, I managed to say "feces pit" instead of "pieces fit." I'm sure she was impressed with my extensive knowledge of wedding terminology.


Lorraine said...

I have a co-worker who says, "honestly" all the time though I never really noticed until I read this post. Of course, now I'm going to notice it EVERY. TIME.

"Bandwith?" Really? I have never heard that one and if someone used it to ask me if I had time, I'd say no. Always.


Erin said...

My peeves tend to center more around misuse of certain phrases or incorrect usage. Like "intensive purposes." It's intents and purposes, dudes. On what planet does "intensive purposes" make one iota of sense? Otherwise, I'm afraid I'm guilty of using "right?" I just like it. :)

Veronica M. D. said...

So annoying, RIGHT???

I say the first one all the time. Can't make myself stop.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

OH EM GEE YES! :) (sorry)

THIS! Actually "THIS" is another one. Fucking stop that. Say "I could not agree more!" or "Spiffing old chap, well done!" or "fantastic assessment of facts, human!" Just fuck off with the "THIS!"

There. I'm calm.

Also? Do not say "supposebly". Just don't. It's not a word. Neither is "irregardless". It's redundant. DO NOT.

aki! said...

I posted something like this just the other day. It's very annoying when you catch yourself saying something it annoys you just to hear.

tara said...

Love all of these except the first one...I'm sorry, I can't help myself. But I do it sparingly and I know it's ridiculous and I totally make fun of myself when I say it.

I hate when people say guesstimate!!! It drives me crazy!

Supposebly is another great one, The Vegetable Assassin. That one sucks balls and I always want to punch people.

I have never heard bandwidth and it is fucking stupid so let's hope it doesn't continue.

Simone DeBlasio said...

I fucking LOVE this post. I wrote a book with a glossary of 659 words that people use in the office that make no sense. I collected them for a year. Instead of taking notes on the meeting topic, I'd take notes on the participants dumb ass biz speak.


I started a new blog for ad women and I'm accepting submissions (book idea was too involved and sucking away my life, plus I'm working on 2 other books).

Check it when you have time and I hope you submit something cuz you is funny girl. (you can add "Girrrl" to the list of annoying things spoken).


Rachel C said...

I'd like to add "om nom nom" when discussing something delicious, and "wow.... just wow." I want to quit The Internet whenever I see those two.

Anonymous said...

Oh boy, I already have obvious difficulty articulating myself in front of you. But you are kind. Growing up a neighborhood girl would repeat the sentence I had just said with correct phrasing, words...play dates were a mix of sunshine and thunderclouds dumping rain on my head. That being said, I squint when someone says, "your guy's" as in, "Later today we will be coming over to your guy's house." Also, "Seriously?". I do enjoy it when people say, "shrimps". My husband's great grandmother would say, "yous" and "sammich" and I always looked forward to it. It will be sad when my son stops saying, "Octopus Prime" and the "Vampire State Building". Oh, and I say, "really?" and I really wish I didn't.

Sara said...

This is awesome. And the comments are just as awesome. Honestly. And literally. Fuck.

Josh H said...

"YOLO" is the one that drives a very dull object right through my eye socket.

Logical Libby said...

Dude, I hate the word "trending." Also, the word "dude."

Kara said...

Oh god I just wanna MURDER people who say "supposively" or "supposably" UGH (I see others agree on this one!)

I commit all the sins you hate, though :)

Deborah said...

Yes to all of these! But, of course, since I HEAR them all the time I SAY them all the time. That makes me intensely insane. blah

The one I'm really really hating right now is when someone says, "I feel like I don't know what you're saying." When FEEL is used instead of THINK. I fucking hate this!

So, again, I am saying it all the time. blah

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