I'm on a family vacation right now with Pearl and Boyfriend and Boyfriend's sister and her family. I was happily enjoying the Disneyland park when all of a sudden my stomach hit the switches and said "OH HELLS NO. You will NOT be having a good time on MY watch." Things went from 0 to 60 in record time and now here I am, laid out in the hotel room while the rest of the group enjoys all the amenities Walt Disney has to offer.
While laying here I decided to look through the camera andpretend I'm not in diarrhea agony, daydream I'm actually back at the park, check out the shots I got. That's when I noticed something that I thought was worth sharing.
Kids have great skin.
I mean, really great, fucking perfect-looking porcelain skin.
In EVERY single shot of Pearl and her cousin, they're both rosy and cherub-cheeked, bright-eyed, happy and natural looking in front of the camera, clear complected, energetic and full of life... I could go on forever.
And the pictures of me? There's a 50/50 chance that I'll look like some kind of Rosie O'Donnell/ Steven Cojocaru/ Crypt Keeper/ grizzly bear hybrid.
My eyelids are all heavy and bloodshot and look like I haven't slept in 3 years. And the dark circles underneath look like I've been hidden away like Flowers in the Attic. My cheeks are puffy and saggy like fucking Droopy Dog on crack. My teeth are turning 28 shades of "shit" and I have no idea why because I don't smoke OR drink coffee, and Yes, I do brush my teeth on a regular basis. My hair looks like I'm wearing a sorry fucking 1994 Selena wig. I could go on, but I can tell I'm about 5 minutes away from another bathroom visit so I better cut it short.
I'm not telling you all this to get sympathetic "Aw, you look great!".
I'm telling you this so you'll be aware. And join me in cursing that bitch, Mother Nature.
Happy Monday.
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While laying here I decided to look through the camera and
Kids have great skin.
I mean, really great, fucking perfect-looking porcelain skin.
In EVERY single shot of Pearl and her cousin, they're both rosy and cherub-cheeked, bright-eyed, happy and natural looking in front of the camera, clear complected, energetic and full of life... I could go on forever.
And the pictures of me? There's a 50/50 chance that I'll look like some kind of Rosie O'Donnell/ Steven Cojocaru/ Crypt Keeper/ grizzly bear hybrid.
My eyelids are all heavy and bloodshot and look like I haven't slept in 3 years. And the dark circles underneath look like I've been hidden away like Flowers in the Attic. My cheeks are puffy and saggy like fucking Droopy Dog on crack. My teeth are turning 28 shades of "shit" and I have no idea why because I don't smoke OR drink coffee, and Yes, I do brush my teeth on a regular basis. My hair looks like I'm wearing a sorry fucking 1994 Selena wig. I could go on, but I can tell I'm about 5 minutes away from another bathroom visit so I better cut it short.
I'm not telling you all this to get sympathetic "Aw, you look great!".
I'm telling you this so you'll be aware. And join me in cursing that bitch, Mother Nature.
Happy Monday.
