Beans on Toast

My dearest of dear internet friends, I'm going to share with you a secret family recipe that only a few special family members know about. And by "a few special family members", I actually mean everyone in the United Kingdom and Australia. And probably New Zealand, South Africa, and Canada too.

Beans on Toast. Yes, you read correctly. BEANS.ON.MUTHA.FUGGIN.TOAST.

Here in the southern Californias, beans are best saved for rice and burritos and even sometimes barbeques (Correction: This originally said teriyaki bowls until I woke up this morning and realized I was half asleep when I typed this out last night. Clearly beans do NOT go with teriyaki bowls.). But in those fancy British colonies, they serve beans on toast and eat it as a breakfast meal. I know- it's so crazy, right?!?! So, here's what you'll need:

-Heinz Baked Beans. It's very important that you go with Heinz because this is the brand they use in real life England. And because they're the best. They're not all sugary sweet like those other stupid brands that make my mouth water in a gross about-to-vom kind of way. Heinz can be found at local British shops, CostPlus World Market, and word on the street is, you can even find them once in a while at the dollar store. But act quickly, because I'm sure the ex-pats receive immediate notice when they're in stock.

-Cheddar cheese.


-White bread.

Sooooo, basically you're going to want to toast your bread. And get some butter on there too while you're at it. As you can tell, I didn't put too much on mine. Because I'm on a diet.

Grate a whole shitload of cheese and put it to the side. Then get your beans in a pot and heat those badboys up. Throw like a handful of cheese up in the mix. It will make them extra tastey and your intestines will thank you later for it.

When the cheesey beans are nice and bubbly, spoon them onto your diet buttered toast. Lastly, top with more grated cheese. You know, for good measure.

I know I already lost some of you way back up there when I first said beans on toast, but if you've lasted this long, it is well worth your interest to try this little diddy out. It's actually really delicious and totally filling. Also, I've heard beans on toast is responsible for smart British accents and calling restrooms "loos". I cannot be held responsible if this happens to you.

Happy Beaning.


Biscuit said...

"If you cheese it, they will eat it."

I think that's an actual passage in the Bible. I'm for sure making this and eating the shit out of it. Wait til I tell you about CHEESE N COFFEE, magical.

Kim said...

By golly, good chap, I do think I'm going to have to try that as it surely whilst be scrumptious.

(That's me, but BRITISH. They still say things like whilst and thoughest etc.etc. right?)


Kim said...

Funk... that says "whilst" when I MEANT to say willst... shit I'm so bad at being British.

*cries onto toasted diet bean butter toast*

Sara Louise said...

I've spent many a hungover morning eating beans on toast during my Dublin days. Delish! (and easy enough to put together when it feels like you have a jackhammer in your head)

Chrystal said...

I'm going to Cost Plus today to try it out - but I might try mine on wheat toast - not much of a white bread fan.

Elizabeth said...

Oh my goodness great balls of fire! Does mom like it? Doesn't it give you gas? Lordy knows I don't need to be throwing any stink bombs in the morning.

Junket said...

Are you kidding me with this shit? I'm not eating it. This is like me eating peanut butter on cucumbers. I demand an eat-off sometime soon.

Anonymous said...

Love me some beans on toast. I agree they MUST be heinz - but I like mine with the ham sauce. Mmmmm.

Deborah said...

I like anything on toast mostly.

But I'd have to use Van DeCamps (spelling??) beans.

I love anything that resembles gravy on toast. Sop it up!

Wombat Central said...

Any time you marry beans and cheese, you know something magical is gonna happen. And I'm not talking about flatulence. The toast just makes it crispity crunchity magic. Must try this.

sheila said...

Wow, at first I thought you were nuts, but damn this actually looks good!

RN Mama said...

Are you serious? You can't be serious! No, I can't do it, I just can't. You're right you lost me when you first said "beans on toast."

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