Once Upon a Time, I Wore a Wig to a Frat Party.

I don't know why, but I've been on a hair kick lately. More specifically, I was thinking about a hair "fall" I used to have.

For those of you who don't know, a fall is basically a clip on ponytail.

You know, something really stupid like this.

One night- I must have been around 20 or 21- I was going to a frat party at UCLA. Since I had short hair, and short hair at a frat party pretty much means no one would spit on you if you were on fire, I decided to clip on my magic hair.

I remember I was wearing something equally embarrassing too. Capris and a t-shirt with the Playboy bunny across the front. That I bought from a Wet Seal knock-off store.


So, I was at the frat party, dancing my generic capris off and some dude made his way over to me. I thought he was hot stuff so we started dancing together.

I could tell he was really into me by the way his drunken, crossed-eyes would focus in the same general vicinity as my face. Lucky for us both, the lights were low and the drinks were strong, and I'm pretty sure neither of us even knew what planet we were on, much less be able to identify each other in a police lineup.

At one point, he decided to run his fingers through my hair. At that same point, I started having a mental freak-the-fuck-out moment. 

"Oh my GAWWWD! He's going to rip my fucking FALL OFF!! This is SO embarrassing! What am I going to do??!?"

I managed to stretch my neck out like a giraffe to follow the movement of his dumb, drunk hand so as to minimize the rip-off-ability.

And I made flirty eyes.

And then I playfully swatted that shit away.

No one messes with my fake hair.

We probably made out by the end of the night. I can't really remember. Maybe not though. I may have just bailed early to grab a burrito on the way home.

It was a special moment, I'm sure.


Wombat Central said...

Ah needs a fall. I'd whip that shit around in circles like a go-go dancer. Yeah. I have long hair envy. Mine doesn't do long. I'll bet your fall was rad. I'm sure what's his name totally agreed.

Sara Louise said...

I was cringing the whole time I read this because lord knows, we've all been there.
And I especially liked the description of your outfit. Nothing says sassy like a playboy bunny tee.

Nikosmommy said...

I'm not going to lie,,, I've had a similar "experience" with my hair extensions aka "Ma Weave!". Sometimes women have to work so freaking hard for the look they want... And it's all good as long as people look but don't touch!

The Sweetest said...

One time in college I had to skip class (well, one time out of many) because I had a big zit on my forehead that I had surgically removed and my roommate declared the aftermath too ugly and scary to leave the apartment. Of course, I wanted to go out that night, so what teased about he lesion I lied and told everyone that I had been burned by someone else's cigarette. Because that's what it looked like.

Logical Libby said...

I didn't ever wear fake hair to a party, but I can compete with the Playboy shirt. I wore a Hustler one with "Hardcore since 74" (my birth year) in sparkly letters.

Turbogato said...

Legends of the Fall

Sara said...

Oh yeah, nothing says classy like the fake fall and Playboy tee. Been there, done that. God I miss college.

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