Happy Seis de Mayo!!!

So, yesterday I got a call from Danielle asking if I wanted to join her for dinner with Grant, Priscilla, and Danielle's friend Scott. Luckily, I didn't have any other plans and was actually very interested in going out, so I took her up on her offer.

I met them at Los Agaves in Thousand Oaks in honor of Cinco de Mayo. I ordered the nachos sans meat and a pomegranate margarita. The nachos were okaaaaaaay, nothing to write home about. It may have been because they were so busy and not up to their usual standars. Whatever, they were totally edible, just not the best I've had. The beans were more like bean flavored sauce, the cheese wasn't completely melted, and there wasn't nearly enough sour cream to make me forget about the other two issues. The margarita was a disappointment too. Priscilla tasted my marg and said it tasted just like hers. Her drink was a regular marg. I have a feeling they put a splash of this secret ingredient in there as the pomegranate flavoring. So all in all, I wasn't too impressed with Los Agaves this time around. I'd probably give it 2 out of 5 chins.

However, there was one VERY tasty treat to come out of this visit. Pris shared with us the best app iPhone has ever had the pleasure of being associated with. It's called.... CatPaint. If you've never heard of it, good. You will love me long time for introducing this to you. It does very cool things like this:

Watch out- KAT IN YO' DRINK!!!

aaaaaand this:

PAWS OFF MAH DRINK, KAT!!!

aaaaand this:

"HEY GUYTH, MAKE ROOM FOR ME!!!"

So that's pretty much the wrap-up of my night. While I have Cinco de Mayo on the brain, I will leave you with a latin inspired video. Thanks to Michael, I've had this song stuck in my head all day.

P.S. I want to be friends with these kids.

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Big Exciting Changes!!!

As you may have already not noticed, I added a new widget thing on the bottom righthand side of my blog. It tells me when I have a visitor and what part of the world that visitor is from. This is the best thing ever invented and without it I would never be able to stalk myself. High five, internet gods!

So with this new addition (the widget, not the R&B music group featuring Bobby Brown) I saw that I had TWO INTERNATIONAL VISITORS!!!!! I know, it's like I've become an internet sensation. Don't worry friends, we're still total BFF's and I will still ask to borrow money everytime we go out. I just want to say Major Thanks to my current international readers (Big ups, David in CaNaDa! and Kate in AuStRaLiA!) and Major Welcomes to my new friends of the world.

I should have known something magical was going to happen today when I heard two totally radical songs by Beck this morning- THE SAME SONG TWICE WITHIN ONE HOUR. Magic. Granted, the second time was because I was listening to the Beck station on Pandora, but it was still the SAME song. I lovelovelove Beck and can easily listen to his music on loop for the rest of my life. This is my fav song at the moment. The little girl is the best part because 1) she reminds me of my little friend Mouche, and 2) she stole my moves. You can thank me later for sharing that gem with you.

For lunch today, I decided to go with a local favorite: Woodranch. For those of you not in the Southern California area, WR is a barbeque type place that serves meat and meat with a side of meat. Since they have huge portions and I have a tiny belly (lolz.), I ordered the kids Tri-tip sandwiches.

I'm not really a big meat-and-potatoes kind of person, partly because I can't handle the thought of biting into something that has the consistency of a tendon/ vein/ beak/ claw. Luckily, I've never had that problem here. This is a great deal because you get two tri-tip sliders and a large side order (I chose the Smashed Sweet Potatoes) for $7.

These sweet potatoes are seriously where the money's at. I think they're whipped up with cream cheese and brown sugar and a bunch of other golden tickets. I think next time, I might bypass the sliders and go straight for the SP.

Like any classy restaurant, they also give you garlic rolls with your order.

At first, I wasn't crazy about these rolls and I didn't really get the hype. But the more and more I tried them, the more they grew on me. They're super greaseball oily, which my chins will thank me for later, but they're also super addicting. (The box is steamed up from me staring at them on the drive back to the office.)

Since summer is quickly upon us, I decided to work my way back into normal, living-person skin color and went to a tanning bed today. I've been to this tanning place a few times before and knew about the student discount. And since I'm a weasel, I whipped out my old student ID card and proceded to get my tan on. Hopefully, I can get some color going on before Saturday because Danielle is having a graduation party and I don't want her family to think she's friends with a real life corpse.

With tanning beds on the mind, I leave you with this hilare video from Little Britain. It's not exactly safe for work, but you might get away with it if your boss is cool with you watching a man running around in a naked woman fat suit.

