Recipe: Homemade Cut-Out Cookies.

This is a recipe I discovered a long time ago and over the past few years it's turned into my signature Christmas cookie. I.LOVE.THEM. The fact that I'm even sharing this recipe right now is blowing my mind because I imagine that someone is going to read this recipe and then get super famous over it, sharing it with people like Oprah Winfrey and Ellen Degeneres, and then I will find out (and probably get roid rage) and then have to track them down AND KILL THEM.

Anywho.

Even though it's my absolute favorite cookie and I could eat these babies for days (weeks) on end, I save it strictly for Christmas time because they usually take all fucking day to make. And I only have that kind of patience and dedication once a year.

It doesn't require many ingredients. And the directions themselves are surprisingly short. However, anything that involves "chilling" time (unless it's wine) gets -2 points. Add in the fact that you have to roll out the dough and cut, cut, cut, and then roll out the dough and cut, cut, cut over and over again... I'm sure you get the idea on why this has turned into my once a year delight.

Also, the frosting is the kind of stuff dreams are made of.

(CHRISTMAS) CUT-OUT COOKIES

COOKIE INGREDIENTS:
-1 cup butter
-1 cup sugar
-3 tbsp milk
-1 tsp baking soda
-1/2 tsp salt
-1 tsp cream of tartar
-1 tsp vanilla
-3 cups flour



DIRECTIONS:
Mix all ingredients.

(This picture is kinda gross. I don't care.)

Once thoroughly combined, chill dough.



Roll out to about 1/4" thick on a floured table.



Cut with cookie cutters in desired shapes and place on a lightly greased cookie sheet. Sprinkle with colored sugar. Bake at 350 degrees until brown around the edges.


FROSTING INGREDIENTS:
-4 tsp butter
-1 tsp milk
-1 tsp vanilla
Powdered sugar

DIRECTIONS:
Melt butter with milk in microwave until hot. Add vanilla. Mix in powdered sugar until you have a good spreading consistency.



Frost the shit out of your cookies. Eat them by the handful every time you make a trip past the kitchen.




NOTE:
-I chilled my dough for about 30 minutes. I also placed it back in the fridge in between batches.

-I don't bother with measuring the rolled dough thickness. I just stop rolling when it looks like it's a good thickness for cookies.

-I don't do the colored sprinkles. Instead, I insulate my cookies with two inches of frosting.

-Start checking your cookies at 8 minutes in the oven. It doesn't take much for these guys to to get crispy.

-I've turned my back on "greased cookie sheets". Instead, I just use parchment paper. It gives the same non-stickness, but prevents baked goods from slipping and sliding and go all pancake style.

-These cookies don't really expand in the oven. Which means you don't have to worry about cutting apart one giant pizookie.

-The frosting takes a lot of powdered sugar to become the perfect spreading consistency. Start by adding a lot of powdered sugar to your butter mixture. Use a whisk to break up all the lumps. Then add a shitload more sugar. Whisk again. And right when you think you've got it perfect, add more sugar. Whisk as needed.

Boner'ppetite!