Wedding Planning: It Drains the Brain

Do you remember when you were in school and it came down to the night before a big paper was due and were you just barely cracking a book, trying to squeeze a little bit of brain juice out, but all you were getting was some dust and a few tumbleweeds?

Me too.

There have been a million things going on every day and trying to recount the tales is proving to be too much for this tumbleweed.

To give you an idea, I'm getting married soon. Very soon. There have been lots of appointments, and errands, and phone calls, and emails, and lists, and photo shoots (my life is so hard). Some of them more notable than others.

• I bought a cute fabric accessory to go with my wedding dress (which I can't describe because Eric sometimes reads my blog) and tried to give it a slightly aged effect by tinting it with tea. It turned out brown.

• I had some alterations done to my dress and they turned out crazy. So one night, when I was home alone, I started "fixing" things myself. 

Fixed it.

• I bought my wedding shoes because they were A) designer, and B) super cheap. They may, or may not, have been such a steal because they're two slightly different shades of the same color. Whatever. I CAN'T PASS UP A GOOD DEAL, OKAY.

• I had a hair trial that ended up looking like My Little Pony took a cotton candy turd on my head.

• I had a makeup trial that looked like Jocelyn Wildenstein, Angelyne, and Hellen Keller got together and had a fight on my face.

And despite all of these trials (and errors) I'm totally not even losing my mind. Instead, I'm just super fucking stoked to be marrying my best friend. I don't care how the day's events pan out, even if I look like a tornado of over-priced insanity, I can't wait to walk down that aisle.

MRS BLOGGER-MARRIED-LADY, HERE I COME!!!

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Wedding Cakes: A Never Ending Saga

I'm going to complain about wedding cake tasting. Which sounds stupid, I know. But just wait until you hear the whole story, then you'll really think it's stupid.

Bakery #1: I had to email and call the baker several times, reminding her that I was waiting to hear back. I was told by a staff member that they only offer cake tastings during the week from 12 - 3pm. But was told a different time by the actual baker. We finally made it to the tasting and guess what it sucked. Both the frosting and the cakes were greasy as shit. Not to mention, the baker wasn't payin' no mind to the simple style of cakes we were describing, but instead, pointing to photos of brightly colored, obnoxious, fondant cakes that she has made. Barf.

Basically, this was the baker. Except not as cute.

Bakery #2: I was lucky enough to speak directly with the baker on my first call. She was a little busy and asked that I call right back and leave my info so she could call me back. There were a few days of phone tag. We had a tentative time set up to talk shop, but that time came and went. Turns out, she was actually really busy because her son was graduating that week. More phone tag. We finally catch each other... and she tells me that she's a small-time baker and not equipped to serve such a large party. She could have told me that about 10 calls sooner. Ugh.

Bakery #3: Emailed a few times with the baker. Filled out an online form with all of our wedding details, including cake flavors. Scheduled a cake tasting. Two days before the appointment, I emailed to confirm. Only then did she respond saying that her husband's grandchild passed away and that they had to cancel. When she got back, more delayed follow up. This time, it happened to be because her son was coincidentally getting married that very week. By this point, I'd given up interest. However, she followed up with me in an attempt to reschedule, so we went along with it because A) she might have totally bitchin cakes, and B) it could have been bad timing with the other things going on. She said she would email me some paperwork immediately. Two days later, I still hadn't received it. Over it.

Bakery #4: Loved the baker and the cakes! Didn't love the price. Wah.

Bakery #5: Phone tag AGAIN. After a couple of weeks, baker leaves me a voicemail apologizing for being MIA. Apparently, her mother is sick in the hospital and she had to rush out of state to be with her. I give her the benefit of the doubt and we continue with the phone tag business. She seems super nice, so I continue to waste my time. I leave her a voicemail recapping all of the wedding details and mention that we would like to make a decision by next weekend. The next day, she calls with news that she will be traveling to another state, then having foot surgery, and will be out of commission for the next month. Considering that our wedding is just around the corner, she's off the list. Fucking aye, by this point I'm expecting to see Allen Funt at any moment.

Bakery #6: Great cakes! Loved this place. Ready to seal the deal! Then we find out our wedding venue is out of their delivery zone. Fuuuuuuuuuug.


We have one bakery left to try this week and then a decision will be made.

CAN I JUST GET SOME FUCKING CAKE?!?!

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