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Garage Sailing

Welcome back, new friends!!! I had a very busy weekend and have lots to report back to you. Much to my stomach's dismay, it's easy on the food, heavy on the nonsense.

On Friday, Melissa and her little roommate Nate came over. Nate is a dream toddler and total chillaxer. Despite attempts made by my two baby-eaters (Biscuit and Kosmo), Nate remained cool as a cucumber. Since my mutts can jump sky high, they are not allowed near small people and/or delicate objects and were locked outside during their visit.

Welcome to the jungle, baby. You're gonna dieeeeeee.

Everything went according to plan until I went to the bathroom and Melissa fell for the Sarah-McLachlan-starved-innocent-helpless-"We are soooo cuddly and innocent!" eyes B & K gave her. Melissa cracked the door to say hi to these two clowns and that's when they made a run for it. Unfortunately, I wasn't around when this took place, but I could hear the hoofsteps of two wild Clydesdale ponies running amok in the livingroom. Chillaxer Nate knew exactly what to do and tossed his peanut butter-cheese crackers aside to send them off his tracks. He is a genius.

On Saturday my neighborhood had a block sale. A garage sale junkfest extravaganza, if you will. I didn't have too much to sell, no big ticket items, but the stuff I did have was in good shape and I figured I might have a chance at making $20. And getting a tan on my corpse legs.

Chrystal and Sarah came over and shared in the treasure-selling. With all of our stuff combined, we actually had a pretty solid sale going on. It was by far the girliest house on the block and if I had been shopping I would have made an offer on the whole lot. All in all, I think we had a great turnout and my $60 earnings blew the lid off my wallet. Seriously, I felt like I just won the Mega Millions.

On Sunday, I went up to my mom's for my brother-in-law's birthday meal (Happy Late Birthday, Kenny. You are now internetz famous.) She made this Mexican soup that could have landed her a spot on Food Network's Friday night lineup.

As good as this soup was, it was trumped by my weak spot of all weak spots. A pie. A blackberry pie a la mode. (Did you know a la mode means in fashion? If ice cream doens't mean in fashion, I don't know what does.) Sorry, I didn't get a chance to take a pic of the [2 slices of] pie because I had inhaled it before I had a chance to reason with myself about photo opps. Just know that it was goooood. And healthy too. Berries = healthy.

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I Should Know Better Than to Trust Rachael Ray

Last weekend I was watching an episode of 30 Minute Meals and Rachael made a recipe that looked not only tasty, but easy and foolproof. Since my husband is THE pickiest eater on the face of this planet, or any other planet for that matter, finding new acceptable meals is a nearly impossible task. This recipe in particular was for lamb shish kabobs, but Rach said you could switch out the lamb with chicken. Hm... Keith loves the chicken kabobs from Daphne's... maybe he will also love the chicken kabobs from our kitchen! My baboon heart began to flutter in anticipation of being able to cook a meal that would not result in Keith 1. grumbling, 2. stomping his feet, 3. moving back to England.

I followed the recipe to a T, except instead of making kabobs, lemon-olive couscous, and yogurt sauce in 30 minutes, I only made kabobs and it took me like 1.5 hours. Now friends, I'm going to share with you a little secret of mine. I'm a bad cook. Something always goes wrong and ruins my honest efforts to make a decent, edible meal. So long story short, this meal was no better than the others. A sign of things to come was when I asked Keith how long I should cook each side of the kabobs if I want them to be medium-rare (like the recipe states). Keith looked at me blankly for half a millisecond before saying "You can't eat chicken medium-rare, you'll get sick." I quickly explained that I was just following the recipe- which was technically using pork, in which case it would be totally acceptable to cook it medium-rare. Well, turns out I actually did undercook it because when i pulled the little chicken squares off the skewers, they were all still raw along the sides. Effffff. I was not having any part in this raw chicken business and no Salmonella was going to ruin my dinner. We put the chicken squares back on the grill to finish off the cooking.

Keith did not want to be the first one to taste death, so he waited for me to eat one so he could see my reaction. To my surprise, they were actually pretty good. They were really flavorful, which I expected based on the seasonings involved. Keith ate a few chickens, but kinda lost his appetite by inspecting every little spot of each bite to make sure it was full cooked. As my side dish, I made Rice Pilaf. And burnt it.

If you decide to try out this recipe, make sure to throw away every item you've used to cook it because there are some intense spices involved. I forgot to scrub the grill after I used it and the next morning the house smelled like I had fallen asleep in Saddam Hussein's armpit.

