Get Ready to Have Your Face Dazzled Off!!!!

HALLOWEEN IS NEARLY HERE!!!!!!! This means BIG business in the TILTE household (and by "TILTE household", I mean my mom's house). I love Halloween and obssess over it and plan my costume months ahead of time (and usually wait till the last minute to put it together and then get pissed because the thrift stores racks are bare.)

This year's costume is top-mutha-fuggin-secret and will only be unveiled ON Halloween. Of course I'll brag blog about it next week, but until then I know you'll just be slitting your wrists in anticipation.

For now, let's discuss some of my costumes from Halloweens past...

As you can see, I was a Halloween officionado right from the start. While other little girls were dressed as princesses and fairies, I was a Housewife. That's fucking hard core.

Alright, fast forward like twenty years and here I am. This costume was a last minute attempt at being Gogo Yubari from Kill Bill. And by last minute, I mean, I planned, planned, planned and ended up throwing together shit from my own wardrobe.
(I know it's impossible to tell the difference but the real Gogo is the second picture.)

To this day I'm still impressed with my commitment to quality on this Exorcist costume. I bought an old flannel nightgown at the thrift store, which totally kept me warm because I had a tank top and leggings underneath. I made barf out of oatmeal and green food coloring. Colored my teeth with brown eyeliner. And created scars and blood out of homemade glue paste and corn syrup with red food dye. Linda Blair is totally rolling over in her grave right now. -What? She's not dead? Whatever.

UPDATE: My mom totally just found this picture me and and my bestie when we went to a Dead Celebrities Halloween party. I was Mommy Dearest and she was Mrs. Roper. Eat your heart out, Joan Crawford.

Since both my bff and my sister called me out on the whole "sexy costume" thing, I feel like I MUST preface this photo by saying WE WERE GOING TO AN ADULT THEMED PARTY. I know what you're all saying and you're right- I am totally hot stuff and I should sport this outfit like all the time. But I'm just too shy for that kind of stuff. PS: I was a "Sexy Sailor". :::i die:::

Dead Girl Scout. Everyone does the "Dead ____" sooner or later and it's always a goodie because everyone knows what your costume is. And if there's something that really makes me go apeshit, it's having to explain my costume.

Dear, sweet Pippi. This costume is a REG-U-LAR in my Halloween apparel because it's always a GD hit. I bought a kids dress from the thrift store, threw an old apron over it, put some knee socks and old ratty shoes- and don't forget the hair, that's fucking KEY. I master this look by bending a wire hanger over my head and braiding it through my hair. And by "bending a wire hanger over my head and braiding it through my hair", I mean my mom does it and I flip the fuck out when she accidentally pulls too hard.

I think this needs no explanation. Unless you don't know who The Colonel is. -And if that's the case, I don't even want to know you.

I always love Dia de los Muertos costumes. (Mariachi sold separately)

I became obsessed inspired after seeing THIS Barbie make-up tutorial and decided to be that dreamy, babealicious Barbie for Halloween. I found everything for the outfit at the thrift stores and spent a small fortune ($20) on that lifelike wig. The only thing I used of my own were my socks that were used to give me giant Barbie boobs. You say Donatella Versace, I say Barbie.

So, I bet you're all going fucking mental right now trying to figure out how I can top these Hollywood-level theatrics. You're just going to have to wait until next week.

On a related note- Everyone should TOTALLY send me pix of your Halloween costumes and I'll post them on my Halloween entry!!! Send me pix of you, your kids, your pets- I don't care! I will post any pix you send me as long as it's not creepy*.

Send your pix to TILTE@live.com. Also, include your blog link!

PS: If nobody sends me any photos, we're going to pretend this never happened.

*no gentalia


Elizabeth said...

you forgot the best one of all... "i said no wire hangers!!!" Joan Fricken Crawford - baby!!!

Nikosmommy said...

Amazing Halloween post!!! I love that you're so into this obviously important "holiday". Loved the Colonel Sanders costume and you were a pretty cute sexy sailor too (lets trade abs mmkay?)
All of your costumes are great...can't wait to see this years inspired awesomeness! Happy Halloween missy!

Katie said...

I have several pics of you all dressed up! Was it Halloween when I was Marilyn Monroe and you were the chick from Mortal Kombat?

Julia said...

Oh my gosh I LOOOOOOVE this entry!!!! Great costumes!!!

Wombat Central said...

Bahahaha! Loved them all--especially Mommy Dearest and Kill Bill!

Anonymous said...

You have come pretty good costumes under your belt.

My costume past is feeling very dull. I will get to work on next years costume...

LaceyRee said...

love, love, LOVE the costumes! I went as barbie one year too!! us brunettes have to play blonde at least once just for funsies. can't wait to see what you thought of for this year :)

Kim said...

Love all of your costumes! And way to rock the "Sexy Sailor!"

I think my fav is the dead girl scout. Mayhaps.

Biscuit said...

Feel free to use my little gnome in your post. I LOVE the exorcist costume, commitment!

sheila said...

Awesome! LOL! and what a lovely Linda Blair! OMG! lol

Ally said...

OMG. I am loving all of your costumes. Not just the Mommie Dearest!

Caleb said...

There I was thinking "Um, aren't girls supposed to be slutty ______'s for Halloween?" and getting all worried, but you threw me a bone. Nice sailing outfit.

Creative and funny costumes (OMG I luffs the Col. Sanders one!) are awesome, yet I'm always disappointed when good looking chicks don't skank out.

Isn't there some sort of compromise? Like a really crafty-- yet not subtly slutty-- costume?

I mean, Col. Sanders probably would have worn midriffs, right?


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