I Practically DIED Last Night.

I've had this shit awful sinus headache or migraine or brain worm for the past four days and last night it almost killed me. For serious, friends. I was reduced to TEEEEARS, it was so bad. To make matters worse, I have a lying bastard of a thermometer who lied to my face and said my temperature was 98.5 when it was clearly at least 126.

I was also sick to my stomach, which I assumed was from my brain worm.

At first, my stomach was just a little upset. And then all of a sudden it started to RAAAAAGE. And I don't mean like when I say I'm gonna "rage" because we all know that just means "take a nap". My stomach was burning and churning and bubbling and was all kinds of hellish barfy. I was miserable. After about an hour of fighting with this ruler of the dead and lord of the nether world, it dawned on me... Earlier in the day, I had started taking these new supplements. Supplements that had been advised by three different people (no, not doctors, just good friends, ok???) for problematic stomachs. Supplements that go by the deceiving name "Probiotics: The Good Bacteria." Now, I'm not doubting the validity of these little pills. In fact, I'm sticking with my new regimen after speaking with my local nurse practitioner (Dr. Internetz) and learning that probiotics can sometimes be harsh at first because they are cleaning out all the evil, no-good intestinal squatters. My advice to anyone who's thinking of trying probiotics: Do it. Just be prepared for a nasty, glowstick-waiving, middle-of-the-desert rave in your stomach, followed by asshole explosions.

Anyway, the combination of my two ailments totally wiped me out and I ended up sleeping in until 11am. When I finally peeled my eyelids back, I was greeted with this:

Kosmo making himself all cuddly wuddly in my arms. He haaaaaams it up when I stay home from work.

I felt much better this morning, but I was still on alert because this stupid MFing brain worm is tricky, you see. He's also a late sleepr and usually kicks in around 3pm. To ensure this little bastard had packed up his wormy bags, I made an appointment with a chiropractor. (I hadn't been sleeping very well and was waking up with Christopher Reeves neck).

Chrystal had told me before that her chiro includes a massage with every adjustment. Hm... Is this creepy or delightful? Since I can't afford a real massage AND adjustment, and since Chrystal is generally a trustworthy source, I decided to give him a shot. He ended up being totally legit and had a female massage therapist who gave me like a 20 min rubdown before the actual doc came in for the crackalackin. I was very happy with his services ($45 for initial visit, $35 every other) and am currently raising the roof for Dr. Thomas at Dumetz Chiropractic.

Also, his office is located conveniently right across the street from a great little Italian market that has deelishus desserts.

Giant.Lemon.Tart. I couldn't resist.


Sara Louise said...

(Massage + Dessert) - Brain Worm = Happiness

sleepyjane said...

Holy crap that tart looks good! I'm so hungry, it's like, 11 am and I haven't eaten anything yet. Bah!

Sorry your stomach was feeling gross and all that, I know how that feels and it totally sucks.

Deborah said...

Crap supplements anyway!

Not to poop on your pain-parade, but would you be interested in reading "The Schwartzbein Principle"? Good stuff Maynard.

I used to go to a chiro and had warm pulsating pressure point thingys, a massage, and an adjustment every time.

I asked him to marry me.

Wombat Central said...

I <3 Kosmo!

Hope your brain worm's gone and you're feeling better.

michael said...

i want to be facebook friends with your brain worm!

your lame. we have invited you to thai massage for $25 before. AND at the end of the massage they give you a bottled water and a full sized snickers bar. Mhmmm.

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

sara- you pretty much nailed it. but don't forget to +nap in that equation as well.

jane- do you have bad stomach too? i halfed my probiotic dosage last night and there were no problems. yesssss. i'll keep you posted on my progress.

debs- i goog'd it right now. you lost me at "no alcohol, no refined sugar". however, i am with you on proposing to my new chiro. i might wait till like the third or fourth visit though, i don't want him to think i'm weird.

wombat- thanks! i feel MUCH better today.

michael- stfu. take me for massage next time. i will love you long time. and by love you long time, i mean hate your guts forever.

also, i am thinking of starting a fb page for brainworm. i'll let you know when it's in the works.

Maxxy said...

Hey its me Maxxy - Linked you from Sleepyjanes place.

HAHA - Total Wipeout makes me smile a lot !!!

*Waves to Sleepyjane above*

Forgive me, but but it took a while for picture of your dawgie to register. At first I just thought it was someone lying on your bed in a gimp mask. ( I know freaky ). I think its cos his collar is kinda flesh toned. MOVING SWIFTLY ON !!!!! - Italian cakes are just THE BESTEST. My better half is half Italian and we try and get over to Visit her folks in the land of Pasta once a year, although haven't been for a while now. Their Ice Cream Rocks too....

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

maxxy- thanks for commenting! also, thanks for the night terrors i'm going to have involving my dog in a creep mask.

sheila said...

OMG I officially love this blog and it's my first time here, lol~! Also LOVED your indian name on laffylady, LOL! Thanks for commenting on my guest post!

I can be found on two places: My Crazy Life and My Body/Mind Wellness blog Come visit if you have a chance. Have a great day!

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

thanks for joining, sheila!! and thanks for loving, too!

Ally said...

everyone i know has been talking about migraines lately. i hope you feel better .... as for tummy issues, i was taking align for a while and it actually helped. then i just cut back on consumption overall and stopped having bad tummy aches, doubt that's your issue though - you're too tiny to be over doing it.

LaceyRee said...

wow, I feel like a terrible person but I definitely laughed out loud at "Christopher Reeves neck". Also, I'm glad you didn't die :)

© Things I Like to Eat (...and Other Nonsense), AllRightsReserved.

Designed by ScreenWritersArena