Happy Cooking!

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Birthdays, Babies, and Beer.

Hello, friends! I had a super busy explosion extravaganza weekend with about a million pix to post. I mean, there are no celebs, or fireworks, or Michael Jackson impersonators, so don't get your hopes up. But it was busy for me and I made sure to document every breathing moment (Keith: "YOU DON'T HAVE TO TAKE A PICTURE OF EVERYTHING YOU DO" Me: "YES I DO- MY FANS LOVE ME- THEY NEED PICTURES!!!").

Friday night I made coooooookies and they were delishface.

Usually, my oven likes to be a real asshole and burn everything I make. However, I pulled a switcharoo on this mofo and set the temp lower than it was supposed to be. (I got your number, oven...) And thanks to a secret Lawson recipe (Note: I am note actually a Lawson, I just steal their recipes), my chocolate chip cookies no longer come out like Dutch pancakes.

Saturday started out not so great because my stomach from hell was back. I was weak in the knees and it wasn't because I just fell in love. Thankfully, it perked up in time to go to my friend Hana's 30th birthday. She's pregnant so they opted for a low-key board game night at their house.
The birthday girl and her husband, Tom-Cruise-twin.

I brought Orange Chicken- thankfully Hana threw it together and dazzled my pants off by topping it with sesame seeds. Konichiwa, duuuuuudes!

There was also a berry cheesecake that was so good it's still making my mouth water. (I just wasted 15 minutes staring at this picture.)

And just in case you weren't there, here's a recap of the night's events...

"Friends! Hello! It's great to see you!"


"Time for pictures where I show my hundreds of shark teeth!"



"Hey guys, um... I'll catch up with you later. I'm just gonna hang out here in the kitchen..."

The night ended with some vicious rounds of Pictionary. It was Battle of Sexes and the women Took.No.Prisoners. Sorry, guys. Maybe next time. We kicked butt with the following drawings:

Pastry Bag

King Kong


Dumbo

So that was my Saturday night. Sunday, Keith and I took the dogs for a walk somewhere in a hilly, bee-filled area of Chatsworth. It was nice to get out and enjoy the weather, but looking back, gladiator sandals probably wasn't one of my best decisions.

Here's Keith walking Biscuit and Kosmo. I love them like whoa. I was walking Biscuit at first, but my sandals did not have enough grip to handle that tornado. Tornado of love, that is.

On our way out of the park, I did my best Simba impersonation.

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Versailles

Wazzzzzzzzup! (I say this when I want to feel young and in touch with today's youth.)

It's Friday and it could not have come at a better time. I've had a lame stomach all week and have really been looking forward to a few days off. To start the weekend out right, Chrystal and I met up at a Cuban restaurant in Encino called Versailles. Warning: If you're going to try this place out, KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED because you will drive straight past this place and think I was lying to you and made it up. Friends, I would not do this to you. Chrystal and I know exactly where this place is and we still drive past it every time.

They have free parking, but it's limited. They also have valet, and if all else fails, there's plenty of metered parking all along Ventura Blvd. The inside of Versailles is brightly lit and and has a relaxed, friendly atmosphere. And they get a bonus point for bringing complimentary garlic bread right when you're seated. Chrystal and I both ordered sandwiches- mine steak, hers chicken- that came on cuban bread with lettuce, tomato and a side of fries.



This is a picture of Chrystal's sandwich, but mine looked exactly the same. Yes, it looks a little like it's been steamrolled, but that's just the Cuban way, ok? Chrystal said her sandwich was good and I agree, so was mine. The only downside was that the steak is a little tough. And by a little, I mean I was getting white knuckles trying to rip the sandwich from my mouth. But don't let that discourage you, it was still good and I would still go back. Mainly for this gem...

Oh.My.God.I.Love.These.Shakes.

Chrystal's guanabana shake is on the left and my mango shake is on the right. Seriously, the shakes make the trip worth it all on their own. Hm... Didn't I say the same thing about Taqueria Vallarta...? (Fruit Shake = Weak Spot.)

Worth Noting: The waiters wear Cuban style shirts like Ricky Ricardo style.

...And in Other Nonsense...

