Do you watch House Hunters or Property Virgins or My First Home or any of those other addicting HGTV shows?
They look filthy and greasy. GET A HAIR CUT.
Read More
I do.
And even though there is GUARANTEED to be at least one person per episode who makes my blood boil like molten hot lava, I STILL watch it. Like a moth to a flame.
The following is a list of stupid shit I hear people say alllllll the time that really makes me want to roll around on the floor like I'm on fire.
"The pricepoint we're looking at is $XXX,XXX." - Why OH WHY can't they just say "PRICE"?? Why is it now "pricepoint"whenever you're talking about how much money you're willing to spend on a house? DUMB. Just say price.
"I just love the open floor concept." - This is suuuuuch a trendy thing to say. We get it, you want one big house with no walls. So does every other moron out there.
"Hm... I was really hoping for granite counter tops/ stainless steel appliances...." You-Can-Install-That-Shit-Laterrrrrrr. Dummy.
(Said by woman/ girlfriend/ female companion in reference to the walk-in closet) "Well, there's enough room for MYYYY stuff." Ladies- making jokes about hogging all the closet space wasn't funny the first 85 times I heard it, and it's still not funny when you say it.
(Said by shopper who currently lives a tiny-ass studio apartment, OR better yet, his/ her parent's home) "Ugh. This bedroom/ extra room/ workout room/ office is WAY to small." Bitch, please. You're coming from a 10x10 ft room and you're complaining that this 1500 sq ft house is too small??? Just stop already.
"I need a house with a MAN CAVE." Always said by some yolked-out, no-neck-having, Geico caveman lookalike.
"I need a house with a MEDIA CENTER ROOM." Usually said by Man Cave dude, but can pretty much apply to any male. Also, this is another one of those trendy things to have right now. When I was growing up, we didn't have "Media Center Rooms" with theater seating and stupid reels of film affixed to the walls. We had a "Den" that had a couch, a beanbag, a 20in TV, and the walls were covered with embarrassing school photos. Media Center Rooms are for pansies.
"Ohhhh, little Bella/ Ashton/ Fido will absolutely LOVE this house!" Your dog and your embryo don't care what the house looks like. They probably won't even notice they moved. Quit acting like your kids/ pets are super geniuses, it makes you look dumb.
"I don't know. The wall color (chandelier/ curtains/ drawer knobs) are ugly." If these people can't even figure out how to visit the local Home Depot, how the hell are they supposed to be trusted with a giant piece of property??
You know what else I hate? That all the carpenters have this stupid hairstyle.
They look filthy and greasy. GET A HAIR CUT.
And lastly, I love it when a house hunter is offering way below their max and they have the nerve to quibble over a negligible amount like $1-5k. When you've already found the house of your dreeeeeams and you're already ready to put down a whopping $400k on it, what does another $1-5k matter. Answer: IT DOESN'T.
Alright. That's the end of my rant.
Anyone else bothered by stupid shit they see on house hunting shows??
