I Practically DIED Last Night.

I've had this shit awful sinus headache or migraine or brain worm for the past four days and last night it almost killed me. For serious, friends. I was reduced to TEEEEARS, it was so bad. To make matters worse, I have a lying bastard of a thermometer who lied to my face and said my temperature was 98.5 when it was clearly at least 126.

I was also sick to my stomach, which I assumed was from my brain worm.

At first, my stomach was just a little upset. And then all of a sudden it started to RAAAAAGE. And I don't mean like when I say I'm gonna "rage" because we all know that just means "take a nap". My stomach was burning and churning and bubbling and was all kinds of hellish barfy. I was miserable. After about an hour of fighting with this ruler of the dead and lord of the nether world, it dawned on me... Earlier in the day, I had started taking these new supplements. Supplements that had been advised by three different people (no, not doctors, just good friends, ok???) for problematic stomachs. Supplements that go by the deceiving name "Probiotics: The Good Bacteria." Now, I'm not doubting the validity of these little pills. In fact, I'm sticking with my new regimen after speaking with my local nurse practitioner (Dr. Internetz) and learning that probiotics can sometimes be harsh at first because they are cleaning out all the evil, no-good intestinal squatters. My advice to anyone who's thinking of trying probiotics: Do it. Just be prepared for a nasty, glowstick-waiving, middle-of-the-desert rave in your stomach, followed by asshole explosions.

Anyway, the combination of my two ailments totally wiped me out and I ended up sleeping in until 11am. When I finally peeled my eyelids back, I was greeted with this:

Kosmo making himself all cuddly wuddly in my arms. He haaaaaams it up when I stay home from work.

I felt much better this morning, but I was still on alert because this stupid MFing brain worm is tricky, you see. He's also a late sleepr and usually kicks in around 3pm. To ensure this little bastard had packed up his wormy bags, I made an appointment with a chiropractor. (I hadn't been sleeping very well and was waking up with Christopher Reeves neck).

Chrystal had told me before that her chiro includes a massage with every adjustment. Hm... Is this creepy or delightful? Since I can't afford a real massage AND adjustment, and since Chrystal is generally a trustworthy source, I decided to give him a shot. He ended up being totally legit and had a female massage therapist who gave me like a 20 min rubdown before the actual doc came in for the crackalackin. I was very happy with his services ($45 for initial visit, $35 every other) and am currently raising the roof for Dr. Thomas at Dumetz Chiropractic.

Also, his office is located conveniently right across the street from a great little Italian market that has deelishus desserts.

Giant.Lemon.Tart. I couldn't resist.