Does anyone watch Celebrity Apprentice? Does anyone else think Curtis Stone is a Curtis Stone-Cold-Fox? Because he totally is. Aside from making women all around the world fall in love with him on Celeb Apprentice, he makes women all around the world fall in love with him on TLC's The Take Home Chef. In case you've never seen it, he basically hangs out at grocery stores, approaches unsuspecting women who obviously look they've never cooked a day in their life (PICK ME, PICK ME.), and goes home with them to teach them how to cook a delicious, yet easy meal. (Run-on sentence, I'm aware.) Note to self: Start shopping at healthy/ fresh/ organic/ expensive/ fancypants grocery stores.

Oh hai.

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FREE STUFF ON CRAIGSLIST!!!

Today I decided to take a look at the free gems being given away on Craigslist L.A...

Absolutely nothing wrong with getting a free one of these on CL.

Always useful for storage.

Wait- do they realize Hugh Grant is in that...? This has to be a mistake.

WTF. Are they really giving this away? I seriously want this.

Starting a fraternity? You gotta have this.

Planning a road trip? Make sure you start here. (Where's Chrystal's cousin when I need her? She usually loves these things. For reals.)

Umm... Not the best advertising I've seen...

Are you tired of being charged for not rewinding your videos before returning them to Blockbuster? Me too!

For all the knitters up in the house!!

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Aye Dios Mio

These last few days have been a real doozie. Yesterday Keef and I got in a fight. Today, my sister and I got in a fight. Now I'm watching Intervention because I need some lolz (this is my fav Intervention vid). This crazy broad weighs only 92 LB's and she's talking about how disgusting and fat she is. And she's traumatized because someone called her a moron. Ok, I'm being insensitive, I realize this. I apologize to any of my new friends who may have an anorexia or bulemia. I'm not actually this dumb when it comes to les disorders d'eating. But seriously, I just really want some ice cream.

What's happened to me- I've totally lost track of my foodness. Let's get down to brass tactics: My food intake has been total shit lately. Well, I mean, shittier than usual. Thankfully, Keefy made me a big, fat, greaseball of a burger with oven chips and they were just what the doctor ordered. And by doctor, I mean belly. Sometimes I call my belly Doctor.


I know what you're thinking. YES, we're having burgers again. That's what life is like being married to a burgerholic. Had this been 2 years ago, I would have screamed and cried and taken 20 Nytols, but today the Doctor has to come to accept this unhealthy way of living. But to my credability, the burgers were served on Kaiser rolls and only had Lawry's seasoning salt, so they were like totally healthy burgers. And the oven chips were just a generic store brand because Keith is boycotting Ore-Ida. He thinks they suck. In my opinion, they all taste the same. These were ok, just needed more salt. Which reminds me, did anyone else see on MSN that the FDA is thinking of regulating salt? Salt. Salt. Ok, we're talking about SALT, right...? Seriously, are there people out there who need their salt regulated??? This news is blowing.my.mind right now...

Anyway, that's it for tonight, folks. Despite the hilarious comedic roll that I'm on, it's time for bed. And if I don't get enough sleep, people will fear the wrath and I will look like death.

Paaaaayce.

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Profile

I know this entry is majorly late, but please allow me to explain... I got lazy. Nobody was in the office on Friday, so I didn't bother to do my hair or makeup. Then I became temporarily paralyzed when Mother Nature came along and ruined my life. With that said, let's get this party started.

Friday night I met up for drinks with a couple friends at Profile in Woodland Hills. This place seems to have an identity disorder- the exterior looks like a cool lounge, the dining area looks stuffy and fancypants, and the bar seemed like a posh pub.

Since I only ordered one Boddington's, I don't have too much to say about this place. Danielle and Chrystal ordered a Grilled Flatbread with roasted peppers, onions, and feta cheese. It actually looked pretty good, like a gourmet pizza or something.

This is Danielle. She's blurry because there was alcohol involved.

Like I said, not much to report on Profile. I wasn't in love with this place and not sure if I would come back.

...In Other Nonsense...
Things I did this weekend:

-Cut my bangs and my mom said I looked like Cheryl Burke.


-Cleared out some stuff from my mom's house for our garage sale. (A few weeks ago I talked my neighbors into having a neighborhood garage sale and i'm hoping to make some big $$$$$ (at least $30)). While going through my closet I found the following items:

A six-pack of Stella.



MacAweenie and Cheese.

And a creepy doll.

Disclaimer: The Stella was a gift that I forgot about. I don't actually hide booze in my closet. The MacAweenie was a gag gift from my Bachelorette party. The creepy doll was mine- I'll probably end up keeping her.

Hope you had a good weekend!

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